by John Walters
Starting Five
Fire On The Mountain
There’s a 500-acre wildfire blazing in eastern Tennessee, near the North Carolina border, in the Great Smoky Mountains. Dollywood is under some threat. It doesn’t help that the southeast is experiencing its worst drought in a more than a decade.
Officials suspect arson, in case you were wondering if we had a candidate for our new daily item, “What The Hell Is Wrong With People?”
2. What The Hell Is Wrong With People?
Okay, so there’s more than one nominee today. An 18 year-old freshman at Ohio State drove his vehicle into a crowd, got out, and then began stabbing people. A Somali immigrant who posted on Facebook that he was “sick and tired” of seeing fellow Muslims “killed and tortured,” the student stabbed 11 people, none fatally, before a campus cop shot him dead.
I have no idea nor do I care, as the cable and network news stations like to report, “if this was terror.” It’s a meaningless construct. Also, I have no idea how this will affect the right-to-knife movement.
3. Twitter: A Weapon of Mass Distraction
This was Donald’s most recent tweet this morning…
Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag – if they do, there must be consequences – perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 29, 2016
I don’t doubt he believes this. I also don’t doubt that he fails to understand the First Amendment. I think a better, fictitious American president, Andrew Shepherd, explained why Donald is wrong on this one (1:35). This was Aaron Sorkin’s first attack, 20 years ago, on Trump, even though at the time he had no idea which vile politician Bob Rumson actually was going to represent (turned out it was Cheney and Trump).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCliHGQy8-w
More importantly, from what is the Wizard of Trump Tower trying to distract us? From yet another divisive cabinet selection? And when that tweet inspires an uptick of flag burners, Trump will call them “losers” and create an even more divisive country. Well done.
4. Pahranagat Falls
Spring Mountain, after losing last year’s state championship game to Pahranagat
It happened more than a week ago, but the longest win streak in high school football history came to an end in Las Vegas, Nevada. Pahranagat Valley High School, which plays eight-man football, lost to its rival, Spring Mountain, 68-46, in the I-A state championship game. Spring Mountain only led 40-38 entering the final quarter, then broke away for the win.
What makes this rivalry so interesting, as I wrote about last year, is how different both schools are. Pahranagat is a closely knit, isolated Mormon town going back generations. The kids start playing football together in second grade and they run the same system all the way up through high school.
Spring Mountain is equally isolated, but for a different reason: it’s a juvenile detention facility located in the mountains northwest of Las Vegas. Most of the players are only there for one school year and many of them come from broken homes.
Pahranagat is exclusively white. Spring Mountain is almost entirely minorities.
Side note: One week earlier Division III Mount Union’s 112-game regular season win streak was also snapped, by John Carroll University. Mount Union has made it to the D-3 quarterfinals, though, and it faces Alfred (a school, not a butler) this Saturday.
5. No Ordinary Joe (etc).
This, by the way, is the only home uniform the Browns should ever wear
Two prodigious NFL streaks to make note of before we get any further into this week:
- Cleveland Browns tackle Joe Thomas, a first round pick in 2007, recently played his 10,000th consecutive snap. The former Wisconsin Badger has never missed a snap in his career. What makes this Gehrig-ian feat somewhat tragic is that in nearly 10 seasons, Thomas has never taken a single snap in a playoff game. The Browns, currently 0-12, are 47-109 in his career. Their only winning season came in his rookie year, when they finished 10-6 but missed out on the playoffs due to a tiebreaker (the 10-6 Titans got the last spot). Thomas has lined up with 18 different Browns starting quarterbacks behind him.
Tucker, a former undrafted free agent, played at the University of Texas
- Kicker Justin “Updog” Tucker of the Baltimore Ravens hit four field goals on Sunday, including three from beyond 50 yards in the first half (the first NFL player to ever do that). Tucker has now connected on 34 consecutive field goals (the league record is 44, by Adam Vinatieri) and has yet to miss a PAT or field goal this season. In the strike shortened 1982 season, Washington Redskins kicker Mark Moseley became the only NFL special teams player to be named league MVP. Moseley made 21 of 22 field goals, at the time a league record for successful percentage.
Music 101
When Will I Be Loved
In 1975 Linda Ronstadt covered this Everly Brothers song, originally released in 1960, and turned it into a No. 2 hit. The only thing keeping it from reaching No. 1 was The Captain & Tenille’s monster hit “Love Will Keep Us Together” (it didn’t). This tune belongs on any compilation hit of 1970s signature tunes or at least on the soundtrack of a Paul Thomas Anderson film.
Remote Patrol
Gilmore Girls
NetFlix
Spoiler alerts aplenty, as I have finished this four-part series: Considering the names of the four episodes, why didn’t Carole King get up and bang out, “Winter, spring, summer or fall/All you got to do is call….” (she wrote it; James Taylor only covered it)? The letter that Emily referred to in that therapy session that was purportedly received on her birthday…they never came back to that. Was that a reference to an old episode that I forgot? How did Rory buzz in and out of London as if she were simply heading to New London, and where was she getting the money to live that entire year (she never had a paying job)? How great were Emily, Paris, Kirk and Michel throughout, and when did Bootsy get so many lines? Why did they give Luke a toupee? Was Mitchell Huntzberger right all along (“You don’t got it”)? You think Jess has been lifting? If you never again see the Life and Death Brigade, do you agree that it will be too soon? Also, finally, I counted the pop culture references: at least 250 in the four episodes.
