Starting Five
1. Fail Mary or Golden Taint? And this all may have been avoided if Green Bay Packer defensive back M.D. Jennings (who is not a real doctor) had simply batted down the pass instead of attempting to make an interception. Sure, easy for us to say now.
Wondering whether any Seattle-ite has witnessed in person both perfect games as well as the Fail Mary this year.
2. Perhaps the NFL will at least realize that a replay official may be permitted, in extreme circumstances such as a play that occurs in the final two minutes of the game, to employ common sense to overturn a call. For example, penalizing noted maple bar aficionado Golden Tate for his blatant offensive pass interference. We could call this new by-law “The Golden Rule.”
3. Our favorite non-knuckleball pitcher, Kris Medlen, did not get the win last night but his team, the Atlanta Braves did, on Freddie Freeman’s jog-off homer (we mean, they don’t actually walk, do they?) The Braves clinch a wildcard playoff position while winning for the 22nd consecutive time when Medlen starts.
4. Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to address the United Nations general assembly today in New York City (technically, the U.N. is not located in New York City — see, we listened during the tour — even though it is), a metropolis with a fair number of Jewish citizens, on the holiest date on the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur. To give you an idea of how offensive this is to many people, this is like having Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speak in New York City on Yom Kippur. See: yesterday’s New York Post cover.
5. It looks as if Washington, D.C., will now become the nation’s leading producer of pork by default. Aporkalypse >>> Bacongeddon.
The Bench
We may have had a shrine like this once (and if we did, it was garnished with glitter and fresh rose petals).
NICO CALABRIA! One-legged Massachusetts teen scores goal in a high school soccer game. Pretty tremendous. And, yes, our money is on Nico in an ass-kicking contest.
Peter King gets to the heart of the issue separating the NFL and its officials on SI.com. Ironically, the league would argue, it is holding out on making a deal because it is insisting on being able to upgrade refereeing in season if the quality of officiating is subpar. If you do not understand why that is ironic, ask your high school English teacher.
Classic Snickers ad takes place, sort of, in real life at the University of Minnesota-Crookston. Not going anywhere for awhile?
“Great googly moogly!”
Conan O’Brien: “Who the hell is Elisabeth Hasselbeck? She didn’t even win ‘Survivor’! She came in, like, fifth!” (We would add that she is married to, like, the third-best football playing Hasselbeck in the Hasselbeck clan.)
The CEO of Radio Shack, James Gooch, steps down. Wouldn’t it have been great if in his farewell address Gooch said, “Nobody buys $%&* radios any more! That’s a problem!”
Breaking: Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o makes the cover of Sports Illustrated, the first Irish player to make the cover of SI since August of 2006. Irish Irrelevancy Update for Rick Reilly: Te’o on cover of SI, Golden Tate currently appearing on continuous loop on ESPN.
Former Los Angeles Dodger closer Eric Gagne says that he and 80% of his teammates used PEDs, steroids. The rest, we presume, were known as “utility infielders.”
Notre Dame dumps Michigan, but will still play the Wolverines next season and in 2014. It’s a little like when Brad and Jennifer flew to Anguilla to hang out together before going their separate ways.
Today’s thought: There’s no pot in pot roast.
Hey! Who’s the hottest mom in college football? Busted Coverage claims that it is Cynthia Zordich, mother of Buffalo football player Alex Zordich. We were sort of hoping it would be the mom of a BYU or Washington State Cougar.
While we are on the topic, tangentially, Jennifer Montana is still a college football mom and this week her son, Nate, was named the West Virginia Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (WVIAC) Player of the Week. Nate Montana completed 37 passes for 413 yards to ten different receivers in West Virginia Wesleyan’s win.
So, if you’ve been keeping score this morning, Conan O’Brien likes Erin Brunette, dislikes Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
She probably registers high on the Andy Richter Scale, too
“Hey, John and Billy, we love the new site, but how come you guys never have any video of rampaging squirrels in Germany?” Good question. Done.
Both Milwaukee’s Ryan Braun and Detroit’s Miguel Cabrera lead in two of baseball’s three Triple Crown categories and both find themselves within striking distance in the third category as of today. The Brewers’ Braun leads the Senior Circuit in home runs (40) and RBI (108; tied, actually) and is fifth in batting at .317. Miggy leads the American League in batting average (.326), and RBI (133) and trails Josh Hamilton by one in home runs (42). The last time both the NL and the AL had Triple Crown winners in the same season? The year was 1933, with Chuck Klein of the Phillies and Jimmie Foxx of the Athletics, both of which were Philadelphia-based franchises.
Rocky Top, Messy Bottoms. The University of Tennessee suspends Pi Kappa Alpha after a few pledges are rushed to the hospital after receiving alcohol enemas. “When I said, ‘Straight up’, that’s not what I meant.”