by John Walters

 

Starting Five

60 Points in 29 Minutes

Imagine what Klay Thompson might have done last night had Steve Kerr played him in the fourth quarter. The sixth-year Warrior became, by my count, the 24th different NBA player to put up 60 points in one game, but the first to ever do so playing fewer than 30 minutes. That’s nuts. The last Golden State Warrior to post 60 in a contest? Rick Barry in 1974, who was also an unconscious shooter.

You can call Thompson the third- (or even fourth-) best Warrior if you want. Two of his teammates own the last three NBA MVP awards, after all. But in Thompson’s five-plus years since leaving Wazzu, the son of a former No. 1 overall draft pick (Mychal Thompson) has put together an NBA-record 37-point quarter and, last night, a 40-point first half.

And I love Thompson’s reply last summer when he was asked how he’d have to change his game to accommodate the addition of new teammate Kevin Durant: “I ain’t changing sh*t.”

The other thing I love about him? His first name could be the call letters for an easy-listening FM station in Los Angeles.

2. Just Endure The Suffering

Colts 41, Jets 10 on Monday Night Football. If only New York had drafted Christian Hackenberg.

And is it me, or has Jon Gruden emotionally checked out? If I’m Jack Swarbrick, maybe I kick the tires there.

3. Called On the Matt

So NBC’s Today Show landed the first morning show interview with Derek Almena, the 47 year-old father of three who managed the Ghost Ship warehouse space where at least 36 people perished on Friday night.

Lauer went directly for the kill shot, opening with: “Are you the man who should be held accountable?”  Watch the video in the link here.

4. The $400 Million Man?

*The judges will also accept “Harper’s Bizarre Salary Demand”

Bryce Harper wants the Washington Nationals to sign him for one-tenth the cost of the order that Donald Trump just canceled with Boeing. Is he worth it? Hey, it’s not your money (unless you have ESPN or Fox on cable, which you do, in which case it kinda is).

Harper wants $400 million over ten years. In his defense, he was woefully underpaid last season at $5 million per. In five full Major League seasons Harper has earned less than $13 million despite winning Rookie of the Year AND one NL MVP award.  At least NINETY players earned more in 2016 than Harper, one of the two or three best position players in the game, has earned in his career. And he just turned 24 years old.

So I’m going Teddy KGB on this: “Pay the man. Pay that man his money.”

5. Eight Is Enough

Whether we here at the Medium Happy Department of Caring Obsessively About College Football like it or not, there’s just so much momentum building in the broadcast media (which is very good at coercing the populace into making poor decisions, if you hadn’t noticed) for an eight-team playoff, that it seems inexorable.

Our main complaint is we don’t see a correlation between desiring the four (or even eight) best teams in the nation to be in a national playoff and giving conference champs an automatic bye, particularly when that conference championship game invite is based solely on your intra-conference record. Do we need an 8-5 team in the national playoff? Because that’s conceivable.

If it were to happen, though, here are my ground rules/suggestions:

1) You cannot play a I-AA school and be eligible for the playoff.

2) You cannot play in excess of seven home games and be eligible for the playoff (Mr. Harbaugh). A neutral site game counts as half a road game. And half a home game.

3) A team that follows the above two rules AND finishes undefeated is automatically in (the Group of 5 Rule).

4). Any Group of 5 team that finishes in the Top 16 is automatically in.

5) Scrap all conference championship games. You win your conference based on intra-conference record, then head to head, then strength of out-of-conference schedule. In place of those conference games, that weekend, come the quarterfinals. At the favored school’s home site.

Any questions? Suggestions?

Music 101

In The Year 2525

We’ve been doing this section for nearly two years, and have yet to cover this song??? What’s wrong with us?!? This is a 1969 tune by one-hit wonders Zager and Evans. In 1969, which boasted all-time classic No. 1 hits such as “Come Together” (The Beatles), “Suspicious Minds” (Elvis), “Wedding Bell Blues” (The Fifth Dimension), “Age of Aquarias/Let the Sun Shine” (also The Fifth Dimension) and “Good Morning Starshine” (Oliver), THIS bleak futuristic song (“In the year 2525/If man is still alive…”) by the Nebraska duo stayed at No. 1 the longest. Six weeks. That opening question no longer seems rhetorical, does it?

Remote Patrol

The Crown 
Netflix

We finally finished Season 1. It’s excellent. This is a history lesson of the British monarchy just before and after World War II, with outstanding work by Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth, Jon Lithgow as Winston Churchill and others. It’s basically Dynasty or Dallas with better accents, but it all (mostly) really happened. The production values and attention to detail are outstanding. Stick around for Episode 4 (Act of God) and Episode 9 (Assassins). I promise, you’ll love it.