In 1984, as Dallas hosted the Republican National Convention, a man named Gregory Lee Johnson stood in front of Dallas City Hall, unfurled the American flag, doused it with kerosene, and set it on fire. While the flag burned, anti-Reagan protestors chanted, “America, the red, white, and blue, we spit on you.” Johnson was arrested and charged with “desecration of a venerated object” in violation of a Texas statute. After a trial, he was convicted, sentenced to one year in prison, and fined $2,000. The case made its way to the U.S Supreme Court, where Johnson argued that the flag-burning law violated his rights under the First Amendment.
The State of Texas’s argument to the Supreme Court was that its law was in the interest of preserving the flag as a symbol of nationhood and national unity. In a nutshell, the State argued that the American flag, because of its 200-year history and tremendous symbolism, was entitled to special protection that outweighed Johnson’s First Amendment rights. The act of burning an American flag, argued Texas, was too harmful for the First Amendment to protect it.
The Supreme Court rejected this argument and threw out Johnson’s conviction as unconstitutional. The words of the Supreme Court were as follows:
“Forbidding criminal punishment for conduct such as Johnson’s will not endanger the special role played by our flag or the feelings it inspires … [W]e submit that nobody can suppose that this one gesture of an unknown man will change our Nation’s attitude towards its flag … We are tempted to say, in fact, that the flag’s deservedly cherished place in our community will be strengthened, not weakened, by our holding today. Our decision is a reaffirmation of the principles of freedom and inclusiveness that the flag best reflects, and of the conviction that our toleration of criticism such as Johnson’s is a sign and source of our strength. Indeed, one of the proudest images of our flag, the one immortalized in our own national anthem, is of the bombardment it survived at Fort McHenry. It is the Nation’s resilience, not its rigidity, that Texas sees reflected in the flag — and it is that resilience that we reassert today. The way to preserve the flag’s special role is not to punish those who feel differently about these matters. It is to persuade them that they are wrong … And, precisely because it is our flag that is involved, one’s response to the flag-burner may exploit the uniquely persuasive power of the flag itself. We can imagine no more appropriate response to burning a flag than waving one’s own, no better way to counter a flag burner’s message than by saluting the flag that burns, no surer means of preserving the dignity even of the flag that burned than by — as one witness here did — according its remains a respectful burial. We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration, for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents.”
Fer eff’s sake. This is the second time I’ve had to write this because my internet is so bad. Why is my life so challenging?? Why don’t I live in Stars Hollow??
Me and Mine luuurved the Netflix GG revival. Some of it was indeed because it provided me with a way to snuggle up with my 15-year-old for 7 hours, and anything with that kind of power gets a yes vote from me. I endured Sicario just because my 18-year-old son was willing to sit next to me on the couch for 2 hours (was it really only 2 hours?) while it was on.
But yes–too much Life and Death Brigade, too much weird town musical (despite my love for Sutton F and Christian B), Luke’s toop was a literal head-scratcher and the letter-whaaaa??? And I, too, questioned how Rory was living like a one-percenter that whole year.
Dean has aged best of all the menfolk. Dean! (cat noise!) Logan–blech. As slick, off-putting and unreliable as Christopher, which is why the ending was so completely perfect. (It’s NOT THE WOOKIE’S.)
All the dead grampa stuff was lovely and heart-wrenching. Emily’s journey was true and grand. The Wild, book or movie bit–yes! I loved all the cameos from Parenthood and Bunheads.
And lastly, TEAM JESS. Omigod Team Jess all the way. Jess with his air-lats, fake job and dirty, old school, non-wheelied, military-surplus-store-issued duffel bag and longing looks of love….TEAM JESS!
“Get a better phone!”
“Get a better office!”
“Get a better attitude!”
“Get a better life!”
“Get lost!”
“Get…Shorty!”
That was maybe my favorite moment. Meanwhile, maybe Mitchell Huntzberger, as much of a jackass as he is, was right: “You don’t have it, kid.”
And you’re right, Katie. Rory did not make a Wookie mistake. Will discuss more tomorrow, but we know whose kid that is, and we believe in the circle of life and, hey, who was the good friend who suggested to Rory she write a book about her mom and herself? Yup.
I haven’t seen the GG miniseries but is it mentioned if Rory inherited money from Grandpa Richard? And THAT is why maybe she was able to fly back & forth to London & keep living pretty well while unemployed?
Also, I read a sort of review on The Ringer yesterday & one of the writers bitched that Richard couldn’t have been that rich working in insurance. Well, his mother was LOADED & he was the only child, so I’m assuming he inherited quite a bit from her. Thoughts?
And jdubs, I just saw that you have written (be still my heart) a 4-part GG recap/review at Newsweek. Whoo-hooo! I’ll have some good reading tonight! 🙂
Also, no matter what, Mitchell was not then & will NEVER be CORRECT!
One of my favorite moments of the entire originals series was when Emily gave it to Mrs Huntzberger at that party after she & Richard FINALLY realized/accepted how Rory had been treated by the Huntzbergers. It was only then that I finally accepted that Lorelai had NOT been adopted.