by John Walters

Question: What do January 16th, February 8th, April 4th and today have in common?

Starting Five

1. The Mosquito Coast

Down in Miami, more cases of the Zika virus are being reported, and I don’t know why we don’t just build a wall to keep them out. The Miami Herald reports 10 new cases locally in the artsy area known as Wynwood, and while no one seems to die from Zika, potential side effects include microcephaly (in the babies of infected moms). Also, the disease is transmitted sexually.

Maybe Congress would be more concerned if we referred to the insects as “radicalized mosquitoes.” Anyway, the fun will really begin after the Olympics, when people from six different continents return home from ground zero of Zika, Brazil.

2. Bone Spurious

I’ve been mentioning this ever since Donald Trump denied that John McCain was a war hero more than a year ago, but today The New York Times takes a deep dive on Trump’s ability to avoid serving in Vietnam. Turns out he lied….a lot. I know. If you avoided serving in Vietnam, that’s cool. Maybe, though, you shouldn’t be the guy who gets to be commander-in-chief of the U.S. armed forces.

Meanwhile, Eric Trump appeared on CBS This Morning earlier today and that interview was a doozy. Not once but twice he referred to the “three of us at this table” even though the table included Charlie Rose, Gayle King, Nora O’Donnell and himself. Was this a Super Troopers “meow” move in which he was trying to see how often he could get away with not including Gayle (yes, I’m assuming) before someone called him on it. Eric also stated that his sister, Ivanka, “is a strong, powerful woman. She would not allow herself to be subjected to (sexual harassment),” which casually implies that it’s a woman’s fault for being sexually harassed while ignoring that most females don’t have a daddy worth nine figures on whom to fall back.

What a douche.

Finally, Eric was asked if his father should apologize to Mrs. Khan, and his reply—twice—was that his father had called Captain Khan a “hero,” which of course is not an apology. The implication: Donald Trump does not apologize to Muslims or women or both. Which his supporters love.

Favorite moment: Charlie Rose asks, “Who tells your father he’s wrong?”

3. The Purge: Pinstripes

In the past week the New York Yankees have traded away their three best players, two of them All-Stars (pitcher Andrew Miller, Indians; outfielder Carlos Beltran, who is 39, Rangers) and one of them the owner of baseball’s most lethal arm (Aroldis Chapman, Cubs). I was against this two weeks ago, but I’ve done a 180 on it. This is how you tank to improve in baseball, and these Yanks have too anemic an offense to go very far.

The Bronx Embalmers did have a nice little extra-innings comeback win versus the Mets at Citi Field last night to move to 53-52 (if they win tonight, they’ll have an identical record with the Mets), but it’s clearly time to rebuild.

So why pay attention? The last time the Yanks finished at or below .500 was 1992. Maintaining that streak would be cool.

4. Crossing Jordan (Off Your List of Bachelors) (For Now)

You know me: I try to avoid discussing reality shows, particularly dating reality shows. That’s Clay Travis’ territory. But when a gal chooses a guy whose older brother is a two-time NFL MVP and the league’s best quarterback under the age of Tom Brady, that’s noteworthy.

JoJo chose ex-CFL, ex-Vanderbilt QB  Jordan Rodgers, who’s a handsome dude and whose brother recently signed a five-year, $100 million contract with the Green Bay Packers. And if this wedding ever goest through (not happening), Olivia Munn will be her sister-in-law. So that’s quite the bonus.

5. Cemetery Bomb

HBO’s The Night Of does not overdo it as a whodunnit (There’s no Yellow King, no Carcosa), but the fourth episode did drop in one—rather obvious—clue as to who the real killer of Andrea Cornish is. During her funeral, recently relieved-of-his-duties defense attorney John Stone (John Turturro in possibly the best role of his career) watches from afar. After a brief confab with his nemesis, Detective Box (Bill Camp, who is every bit as good as Turturro in this series), Stone notices Andrea’s stepdad arguing with a young man closer to the age of the deceased. He appears to threaten the younger man. Box had already left by the time this happened.

Stone is doing Box’s job better than Box is. Stone is investigating a murder; Box, while every bit as smart and dedicated, is purely pursuing a conviction.

Someone on Twitter noted: The stepdad could very well have been the man on the motorcycle.

Music 101

I’m Amazed

The Louisville-based band My Morning Jacket struck it big with this medium-tempo bourbon rocker in 2008. Lead singer Jim James graduated from St. Xavier High School in that town. Rolling Stone is still hopelessly in love with this band, although it’s now batting its eyes at Alabama Shakes instead.

Remote Patrol

Bolgen (The Wave)

Netflix

Quite possibly the greatest Norwegian disaster film you’ll ever see! In the land of fjords, massive rock slides cause deadly tsunamis. Two incidents in the 20th century each claimed at least 40 lives, so the producers of this film imagined a present-day scenario. The one slightly off-putting aspect is, like those Godzilla films you’d watch as a kid, English-speaking voices have been dubbed in as opposed to sub-titles.