by John Walters
Update: Six year-old spelling prodigy Edith Fuller spelled both of her words correctly yesterday (“nyctinasty” and “tapas”) but did not fare well enough on the written portion of the spelling bee to advance. There’s a written portion?!?
Starting Five
Griffin Done*
*The judges will also accept “Head Tart” and “Kathy’s Career Caput”
What.
Was.
She.
Thinking?
Most of us first met Kathy Griffin when she played a D-minus list comedienne with an irrational hatred of a New Yorker (Jerry) on Seinfeld. Twenty-plus years later, what has changed? I’ll only add that a certain witty woman from the Midwest told the MH staff that “What I was truly offended by was her cultural appropriation [of a Middle Eastern custom].”
2. Paris Or Pais?
It only looks like a Pink Floyd album cover
Do you know all the details of the Paris Accord? I don’t, either, but it seems as if the entire world with the exceptions of Nicaragua and Syria agree on something designed to stave off pollution, that it would make sense to be on that side. Nature (air, water, trees, temperatures, etc.) doesn’t recognize national borders. Anyway, we’ll see if Donald Trump goes full covfefe on this or if he pulls back this afternoon when he makes his announcement in the Woes Garden.
3. “Being Black In America Is Tough”
LeBron James may win the NBA Finals, but that’s, to use a phrase Donald Trump once uttered to describe the end of the USFL, “small potatoes.” Would he ever consider running for president? Though he would be neither the first black or non-college-educated president, LeBron would become the tallest president (and, at the age of 35 in 2020, he’d be eligible to run next cycle while still playing for the Cavs: He could invite himself to the White House).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAjXrU2Info
I say this because besides being the planet’s best basketball player, James keeps making statements like the one he did yesterday after it was discovered that his Brentwood home had been tagged with a racial slur that sound wise and mature. Besides, the dude is a self-made billionaire and he has already done more to bring back a Midwestern city than most presidents of the post-industrial age. And he could make Kawhi Leonard his Secretary of Defense.
4. Breakdown
In Africa, 44 people die of….thirst after their truck breaks down in the Sahara desert. The travelers were heading from Niger to Libya, the first step in a path most likely to try and cross the Mediterranean. Six survivors, all women, lived to tell the tale. Many of the dead are children.
5. Allie’s Back
Remember Allie Ostrander? Last year I profiled the diminutive cross-country phenom from Alaska, who as a freshman in 2015 finished second in the NCAA cross-country nationals, in Newsweek. Ostrander was pretty much injured all of last autumn but now this young woman who loves chugging up mountains has found the ideal event for herself: the 3,000-meter steeplechase.
In April Ostrander made her steeple debut and ran an NCAA-qualifying time of 9:55 while winning the race. To put her feat into perspective, no competitor at last year’s Olympic Trials ever ran as fast in the steeple in their debuts. Last weekend Ostrander qualified for the NCAA Outdoor Championships in Eugene (June 7-10) by winning the NCAA West Regionals. She’ll be one of the favorites.
Music 101
Bad Blood
The power of YouTube: Neil Sedaka and Elton John’s 1975 hit soared to No. 1 on the Billboard charts for three weeks but has fewer than one million views on YouTube. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift‘s 2015 hit of the same title also went to No. 1 but has more than one BILLION YouTube hits.
Remote Patrol
NBA Finals, Game 1
9 p.m. ABC
It’s about time.
Hey Susie B.,
Go Cavs!
🙂 🙂 🙂
I was all ready today to rant about KD’s gutless joining of the 2016 history-making 73-win/Finals runner-up team just to ‘cheat’ his way to a ring & now you’ve flustered me. Till later. Go Cavs! 🙂
I seem to recall SweetPea chasing rings by going with Wade and Bosh….
The issue is not that Durant left the Thunder to go chase a ring (thanks to social & mainstream media, ALL NBA superstars these days that want a chance at the HOF, let alone to be considered one of the top 20 of all time, MUST win not one but MULTIPLE championships). The problem is that Durant joined the team that HE SHOULD HAVE BEATEN LAST YEAR when he had them down 3-1 in the Western Conf Finals. Plus, he joined a HISTORY MAKING 73-win team who appeared in last year’s Finals AND won the championship just the previous year & oh-yeah, had the 2-time/current MVP on its roster! This is flat-out disgusting & I blame the NBA even more than Durant & the slime-covered Warriors management. This is the equivalent of DOPING.
LeBron did NOT join a team with the another recent MVP, nor a team that had won 70 games nor a team that had been in the Finals just that year or in fact any year since waaay back in 2006. (‘Basketball years’ are like dog years – 1 basketball year is the equivalent of 7 real years 🙂 ). LBJ, Wade & Bosh CREATED their superteam , they did not join an already existing one. Totally different!
