by John Walters

 

Starting Five

Perfect 10

In the American Athletic Conference final, UConn’s Katie Lou Samuelson attempted 10 three-pointers and made 10 three-pointers. Samuelson, who gets my vote as the Naismith Award winner (sorry to that other Husky, Kelsey Plum…who like Samuelson is also from southern California), finished with a career-high 40 points and took her final bow with 2 minutes remaining in the third quarter.

The Huskies won 100-44 to move to 32-0.

Samuelson was 6 of 6 from the free throw line, but did miss two of four shots from inside the arc. Not a bad night.

2. Ban Width

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXvNHbE-yek

Interesting that the White House rolled out a new immigration ban (“Iraq, will you accept this rose?”) on the same day that Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Ben Carson, whom I firmly believe spent some time in the Armitage basement after undergoing hypnosis (in my SI days they would’ve taken out this reference because the men who were the age I am now wouldn’t have understood it), said, “There were other immigrants who came in the bottom of slave ships who worked even harder, even longer for less…” Yes. They were called slaves. And if by “less,” you mean “nothing,’ then yes.

3. Should the U.S.A. Invade Mexico? (It’s Not As If We Have Not Done So Before)

Take a look at a present-day map of Mexico (above).

Now think about what Donald Trump is proposing with his $21 billion WALL (we’ve all dealt with contractors, let’s go ahead and conservatively hike that up to $30 billion) .

Now consider that the closest point in the U.S.A. to Mexico City—Brownsville, Texas—is approximately 500 miles to the north. So, draw a straight line across due west from Brownsville to the Gulf of Mexico.

Now, look at this map of Mexico in 1821:

So, as “U.S. Americans” whine about Mexicans coming into “our country” to take our jobs, maybe it’s not a bad idea to have a little historical perspective. For the most part, their just wandering into what was their country that we either bought or stole from them. And since we’ve done such a good job economically in California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, etc., who’s to say we couldn’t do wonders for the northern one-third of the current nation of Mexico.

Would Mexicans really leave Mexico in droves if they could work good jobs in their hometowns? I’m no Milton Friedman, but if U.S. businesses could set up in northern Mexico as easily as they could in the States, if Americans could own land there beholden not to Mexican laws but to U.S. law, wouldn’t they invest? Have you been to northern Mexico? It’s sunny and flanked by water on both sides. Look what we’ve done with Arizona. There’s a Scottsdale just waiting to happen in northern Mexico (and Puerto Penasco, a.k.a. Rocky Point, would become the next Vegas if we legalized gambling).

It wouldn’t be a hostile invasion. No military need come. Just make the dollar the unit of currency and install U.S. laws and allow the people there to stay and become citizens if they like (they’d have to pay taxes). Within a decade that area would have its act together, we’d have almost eliminated the illegal immigrant problem, and Mexico would probably be thanking us. Most of the Mexican population lives south of there, anyway. It’s currently mostly a no-man’s land.

And we wouldn’t even claim it on our map. It would sort of be this shaded-in area hat we’re foster-parenting for the government of Mexico. And we’d be saving $30 billion.

The problem, after all, isn’t illegal immigration. It’s an unstable economic and societal situation in Mexico. Fix that, and there’s not much reason for them to want to move north, anyway. Mexico’s nice. It’s sunny and they have cheap tacos. Hell, I’d go.

4. Twin Falls Idaho Rhode Island

I’m not sure if I’d call this tragic as much as I might, All part of God’s plan. On Friday evening 97 year-old twin sisters Martha Williams and Jean Haley dined together at Haley’s home in Barrington, Rhode Island. Williams apparently slipped and fell in the driveway on the way to her car (she still drove???). Apparently, as Haley ran into the house to call 911, she slipped and fell in the garage, possibly on a rug.

It was extremely cold in the northeast on Friday. Both sisters died, apparently freezing to death. I mean, yeah, that’s sad, but twin sisters lived 97 years and were both born and died within five minutes of each other. That’s kind of divine, no?

5. Farewell, Robert Osborne

If you are a fan of TCM (and why wouldn’t you be??? Don’t you like movies???), then you know of Robert Osborne, who died over the weekend at the age of 84. The silver-foxed film historian was the genial and knowledgeable host who provided countless bits of tid about the films we were watching as an intro and an afterword (back in the day, movie hosts were common; they’ve become nearly extinct, which is too bad).

Osborne, the host at TCM since it began in 1994, was a former acting hopeful who was mentored by Lucille Ball and actually had a credit for appearing in The Beverly Hillbillies. He was a true film aficionado, writing several books about the Oscars and film in general and would’ve been welcome at my erstwhile annual “Johndance Film Festival,” where friends would bring movies (all for one, who’d insist that we use her time slot to watch figure skating). Some day we’ll re-up the JFF (as soon as I have friends again).

Wait, how did we turn this nice Robert Osborne tribute into something about me? I blame you.

Music 101

Back On My Feet Again

In the late Seventies/early Eighties The Babys felt like a decent soft-punk band who put out a few solid garage-rock hits (this, “Every Time I Think of You,” “Turn and Walk Away”). Then lead singer John Waite started wearing eyeliner and went solo and began singing Top 40 schmaltz pop hit that are probably still being played on South Bend FM radio today. This song reached No. 33 on the Billboard chart in 1979.

Reserves

Dave Doesn’t Hold Back

One of our secular saints, David Letterman, spoke to Vulture.com and did not hold back on his opinion of Trump and where the country is headed. Good read. Thanks to our faitfhul Canadian correspondent, Moose, for the heads up. 

Remote Patrol

This Is Us

9 p.m. NBC

The season finale. I haven’t at all gotten into this show, pleading the Sheryl Crow Defense: “Can’t Cry Anymore.” But people I like like it, and this is a Milo Ventimiglia-friendly site, so you should watch it. But in case you also have an aversion to feelings, the West Coast Conference title game (SMC vs. Gonzaga) is on at 9 p.m. on ESPN and The Night Of The Iguana, with Richard Burton and Ava Gardner, airs at 8 p.m on TCM>