by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Uh O’s*

*The judges will also accept “The Buck Stopped Here”

The Orioles lose in 11 innings. The Blue Jays, thanks to a three-run walk-off home run rocket launched by Edwin Incarnation, live to see another series. The larger story is that Oriole manager Buck Showalter never even takes his most reliable weapon, American League saves leader Zach Britton, out of his holster. Ubaldo Jimenez, who entered with one out in the 11th, allowed two singles to left and then the coup de grace on the first pitch he threw to Incarnation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7460TJ5G__k

“Nobody has been pitching better for us than Ubaldo,” said Showalter, displaying an acute case of Larussa-itis. Britton was perfect in 47 save opportunities this season. Sure, this was not a save situation, but Showalter rolled the dice, hoping to take the lead in the top of the inning and then having Britton at his disposal to slam the door shut. Problem is, it never advanced to that moment.

2. Recom-Pence

In the vice presidential debate at “Norwood” University, Mike Pence made up some of the ground his running mate lost one week earlier. Showing Donald how it’s done, Pence won the folksiness and less-annoying categories over Tim Kaine, even if he flatly denied many an assertion Kaine made about his running mate that he knew to be true. The Indiana governor also made “There you go pulling out that Mexican thing again” a thing.

“@Jnelson52722: @realDonaldTrump @Susiesentinel Kaine looks like an evil crook out of the Batman movies”

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 5, 2016

Pence repeatedly referred to the Clinton-Kaine ticket as “an insult-driven campaign,” which he did with such warmth and sincerity that you almost forgot how ironic those words were coming from the mouth of Donald Trump’s running mate. In fact, Trump was hurling insults on Twitter in real time as Pence was denying that Trump insults people.

3. Carter—Graydon, Not Jimmy—Trashes Trump

If you read one thing all week (besides Medium Happy, of course), this Vanity Fair column by its chief editor, Graydon Carter, on Trump must be it.

Two quick asides referring to Carter’s introductory anecdote: 1) One of my closest friends sat with Trump and Marla Maples during a boxing match in the same era that anecdote occurred. He recalled at the time how Trump was telling him, a journalist, about Marla’s physical attributes while comparing them against other females in attendance.

2) In the year that Vendela Kirsebom appeared on the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue, she came into our offices for a reception. We were all invited to take a photo with her, just not one at a time. I posed with two friends, fellow reporters Tim Crothers and J.B. Morris. We were all in our early 20s. Later I cropped my two friends out of the photo, and sent the pic of Vendela and I out as my Christmas card. A few relatives phoned my parents, not knowing who my “new girlfriend” was.

(See, J.B., you made it!)

4. Stop, Thief

Wild story from Minnesota: the University of Arizona cross-country team was one of many that descended on the Twin Cities for the Ray Griak Invitational. A thief broke into one of their hotel rooms, but a Wildcat harrier, Collins Kibet, spotted him and gave chase. You can guess what happened from there. The best moment was when the thief, who had taken some bags and a wallet, threw a wallet at the runners who had cornered him, hoping they’d let him go if he returned the wallet: the problem was that he tossed them his own wallet.

5. Tower

The first mass school shooting in the USA occurred 50 years ago at the University of Texas, when a sniper took aim from atop the clock tower on campus (I know: odd that a gunman would shoot someone from atop a building in Texas). Fifteen people died and 33 were wounded on that hot August day. Now comes a documentary that is partially animated. Out next week in theaters. Seems intriguing.

 

Music 101

Daydream Believer

Cheer up, sleepy Jean! There was a reason The Monkees were a monster success in the latter half of the Sixties: they wrote bright, textured hits, baby! This was a synthetic band, arguably the first boy band: the idea for the band predated the musicians knowing one another. The original idea was for a television show, which happened, and you’ll notice how the band’s name, with one letter misspelled, reminds you of another pop-driven foursome of the time. Three of the members were American but lead singer Davy Jones was British. The song went to No. 1 for four weeks at the end of 1967 and early ’68.

Remote Patrol

Giants at Mets

8 p.m. ESPN

MadBum versus Thor, a.k.a. Noah Syndergaard (above). Kind of a great pitching matchup. Just three nights after Kanye cut short his concert at Citi Field, one of these two men will cut short the other team’s season. As you probably know, besides being mostly average the past six years or so, the Giants won the World Series in 2010, 2012 and 2014. So, yeah….