by John Walters

Starting Five

Donnie Loves Chachi*

Is Scott Baio a elite personality? The former Happy Days teen crush (“Chachi” became a euphemism  for “hottie”)is speaking on the first night of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland tonight. Wondering if the Dems will counter next week with Ted McGinley….

*props to tweep @artiehustle for that one

2. How Swede It Is

Phil Mickelson, at the age of 46, was vying to become the oldest winner of a British Open in the event’s 149 years. And on Sunday’s final round at Royal Troon, Lefty shot a six-under-par 65, his lowest score ever in the final round of a major. But Mickelson, whose winless streak is now at three years, was up against Henrik Stenson, a Swede who was in the midst of shooting the round of his life: a 63.

It’s the first win in a major for any Swede, while for Mickelson it’s perhaps the most difficult second place in a major of his career. “I played close to flawless golf and was beat,” Mickelson said Mickelson, who has won five majors (including the British Open in 2013) but has finished second or tied for second in majors 11 times. “It’s probably the best I’ve played and not won. But Henrik made 10 birdies, so what are you going to do?

3. Be Not Afraid

Go away for a couple of days and you fall behind on your Unspeakable Acts of Human Evil list. Last Thursday night a deranged (or “radicalized”) jerk plowed a truck into a crowd in Nice, France, that was celebrating Bastille Day, killing 80, and on Sunday a misbegotten soul shot three police officers dead in Baton Rouge. Good will always triumph over evil, but some weeks it sure seems as if it’s a neck-and-neck battle.

4. Poker’s Latest Bad Boy

Exactly 6,656 players have fallen from the Main Event (the game: Texas Hold ‘Em) at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Now just 80 remain, all of them vying for the $8 million grand prize (entry fee is $10,000 per person). Of those four score remaining, perhaps the most notorious is a British barrister named William Kassouf, who was given a taunting penalty from officials over the weekend after his opponent folded pocket queens after Kassouf, who was bluffing, went all in with dreck.

There are no women remaining in the field…

5. Mike Pence None-the-Richer

Busy weekend in NY! Enjoying a quick dinner with the family at @Chilis. Looking forward to getting back to Indiana. pic.twitter.com/SUFjYcvQpH

— Mike Pence (@mike_pence) July 16, 2016

Does it really matter that the presumptive GOP candidate dined at a Chili’s just off Times Square this weekend? No. Does it say something about either him or the voting base to whom he is trying to appeal? Yes.

On Saturday Mike Pence, the governor of Indiana, was in New York City to meet with his new boss (tweed), Donald Trump. Pence tweeted out a pic of himself and his family enjoying a meal at Chili’s, which, as chain restaurants go, is above par. Chili’s is a reliable spot when you find yourself on a three-hour layover at O’Hare or in Minneapolis; but in New York City, where you can literally dine at a different independently-owned restaurant each night for 40 years and where at least half of those are probably less expensive than Chili’s (and almost all are better), it’s a lot like going to the Louvre and choosing to look at a dogs playing poker on black velvet painting on your mobile phone INSTEAD of any of the featured art work.

And so, sure, to each his own. But for a man vying to become our next vice president, what if there’s a message being sent out to his constituents? What is the message is, “I may be in New York City, but I’m still eating at a place any of you could be eating at in your home town.” And what if I were to extrapolate that the greater message here is, You can take me to some place where life is different, but I’m just going to refuse to accept anything that I don’t already know. Which, when you think about it, is the FOX News and GOP platform for the past eight years, is it not?

Music 101

Song For Whoever

If you loved the Housemartins (“Think For A Minute”), as I did, then you probably have a space in your soul for The Beautiful South, the band that emerged from their breakup. The Hull-based group formed in 1988 after the Housemartins broke up, and this song reached No. 2 on the charts in the U.K. The Beautiful South broke up in 2007, citing “musical similarities.” Love that.

Remote Patrol

Republican National Convention

10 p.m. ABC, CBS, NBC

Childhood. I distinctly remember 1976, when all three channels aired nothing but the political conventions for three hours in primetime for at least four straight days. What’s this? No Welcome Back, Kotter re-runs? No M*A*S*H reruns?!? What do you expect me to do: go outside and catch lightning bugs or play flashlight tag? Harrumph! Well, the networks have gotten savvier: the convention is only on for one hour tonight on their air (CNN’s coverage begins at 9 p.m.).

Remember: it was only 11 months ago, in this same city, where the first GOP debate began with a bang, as Brett Baier of FOX News asked Donald Trump to explain why HE wouldn’t pledge to not run as a third-party candidate if someone else secured the GOP nomination. Life is funny that way….

Oh, and tonight, Melania Trump leads off as a speaker. I think every Trump kid will eventually speak this week, too. You down with RNC GOP? “Yeah, you know me!”