by John Walters
No, silly, these are not identical twins. That’s Hugh Jackman, above, who turns 47 today, and devoted MH reader and good friend Greg Auman, below, who turned 40 yesterday.
Starting Five
1. Sark-nado
USC head football coach Steve Sarkisian is asked to take a leave of absence (“He gone”) by athletic director Pat Haden after arriving at football practice on Sunday and, according to one anonymous player, having the smell of liquor on his breath.
You know about the “(Bleeping’) Fight On!” scene at the USC booster event in August. I’ve got an unconfirmed report that Sark was not exactly on his best behavior during Pac-12 media days two weeks earlier. Also, when USC played at Arizona State on September 26, people tell me that Sark was acting bizarre when the Trojans came out for warm-ups, yelling at ASU players and random other people on the field.
It’s sadly apparent that Sark, 40, has a substance abuse problem of some sort. Also, that he’s not going to to be coaching any more games on the north sideline at the Coliseum. He needs help for his problem, and no school the size of USC can expect to compete for recruits when the parents of four- and five-stars know that the head coach has a substance abuse problem. Four-star LB Daelin Hayes of Ann Arbor, Mich., who had verbally committed to Troy last summer, already decommitted. He will be at the USC-Notre Dame game this Saturday in South Bend.
Sark led the Cougars to a 14-1 season in his senior year. Provo is a dry campus.
But this also falls on Pat Haden’s leadership. When Sark behaved so odd at the booster function and then it was left to Cody Kessler and the Trojan team captains to “discipline” him? And they had him do up-downs, as if he had arrived late to a meeting as opposed to being publicly intoxicated at a team function? No one there took this seriously enough until it was too late.
Weird Facts You May Not Know About Sark: 1) Had no scholarship offers coming out of high school, but led Brigham Young to a 14-1 record in 1996 as a senior (the Cougars were the first D-IA team to win 14 games in a season) and 2) He once completed 31 of 34 passes in a game, setting a then-NCAA record for completion percentage in a game at 91.2%.
2. Happiness Is a Warm Gun
Why does Taran Killam look so much like Jason Sudeikis?
Comedienne Amy Schumer hosted Saturday Night Live and this gun clip (!) is the most memorable moment. You may remember there was a fatal mass shooting at a showing of her film The Trainwreck this summer, but who can keep up with all the mass shootings?
3. Nicked Chubb
Ow
Another SEC game featuring Tennessee, another devastating knee injury to the rusher on the other side (remember Marcus Lattimore). Georgia’s Nick Chubb, Medium Happy‘s preseason pick to win the Grange Award, is lost for the season on the first play from scrimmage in Knoxville. Because it’s Georgia, where a little misery is never enough, the Bulldogs later blew a 24-3 lead and lost to the Vols. Grayson Lambert did throw a go-ahead 55 or so yard TD catch late, but the ball fell through his receiver’s hand. It isn’t easy living Live Between the Hedges.
4. Utley Chased Out of New York
Whenever they say “head over heels,” the heels are usually, in fact, over the head….
Phillies Dodgers second baseman Chase Utley has been excused from taking part in Games 3 and 4 at Citi Field. and in what is the most hated slide in New York City postseason history in perhaps ever. I mean, Hal McRae bowled over Willie Randolph in 1977…
…and Pete Rose got frisky with Bud Harrelson in 1973, but neither player suffered a broken fibula as did the Mets’ Ruben Tejada.
My take: It wasn’t so much about the location of Utley’s slide, it was how late (Utley is practically at the base before he even begins to drop into his slide) he began the slide. And yes, it was also about Tejada making an awkward and likely unnecessary pivot because he was never turning two on that play. And if you want to argue that such slides are commonplace, you may be right. In fact, FS1 aired a timely montage of such slides just from this postseason.
The difference is that this one broke someone’s leg, and it happened in prime time in the postseason, and in a game featuring the two largest market teams and, yes, arguably it cost the Mets the game. And so of course MLB feels under some pressure to take punitive action.
5. Herding Zombies
The first 300 finishers receive a T-shirt…
Missed opportunity for the producers of The Walking Dead in last night’s Season 6 premiere. As Sasha and Abraham were leading the walkers away from Alexandria, their radio should have been blaring Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way.”
Meanwhile, why did they have Rick (?) tell the others, “We’ll do it live?” Does one of the show’s writers have a jones for referencing obscure Bill O’Reilly meltdowns?
