by John Walters

Starting Five

Practice Jerseys Make Perfect

After an aborted takeoff in high winds from an airport in Ypsilanti, Michigan, on Wednesday—a near-death experience—the Michigan Wolverines made their way to the Big Ten tournament in Washington, D.C. (yes, Washington, D.C.) on another flight. Wearing practice uniforms instead of their game jerseys, which remained behind in the fuselage, the Wolverines took down Illinois, 75-55.

Who knows how far the Wolverines will go in the Big Ten tourney or if they will make the NCAAs (at 21-11, probably), but here’s hoping they keep wearing those jerseys as a reminder of surviving that ordeal, at least until they lose (they won’t be allowed to wear their game jerseys until an inquiry into the accident is finished, I’m presuming because those jerseys will be remaining on the plane).

2. Down Goes KU

It’s “only” the conference tourney, but top-ranked Kansas lost to unranked TCU in Kansas City in the quarterfinals of the Big 12 tourney. Yes, Kansas lost in K.C. to an unranked opponent. Wake-up call or omen? We’ll see. Will the Rock Chalks still land a No. 1 seed? My entirely too early list of No. 1 seeds include North Carolina, Villanova, Oregon and…………Kansas. Yes, Kansas. Sorry, Zags.

3. Nobody Wants Brock Osweiler, But He Still Gets To Keep His $36 Million

Two years ago Brock “Did You Know He’s 6’8″” Osweiler was a backup quarterback for the Denver Broncos, so he has a Super Bowl ring. A year ago yesterday the Arizona State product signed a boffo $72 million contract with the Houston Texans ($36 million of which was guaranteed), then was benched. Yesterday he was traded to the Cleveland Browns, so that Houston could clear his contract off their books, but the Browns are said to be cutting him.

Osweiler, 26, threw 15 TD passes and 16 INTs last year and had a 72 passer rating. Where will he end up next? Take the money and run, Brock. Take the money and run.

4. Hey, Sister, Soul Sister, Pole Sister, Go Sister

The Weeks sisters are not weak sisters. At this weekend’s NCAA indoor championships in College Station, keep one eye on Lexi Weeks and another on Tori Weeks. The twins, sophomores at Arkansas, could go 1-2 in the pole vault. Lexi was the NCAA indoor/outdoor champ and an Olympian last year while Tori has improved since then and beaten her sister four times this winter head-to-head.

This is the same program that produced 2016 silver medalist Sandi Morris, so they know what they’re doing on the infield in Fayetteville.

The girls attended Cabot High in Cabot, Arkansas. There Lexis set the national high school record for the pole vault while Tori set the national indoor record in the same event. You’ll be hearing a lot more about them.

5. Marines Vs. Maureens?*

*The judges will not accept “Boobs on the Grounds” but will accept “Semper Creepy” and “Rotten To the Corps” and “Code Blue”

More than 30,000 active duty and retired Marines are apparently on private Facebook pages such as Marines United, which share explicit or nude photos of female military members. All four branches of the service are investigating how the Facebook group launched and just who knew about it, but can you court-martial an entire division or two worth of soldiers?

You may be asking, Why are there so many nude photos of women? And if you do, you’ll get a severe “No, u di-un’t!” so you best not is my advice.

Music 101

Looks Like We Made It

I consider this No. 1 hit from 1977 Peak Barry Manilow, the kind of tune that launched 100 Love Boat episodes. The late Seventies were the schmaltzy period America needed and deserved after the tumultuous Sixties and Watergate-scorched early Seventies. Barry Manilow represents this Aaron Spelling-Battle of the Network Stars-Up your nose with a rubber hose-Charlie’s Angels era as well as any artist. And every girl in my sixth grade class owned a copy of Barry Manilow Live.

Remote Patrol

Duke vs. North Carolina

7 p.m. ESPN

There’s no reason with its talent that the Blue Devils cannot make a run to the Final Four. The Tar Heels, if they win the ACC tourney, will likely (IMHO) deserve to be the No. 1 overall seed. This is as good a matchup as you could hope to see in a month in Glendale, Arizona. The two teams split their ACC contests in the past month, each winning at home. Have fun.