by John Walters

Starting Five

Bern Notice

It was a great night for Juice and Jews (He can’t write that, can he?), if you were watching The People vs. O.J. Simpson and cable news. The Juice made it home alive in his slow, white Bronco, while Bernie Sanders garnered about 60% of the Democratic vote in the New Hampshire primary. Donald Trump won the GOP side handily, with John Kasich finishing second (“Everybody swing to the left/Everybody swing to the right”)

What of Jeb! ?, you ask. Well, Samantha Bee tackled that in her new show, Full Frontal, with a Grizzly Man-like homage to the latest Bush who aspires to make 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. his home address.

2. Everything You Need To Know About the Dubs in :29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkcrBerSpMI

If you stayed up late to watch the second half, you also saw Stephen Curry drive left, circle under the basket, and somehow toss up a shot on the right side of the rim, from almost directly beneath the basket, that evaded the long arm of Dwight Howard, kissed the glass, and fell through. He didn’t have a a great second half, but Curry still scored 35 in a 123-110 win at home against the Rockerts.

Golden State is now 47-4 and 24-0 at home (San Antonio is 44-8 and 28-0 at home). The Rockets, who are 27-27, had the score tied to start the fourth quarter and are an 8-seed. These two would meet in the opening round of the season ended today.

3. Bomb Disposal

On Monday night, at the 3:40 mark of this clip, Seth Meyers told a joke that in a few short words captured the themes of abandonment, decades of frustration, and the death of not one but two elderly women. I laughed. But the audience did not. Which made Seth laugh, mightily.

He’s so much more comfortable working from his desk, and this was a Carson-ian moment. Johnny used to enjoy himself most when his jokes really, really cratered.

4. Where There’s a Will

There’s no correlation between how funny and/or successful a comedian is and how well he or she and Jerry will connect on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. The most recent episode, with Will Ferrell, takes our two funny men to a diner in Venice Beach, but there are a lot of fits and starts here. It doesn’t really flow that well. My favorite moment is when Will begins a question with, “On a scale of zero to 10 with zero being—” and Jerry interrupts, “Everyone understands the scale.”

Who am I really hoping Jerry takes out for coffee next? Key and Peele (cut to joke about one of them having to sit in the back of the car).

5. Never Say Dive Attitude

I’m not sure why this photo needs to incite the latest edition of Race Wars. It seems obvious enough. Your team trails 16-10 in Super Bowl 50 with, as the photo attests, 4:12 left in the game. It’s 3rd-and-9 so even if you recover this fumble, sure, you’re probably going to punt.

Still, the ball is on the ground after Von Miller made yet another outstanding play (look: I just gave credit to an African-American; but aren’t I about to “bash Cam,” so aren’t I a racist?) to strip the ball. If you’re Cam Newton, you at least have to dive for this ball before DeMarcus Ware scoops it up. Every coach from Pop Warner up to Ron Rivera would preach that you dive for this ball (unless, maybe, you’ve already endured four neck surgeries).

There were Cam apologists aplenty yesterday, explaining that Cam would have had to contort his leg in a weird position and risk injury. Well, that’s only because he approached the football as if it were a quarter on the sidewalk and wasn’t going to get his trousers dirty to pick it up. If, right at the moment above, he dives for the football, he’s got at least a 50/50 shot at it.

@jdubs88 Black Power. No more making nice. When the media bashed Cam, they awoke a sleeping giant

— Kevin Brown (@masterdon40) February 9, 2016

Of course, even by mentioning this play and discussing it purely in football terms, I’ve crossed the line with some people. That’s what’s so depressing.

Music 101

Ruby Tuesday

“Don’t question why she needs to be so free
She’ll tell you it’s the only way to be
She just can’t be chained
To a life where nothings gained
And nothings lost, at such a cost”

and…

“There’s no time to lose/I heard her say/Catch your dreams/Before they slip away

Dying all the time/lose your dreams and you/Will lose your mind/Ain’t life unkind…”

This song, written by Keith Richards in a quasi-homage to his ex-girlfriend Linda Keith, who took up with Jimi Hendrix, made it to No. 1 in 1966. This is probably amongst your top five Rolling Stones tunes. Certainly it is one of the most idiosyncratic and beautiful. It’s a classic. They don’t name restaurant chains after duds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YJXfcndyvU

Remote Patrol

The Great Escape

8 p.m. TCM

Long before there was Saving Private Ryan, there was this film from the early 1960s. A terrific ensemble cast that includes Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Garner, Sir Richard Attenborough and James Coburn. As in SPR (and The Dirty Dozen, which aired on TCM last week), the WW2 film isn’t about a significant battle as much as it is about a group of men on a particular mission. And most of them will perish. If you’ve never seen it, do yourself a favor. It’s outstanding.

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