Hey, I’m not a football coach and I don’t understand all the minutiae of the game, but if you’ve got a thousand or so zombies trapped in a quarry, why not, instead of wondering when a wall will give way, why not set the quarry on fire and let them burn? Do zombies not burn (Is this something I should know)?
Anyway, seems like a colossally stupid strategic blunder by Rick, just supposing Daryl’s good looks and motorcycle would be enough to lure all the zombies down a road out of town (maybe if all the zombies are 40 year-old housewives, sure…). It felt like Lonesome Dove meets Dawn of the Dead.
Here’s one review...
Music 101
I’m Your Captain/Closer To Home
There wasn’t much funky about Grand Funk Railroad, but they were an authentic and internationally acclaimed blues rock band in the early Seventies (Have I ever told you how lucky I feel to have grown up when I did? I have? Oh, well…). This 1970 tune helped launch this Flint, Michigan, band, who one year later sold out Shea Stadium in 72 hours, or less time than it took the Beatles to do so. Not even nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is silly (Janet Jackson?!?! Really? C’mon.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8MYsii4DZY
Remote Patrol
Dodgers at Mets, Game 3
TBS 8 p.m.
A plunking we will go, a plunking we will go….The Dark Knight, Mets pitcher Matt Harvey, will likely not bean any Los Angelenos because 1) he could get tossed and 2) why give this anemic-hitting team a free base? The first postseason game in ever at Citi Field. It’ll be absolutely electric.
If MLB rules Utley out after the review and the Mets get out of the inning with the score tied at 2. This still gets the attention but not as crazy as it has become.
You’re right, Tejada’s not turning two there, but the Mets went from 2 outs with the go ahead run on 1st to 1st and 2nd and 1 out. Followed two batters later by a 2 run double.
What’s the point of replay if common sense doesn’t factor in?
Replay Ump 1 “Um, Tejada missed 2nd by an inch”
Replay Ump 2 “Yeah, but he just has his leg broken on that slide”
Replay Ump 1 “Who gives a shit, rules are rules, Utley’s safe”
That “slide” by McRae was ridiculous. He went full Clay Matthews on Randolph. So much good stuff in that clip though, Pinella holding back Randolph, Nettles about to explode, Bucky, Chambliss and, of course, Thurman. Amazing that Martin did not go complete bat sh*t crazy. You can guarantee any highlight involving Brett and the Yankees will be entertaining.
Just curious – did YOU actually watch ‘The Walking Dead’ season premiere last night? Or are you just going by what that Forbes writer says? (Who is either a plagiarizer or is a victim of plagiarism as I just read another “recap” by a Kimberly Potts on yahoo.com & there are multiple chunks in each that are verbatim. Or possibly they both plagiarized somebody else…)
Anhyoo, I am very late to the Dead ‘party’. Never watched the show until 2 months ago when one Sunday there was a marathon of Season 5 on some channel & I ended up watching the final 5 episodes of last season. I was hooked. And then about a month ago, a local Washington TV channel started broadcasting the show – 2 episodes one night a week, beginning with well, the beginning, so I was up to early Season 2. Kinda blew my mind to see the characters as they are in Season 5 1st & THEN see how it all AND the characters began. (Bad-ass Carol was this meek & abused little housewife!) And then, last week, AMC ‘marathoned’ (a verb these days) the entire run, broadcasting 6-8 episodes every night & non-stop Saturday-Sunday up to last night’s premiere. I have never seen that many episodes of any show back-back like that (don’t have Netflix) & it’s been quite a weird experience. And yes, I’ve been kicking myself that I didn’t watch till now. It’s FABULOUS!
So, there’s not just a “thousand or so” zombies in the quarry – more like 20,000-40,000 (maybe more). Some of the semi-trucks that had been put in place to keep the zombies trapped (apparently by folks at the beginning of the apocalypse & was either unknown or just not talked about by the current Alexandrians & thus, Rick’s gang had no idea it existed) were close to falling off… here it comes… the CLIFF which meant ALL the zombies would be able to get out AT ONCE & make a beeline to unprepared Alexandria. In fact, the day they were there to do a “dry run”, one of the trucks fell, so that’s why they had to “DO IT LIVE NOW”. (I’m not sure if Rick is the one who actually said that line).