Why is Warrior Management to blame? I have plenty of issues with Warrior managment when it comes to their recognition of Oakland and their greed but they are at fault for managing the cap well and drafting Steph, Klay and Dray? Don’t all companies try to make themselves better? You are a stock person. If Amazon said “you know $1000/share isn’t fair to others, Let’s not get better, you’d be pissed right?”
Did Ray Allen ring chase?
Wade was on the Heat, SweetPea and Bosh joined him.
BTW, I’m a Knicks fan so I’m not being a GSW homer.
(I can’t seem to reply under Okerland’s 2nd comment so will do so here).
Hi Okerland – the GSW management’s blame is because they went after Durant, after already having the current (AND 2-time) MVP on it’s roster, had won the championship just the year before & was in the Finals again. They DESPERATELY wanted to beat LeBron & the only way they could assure that chance was by “player-DOPING” their team with the 2nd-most recent league MVP/the 2nd best current player.
Ray Allen was past his peak & players of his age often chase a ring or another one. Plus, I don’t blame him ONE IOTA for wanting to get away from Rondo, KG or Pierce. Hell, I’d have joined the Knicks. 😉
And yes, Wade was on the Heat already, but what had that team achieved since 2006? Was Wade a current or 2-time MVP at his peak? Had the Heat just won 73 games? Had the Heat just been in the Finals for 2 straight years & won a championship the year before?
Finally, sports are supposed to be played on a “level playing field” but by allowing one or two teams to STACK their teams with the BEST TALENT, it is not.
BREAKING: Kathy Griffin and Mr. Met announce engagement.
As always, I think LeBron was magnificent. On the day before he once again attempts to win a championship with & for his teammates, fans & city and further build his ‘legacy’ as the GREATEST BASKETBALLER PLAYER OF ALL TIME, he was confronted with & addressed a crime committed against his property & by extension, himself & his family. By NOT refusing to comment on a seeming racial incident, he knew that his every utterance & expression would be dissected & critiqued, trashed or lauded. All when he really just wants & needs to focus on his work at hand. But he knew that would be selfish & he knew that a teaching moment was possible if he did address the situation. HOW many other pro athletes of his stature would do the same? (Certainly NOT Jordan back in the day!)
I need to ask you something, jdubs – do you really like &/or respect Clay Travis? I find him appalling almost every damn time you tweet about him. I usually ignore but since this was about Sweet Pea, I clicked on his twitter from yours & then to his recent article. O.M.G. – what is wrong with this man? About the only thing I agreed with is that we do NOT yet know the perp & yes, the motivation of said perp could not have been racial hatred at all. When I 1st found out about the incident, I wondered if possibly some POS ‘fan’ of the Warriors or Jordan did it to distract LBJ right before the Finals. Still, whomever the culprit & his motivation, his action was HATE. Also, LeBron did NOT “compare” his situation to what happened to Emmett Till! I thought he was referencing the example of horrendous racial hatred in 1950’s redneck Mississippi to show that even today, in 21st century ‘modern’ America, alleged racism is still alive & dealt with by black Americans (no matter the fame or bank account) on an everyday basis. Plus, I BET you that 90% of white America had NO knowledge of Emmitt Till’s fate until yesterday. (AMERICAN HISTORY, people – LEARN IT!) And then for Travis to bitch about the removal of the slur? 1st of all, he doesn’t know if LBJ instructed that to be done & 2nd, would it have not inflamed the situation further to leave it up? (I do think it was wrong to remove before the police came to investigate, they could have painted over clues). Travis then puts words in LBJ’s mouth (he did NOT say HIS life was “tough”) & goes on to incorrectly imply LeBron feels he’s “being treated unfairly”. Complete distortion & FABRICATION! (Is Travis bucking for a job in the WH?). Travis then concludes with the FAIRYTALE that “every year things get better in this country when it comes to opportunities for all Americans, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, male & female”. That is the GOAL but that is NOT the reality for millions. But hey, according to Travis, as long as you’re not still being lynched, you have NO RIGHT to complain, ’cause things are lookin’ up!
I like staying out of these things, Susie B…
But, how dare you question Clay Travis? Do you know he is a MULTImillionaire and has a law degree? Read one of his mailbags and that will tell you enough.
Regarding the Paris Accord, this quote from Trump shows he still knows where his bread is buttered: “It is time to put Youngstown, Ohio, Detroit, Mich., and Pittsburgh, Pa., along with many, many other locations within our great country before Paris, France,” he said. “It is time to make America great again.”
I honestly think that if the other members of the accord had come to Trump and said, “Look, we’ll take the word ‘Paris’ out of the title. In fact, we’ll call it the ‘Trump Accord’,” he would have kept us in it.