by John Walters

Starting Five

There Goes That Man

Two words that President Barack Obama never uttered during his nearly 50-minute speech? “Donald Trump” (or, for that matter, “golden showers”).

Here are a few things he did say (some as if he were speaking directly to Trump and his cronies):

On overdoing the War on Terror: “Democracy can buckle when we give in to fear. So just as we, as citizens, must remain vigilant against external aggression, we must guard against a weakening of the values that make us who we are.”

On health care: “And I’ve said, and I mean it, anyone can put together a plan that is demonstrably better than the improvements we’ve made to our health care system, that covers as many people at less cost, I will publicly support it. Because that, after all, is why we serve. Not to score points or take credit. But to make people’s lives better.”

On capitalism run amok: “While the top 1 percent has amassed a bigger share of wealth and income, too many of our families in inner cities and in rural counties have been left behind.” (Editor’s Note: I don’t know why people don’t take this more seriously; we’re headed toward a feudal society)

On Trump-ism, without directly calling it that: “If every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hardworking white middle class and an undeserving minority, then workers of all shades are going to be left fighting for scraps while the wealthy withdraw further into their private enclaves.”

On the issues that will continually confront Trump: “As my grandmother used to say, reality has a way of catching up to you.”

On immigrants: “For native-born Americans, it means reminding ourselves that the stereotypes about immigrants today were said, almost word for word, about the Irish, and Italians, and Poles, who it was said were going to destroy the fundamental character of America. And as it turned out, America wasn’t weakened by the presence of these newcomers; these newcomers embraced this nation’s creed, and this nation was strengthened.”

On climate change: “Without bolder action, our children won’t have time to debate the existence of climate change. They’ll be busy dealing with its effects… Now we can and should argue about the best approach to solve the problem. But to simply deny the problem not only betrays future generations, it betrays the essential spirit of this country, the essential spirit of innovation and practical problem-solving that guided our founders.”

On a fact the GOP hates to admit is true: “No foreign terrorist organization has successfully planned and executed an attack on our homeland these past eight years.”

On social media: “If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the Internet, try talking with one of them in real life.”

A quick anecdote. The day after Obama was elected, I was at my favorite neighborhood restaurant, La Caridad. Two black men were waiting for a to-go order and the first said, “Can you believe he won?” to which the second said, “Now how long until they kill him?”

It’s a relief and a mild surprise that the first African-American president not only survived four years in office, but eight. That he did so with his dignity and integrity intact, without a whisper of scandal, well, that must just destroy the racists who are so eager to see him depart. He did it, though. If he didn’t exactly win the Indy 500 in terms of every policy, remember that he spent eight years driving the car with Mitch McConnell pressing down on the emergency brake. More than a great man, he was a good and decent man. We’ll not see his like in the White House for at least four more years. Most likely longer. Speaking of which…

2. Golden Taint

From Newsweek…

The story began making the rounds at Washington dinner parties late last summer: Donald Trump had been caught in a compromising sexual position by Russian intelligence agents during a business trip to Moscow. 

According to one version, told by a high-ranking Obama administration diplomat, Russian intelligence services, acting on Trump’s well-known obsession with sex, had arranged an evening for him with a bevy of hookers, with hidden cameras and microphones recording all the action. The jaw-dropping detail that topped the story? Trump had somehow engaged in “golden showers,” sex acts involving urine. 

Now, according to a leaked annex to the combined U.S. intelligence agencies’ report on Kremlin intrigues in the American elections, Russian security agents watched Trump engaging in “perverted sexual acts” that were “arranged/monitored by the FSB,” the Kremlin’s leading spy agency. The FSB, it said, “employed a number of  prostitutes to perform a golden showers (urination) show in front of him.” Not only that, according to the report’s anonymous Russian sources, Trump deliberately chose for his escapade “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”

 

Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to “leak” into the public. One last shot at me.Are we living in Nazi Germany?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 11, 2017

Now, let’s look at Donald Trump’s SEVEN tweets since this came out (originally reported last night by Buzzfeed). Notice that he never denies any of this directly. Instead, he just says “Fake News!” or “Witch Hunt!” or that he’s never been to Prague, which isn’t Moscow, but whatevs. This is the same man who for years pushed lies that Obama was born outside the U.S. and who also claimed that Ted Cruz’s padre was involved in the JFK assassination. Now he’s asking if we’re living in “Nazi Germany” because he for once is on the other end of it.

3. Angela’s Assets

If you’ve seen La La Land, allow me to introduce you to Angela Parrish, the musician who actually sings the female vocals on the opening number, “Another Day of Sun.” The reason we love Angela is because her personal story mirrors that of both leads in the film (she actually plays jazz piano six nights per week at two different restaurants; sound like anyone familiar?).

The scene was shot six months before she ever was hired to lay down the vocals for the track, by the way.

4. The James Gang

James Harden last night: 40 points, 15 rebounds and 10 assists. The Rockets launch nearly 50% of their shots from beyond the arc and win to move to 31-9. They’re basically on pace to finish 64-18 and no one’s saying it, but Mike D’Antoni’s “Seven Seconds or Less” offense is alive and well deep in the heart of Texas.

Also: Cleveland lost 100-92 at Utah. Bizarrely, LeBron James is 5-9 all-time in Salt Lake City (some notes are added simply to chide Susie B. into commenting).

5. Bono-roo?

Last week, it was Coachella (April), with headliners Radiohead, Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar.

This week: U2 announced it will be playing The Joshua Tree in its entirety on tour this summer (Why not just reach into my savings account, Bono, and take what you like?). Probably my favorite album, so yeah, you got me, Dubliners.

Bonnaroo (June): U2, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Weeknd.

BottleRock (in Napa Valley, in late May ): Tom Petty, Foo Fighters, Maroon 5.

Not a bad spring and summer of music.

Music 101

Girlfriend In A Coma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT4_BQFbCQQ

Thank God for The Smiths. Are there any artists around now who are as clever, dark and still melodic as Morrissey and his mates were? Okay, sure, a few hip-hop artists, but Phyllis can’t listen to that. This song reached No. 13 on the UK charts in 1987. Never charted in the US, but was popular in Dillon Hall in the fall of ’87.

Remote Patrol

Psycho

TCM 8 p.m.

 

This is not only Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece, it’s also his comeback hit (if you haven’t seen the film Hitchcock, it tells the backstory and has ScarJo plus Mrs. Timberlake, so what are you waiting for?). I like that the 1960 film starts in Phoenix with a female embezzler who decides to go on the run. I always imagine the Bates Motel being located somewhere between Blythe and L.A.