Sounds like a crazy plan but not many other options were available. Don’t see HOW they would attempt to set that many on fire at the same time, especially spread out in such a large pit all while the 20,000 or so zombies suddenly have access out? It’s not like they have a plane that can napalm ’em. Plus, from what we’ve seen – fire does NOT “kill” the zombies.
As for the “lead-out”, it’s been established on the show that zombies “herd up” & follow sound. Besides the gun-barin’, sexy redneck with a heart-of-gold on the Harley, there was a lead car & other folks shooting off flare-guns to keep ’em comin’ & er, goin’. Things were actually going fairly marvelously until the HORN, the HORN outta nowhere! Hysterical that the episode ended with a ….here it comes…. a CLIFF-hanger.
As for your linked “reviewer” – he calls Rick “a complete jerk” (IS HE KIDDING?!), he says Rick is “eager to get things done regardless of input” (completely false – he asks & listens to Michonne, Daryl, Carol & Glenn), he thinks Morgan is great (again, is he kidding – we barely know this guy’s motives right now & he was CAARAAAZY the last time Rick ran into him), says Rick is “teetering very close to full villain” (again, TOTALLY disagree), says burying the wife & kid-beater/killer of Reg outside the compound is “cruel to Pete’s children” (hmm, more cruel than watching their mom beat repeatedly over the years or getting beat themselves?), says the coup-attempting Carter was almost killed by Rick “until Rick is talked down” (did the guy fall asleep/make a potty run? Rick decided himself how to handle that guy) & finally, the same as you – wonders why they don’t just set all the quarry-zombies on fire, or after they “build up the barriers higher & then spend a couple weeks just killing undead” (well, they DIDN’T HAVE the time! Plus, the Alexandrians can barely hold a shovel let alone mow down thousands of drooling, comin-to-kill-ya zombies, so there’s not enough firepower).
I do agree “Walk this Way’ would have been hysterical, but maybe that would have been out of place for such a drama? Most humor I’ve noted on the series has been understated. My fave line is when Daryl had been thrown by one of Hershel’s horses (& fell down a ravine & could have died) & Hershel seemed more concerned with the whereabouts of his horse & banged-up/mistakenly shot-at Daryl replied with something like “that bitch that threw me? She better be outta the country!” I laughed nonstop for 5 minutes.
Yes, Susie B., I did watch the entire show, and I hope you watched “Talking Dead,” which is the perfect amuse bouche afterward. I wondered aloud if fires kill zombies. If so, just throw a few flaming trees into the pit, and shore up that one area where the trucks were falling apart. Either way, Rick is getting to be the class know-it-all who is just plain annoying. I’m beginning to root for the walkers.
Carter, is that you?
😉
And seriously, you don’t like Daryl? What’s not to love! Muscles, sleeveless shirts, leather vest, muscles, heart of gold, sad & abused past, dry sense of humor, muscles (ahem) , AND not only can he hunt/kill/cook you dinner but keep you safe from zombies. He’s a renaissance man!
I know you will disagree, but I think ‘The Walking Dead’ should have won at LEAST a couple Emmys by now (for best drama, writing, & actors & actresses). And even though it’s in this quirky horror-sci fi type genre, there has not been a show that has made me think & rethink about life/death/stress/humanity, the whole question of ‘what-would-I-do’ like this one. And I’m totally shocked. Never wanted to view yet another ‘armageddon’ TV show/movie, especially one with zombies (!) & now here I think the show is actually superior to (cover your eyes) both ‘Breaking Bad’ & ‘Mad Men’. Life, or at least TV, is strange. 🙂
I’ve never had the good fortune to meet the witty G.A. in person, but I’m a huge fan of his timeless work, as curated by Goodreads:
1) Poor Richard’s Almanack
2) Old Farmer’s Almanac
3) Greg’s Aumanac
Happy birthday, young man!
I don’t remember you mentioning it – did you watch the new show ‘Fear the Walking Dead’? What did you think? I think it’s great too, especially to see the early days, when they don’t know what’s happening, the chaos, think ‘the government’ will of course save the day, finally realize their worse nightmare is actually coming true & now what? It will be fascinating to see (just like in the original) how these characters evolve & who even survives. Also, what new characters (good & bad) will enter their lives. I do have 2 complaints – wouldn’t you think there’d be more people asking/talking/screaming to each other -“what’s happening?! &/or “when/if it will end?!” And 2nd, they couldn’t show even ONE celebrity go zombie?! They’re in L.A.!