by John Walters

Starting Five

1. RIP, Megatron

I saw Calvin Johnson play in person at Georgia Tech. No one could cover him. Simply a freak of nature. After the game Notre Dame safety Chinedum Ndukwe, a future NFL player, was asked about Johnson and he simply smiled and said, “Good as advertised.”

Yesterday, after nine seasons with the Detroit Lions, Johnson, a.k.a Megatron, retired. So now he’ll have Thanksgiving mornings to himself. He’s a Hall of Famer, talent-wise. The problem is that because Detroit always stunk, there’s not much of a legacy for the fan beyond the environs of the Motor City.

Do you realize that Johnson never played a home playoff game in his career? He played in two wildcard games, in 2014 and 2015, and the Lions lost both. The more memorable of the two was a 24-20 loss at Dallas in 2014, which is actually memorable mainly for the fact that America saw Chris Christie hugging Jerry Jones in the owner’s box.

Johnson, 30, retires as Detroit’s all-time leading receiver. But overall in the NFL, he is only 43rd in career receptions (731), 22nd in TD catches (83), and 27th in receiving yards (11,619). Very, very good, but it’s disappointing that, not unlike Barry Sanders (who was relatively better), he spent all of his career in hapless Detroit.

Outside of his physical gifts (the 6’5″ size, the hands, the speed), he may actually be remembered for the TD catch that was ruled not a catch in Chicago (“The ruling on the field is that the runner did not complete the catch during the process of the catch.” Never say the NFL can’t take something that can be explained in five words and do a worse job of explaining it in 20). That was the shot heard ’round the world in the NFL’s recent “What exactly is a catch?” debate.

2. Donald Trump: Team America F**k Yeah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEPLefoDwNM

Yesterday I tweeted that it would be stupid to spend all this money ($21 million) on anti-Trump ads, since such attacks would only be throwing gasoline onto the fire. Like thrashing about in quick sand. For those who don’t want to see a Trump America, they must understand that Donald Trump followers use attacks against him as a reason to become even more entrenched against the establishment and/or political correctness. As does he.

See this moment from a Q&A in Michigan yesterday. The MSNBC reporter asks him about foul language, and he turns it back on the reporter in an ad hominem attack. This is what the GOP establishment and/or the liberal media (and even conservative media) don’t get. There are millions of voters out there who are exactly unlike them (they don’t, for example, tweet or use the term “ad hominem attack.”)

Team America: World Police and Idiocracy were early millennial satires. The joke is on them, though. It’s now reality. There’s a pushback on the transgender bathroom crowd and the Modern Family crowd and the Black Lives Matter crowd.  It’s all about balance. One group went so far in one extreme direction that now another antipodal group is going that far in the opposite direction.

It’s like this: ESPN awarding Caitlyn Jenner the Arthur Ashe Courage Award is the best thing that ever happened to the Trump campaign.

3. I Choose Violins?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuH3tJPiP-U

I always pegged Cersei as more of a fan of the lyre. Anyway, here’s the Season 6 Game of Thrones trailer. Meanwhile Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” sill has some mileage left in it. I feel as if HBO or someone used this song as a theme song for a show back in the 1990s. At least here the title of the song is apropos.

4. Far RIGHT Fielder

Former New York Yankee Paul O’Neill, one of my all-time favorite pinstripes, endorsed Donald Trump yesterday. For president. I think he likes the idea of building a wall. A right field wall. That keeps fly balls inside the park.

I wonder, though: How can a man with hair that good be backing a man with hair that bad?

5. “Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!”

As “The People Vs. O.J. Simpson” soldiers on, you may notice that are titular character is becoming less of a major character…which is exactly went down in his trial. As the Juice was muted, attorneys and/or witnesses such as prosecutor Marcia Clark, defense whiz Johnny Cochrane and Detective Mark Fuhrman came to the fore.

A few interesting, timely notes about last night’s Marcia Clark (Sarah Paulson) -centric version: first, Clark , playing the part of Marco Rubio, makes a joke about the size of defense attorney F. Lee Bailey’s hands in the courtroom, a joke she knows the jurors will comprehend. Second, Bailey may have launched the race card war by asking Fuhrman if he had ever used the “N-word.” People forget that for the jurors and much of the American audience, whether or not he did ever those two syllables was tantamount to deciding O.J.’s innocence or guilt.

Finally, there’s the whole, surreal idea that an event of major importance (a murder trial then, a presidential race today) devolves into a soap opera for the TV audience. There’s one scene in which two mechanics are watching the trail and one of them says, “They should put Kato back on the show,” as if this is General Hospital. Good stuff.

Meanwhile, here’s Fuhrman on why he won’t watch the show. He makes some very solid points.

Music 101

Grazin’ in the Grass

I can dig it he can dig it she can dig it we can dig it they can dig it you can dig it. I mean, if you have to decline the verb “to dig it,” proceed directly to the Friends of Distinction. This tune hit No. 3 on the Billboard charts in 1969.

Remote Patrol

Champions League

Paris St. Germain at Chelsea

2:30 p.m. FS1

This is the third year in a row the London club and the Parisian club are meeting in a knockout stage. Two years ago the Blues won, while last year it was PSG. John Terry will miss the match with a boo boo, but Diego Costa suits up for Chelsea and The Zlatan, Zlatan Ibrhamovic, will make his presence felt for PSG. I also think we may have him to blame for the man-bun.