by John Walters

Starting Five

Badman Vs. Stupidman

A super-PAC known as “Make America Awesome” (too late; already is) put out an internet ad using a photo of the Trumpette herself, Melania, au naturale. Donald blamed Ted and then threatened him:

Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a G.Q. shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 23, 2016

Ted dared Donald to go there and called him a “coward.” Fight at recess tomorrow. On the courts behind the math lab. Or is that the meth lab. It’s 2016: could be both.

2. Brussels

Call it racial/ethnic profiling, call it “behavioral profiling” (as a law-enforcement official on CNBC did on Tuesday morning), call it what you will, but authorities need to be more vigilant. Just a few days after an ISIS leader who helped coordinate the Paris attacks is captured, these three walk into Zaventem Airport in Brussels.

As my sister adroitly spotted, notice how two of them only have a glove on their left hands.That’s lazy work by ISIS, but it is also a missed opportunity for law enforcement. You figure they’d be on high alert after Friday’s capture of Salah Abeslam, and bracing for an attack. This Michael Jackson look was a clue to thwart one.

3. Craig’s Fight

News from the NBA that TNT sideline reporter Craig Sager’s leukemia is no longer in remission. In an HBO Real Sports sit down with Bernard Goldberg, Sager reveals that his doctors have informed him, after two stem cell transplants, that his diagnosis is three to six months to live.

I met Sager, 64, at a roast for Rudy Martzke in 2000 in Biloxi, Miss. What struck me about him is that he is much bigger and taller than you might imagine. A good-looking man, and one full of life. We wish him and his family the best.

4. Arbor-tration

Maybe you’re asking yourself, What’s that dude doing sitting atop an 80-foot Sequoia in downtown Seattle? I’m wondering what an 80-foot Sequoia is doing in downtown Seattle myself. Both are good questions.

As of last night, he was still tree-sitting, despite the efforts of police negotiators to ask him to climb down. And I don’t even think he’s sports radio DJ who lost a bet. Maybe he’s an ex-conifer. Maybe they should just treat him the way fire departments treat cats: He’ll climb down when he gets hungry.

5. Havana Good Time

Former Yankee Derek Jeter attended the game between Cuba and the Tampa Bay Rays. So did the President. I believe that’s the back of Raul Castro’s head in the foreground. Or Starlin Castro’s head. Wait, he’s a Yanqui. Anyway…

The Rays defeated the Reys, 4-1.

I see that Dan Le Batard got a lot of attention, as the son of Cuban exiles, for his column on  what Cuba really is and how he’s not fully on board with this game. That’s fine. I’m sure if America had more Chinese-American sports columnists someone might’ve written the same column about the Beijing Olympics. Maybe they did.

Music 101

Wait

Ah, hair metal. That era of the Eighties when nearly every band’s lead singer wanted to have the same hair as contemporary actress Jennifer “Nobody puts baby in a corner” Grey (the problem arose when they were prettier than Jennifer Grey). This was White Lion‘s big hit, peaking at No. 8 in 1988 just as this guy (thumbs to chest) was graduating from college. That’s lead singer Mike Tramp.

Remote Patrol

Clippers at Warriors

10:30 p.m. ESPN

After three tough games in four nights, the Dubs only get one day off before taking the court again versus the team they love to hate. GSW is 33-7 (and 32-0) with two games remaining versus the Spurs. It’s getting interesting. The Clippers have lost six of nine.