by John Walters
Starting Five
1. American Booty
The Met Gala, a.k.a. “Anna Wintour Shakes Down the Fashion Industry for Charity,” was held last night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I’m a fan because 1) it’s beautiful people getting swankdelicious 2) it’s at the Met and 3) it’s always in the beginning of May, which in many ways is the best time of year in New York City.
J-Lo and Kim Kardashian showed off their asse(t)s to the chagrin of all the skinny white girls.
I can confirm that at no time last night did Rosie Huntington-Whitely step into MacAleer’s to watch any of the games
2. The Clippers Grow Up
If you count his two stints with the Clippers as two, Barnes has played for nine different NBA teams in 11 seasons
In the span of one week, L.A.’s other NBA franchise has ripened to full maturity. After a tough home loss to the Spurs in Game 5, they win Game 6 in San Antonio, then wrest Game 7 from the Spurs by 2 points, and then without Chris Paul, their leader, come together as a unit and surprise the Rockets in Houston in Game 1 of their series. Matt Barnes, J.J. Redick and Jamal Crawford are producing like the seasoned pros that they are in supporting roles, while Blake Griffin is in his prime.
Watch out, Golden State. Your biggest competition is also your most hated rival.
Also: the Cavs lost. I’ll let Susie B. fill you in more about that…
3. Truth Is…
The CEO of a Silicon Valley-based company called Survey Monkey apparently died while working out on a treadmill in a posh Mexican resort last week. David Goldberg, 47, appears to have fallen while on a treadmill and somehow received blunt force trauma to his head. Goldberg’s wife, Sheryl Sandberg, is the COO of Facebook (I believe she was also on that flight that crash-landed in San Francisco two summers ago).
Bizarre. You’ll recall that on the show Silicon Valley, in order to account for the real-life death of cast member Chirstopher Evan Welch (cancer), they made up a story for this season’s premiere about the demise of his character, VC billionaire Peter Gregory. I’m not sure which tale is more preposterous.
The moral? Never go on vacation outside the United States.
4. Steph!
Pete Maravich’s ball skills, Larry Bird’s shooting touch, and Tim Duncan’s team-oriented attitude. That’s Stephen Curry.
You know that “This is SportsCenter” ad in which Golden State Warrior Stephen Curry thanks the cooks for making chicken curry? It’s not that far removed from reality. Curry, who was named the NBA MVP yesterday, was gracious, humble and sincere during his press conference. Great player, great role model.
Curry’s parents deserve some sort of award, but then they already have one.
5. Surely, You Can’t Be…
An oral history of Airplane! What is it? It’s a film with tons of B-list actors parodying themselves while also parodying the film Zero Hour, but that’s not important now. Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Music 101
Old Man
I’ve been first and last/Look at how the time goes past/But I’m all alone at last/Rolling home to you
In 1970 Neil Young purchased a ranch in northern California for $350,000. He still lives there today. The Broken Arrow ranch had an old caretaker, Louis Avila, who asked Young how a hippie his age could already be so wealthy as to afford that ranch. Young said, “Just lucky, Louie,” then wrote this hit in Avila’s honor, put it on his classic 1972 album Harvest, and made even more money.
Remote Patrol
Wizards-Hawks; Grizzlies-Warriors
TNT 8 p.m.
Try the Beal! Bradley scored a game-high 28 points in the WW’s Game 1 win
The W’s have nothing but W’s. The Wizards and Warriors are a combined 10-0 in the postseason thus far. Who will lose first? You’d have to go with the team that does not have the newly crowned NBA MVP.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve started to rate professional athletes on if I would pay money to see them live. Stephen Curry, since college, has been a guy I would spend good money on to see in person.
And for Susie B, I can’t believe we didn’t hear anything about Lebron’s headband yesterday…Maybe I was seeing things, but I saw a headline yesterday saying why it was done.
Also, maybe treadmills should only be utilized when the temperature hits sub-zero?
Sandberg wasn’t on that flight. She was supposed to be but changed to a different one. http://valleywag.gawker.com/sheryl-sandberg-successfully-makes-sf-plane-crash-about-688791662
The Met Gala, a.k.a. Full Moon Waning.
Neil Young reveals his old soul in that early recording. Haunting.
Sooooooo, here’s the thing, well, a few things – I experienced a “flashforward” right BEFORE the opening tip & thought we were gonna lose. Hence, I was grumpy & saying nasty things to the TV throughout. 2nd thing, the “flashforward” may have been provoked by looking at the Cavs starting line-up : Mike Miller? It kills me to say this as I luv Shoeless Mike Miller, a contributing hero to the Heat’s Championships runs. And from everything I’ve read & heard, EVERYone who has EVER played with Mike loves him – he’s the friggin “teammate whisperer”. But when you lose your shooting touch & whatever speed you had, your NBA career is kaput, justlikethat, ESPECIALLY if your big contribution to a team was 3-pt SHOOTING. Saw it last year with Shane. sigh.
But, it wasn’t all his fault. I’d been worried about the Bulls even BEFORE the playoffs started & was lighting candles for the Raptors during the last 2 weeks of the season to stop their freakin freefall; I wanted THEM to finish in 3rd place, not the BULLYING Bulls. And THEN, Love is maimed by Olynyk, Canada’s secret assassin (possibly under “contract” to a certain windy city…) & now the Cavs have to get past the team whose championship dreams had been CRUSHED by one LeBron ‘Dream Crusher’ James three out of the past 4 years with only a ‘Big 2′ & not 3? Alas.
Anyhoo, the Cavs were behind early & NEVER got ahead (although they did tie it up at least once). Kyrie played well as did Shump, the guy with the 7 inch, um, hair. (Seriously, HOW does he get his hair like that?) But Sweet Pea? I think he was trying to be TOO much, i.e. do too MANY things & consequently, didn’t score as much as needed. Flat-out, LeBron needs to score AT LEAST 30 with at least 52% shooting in every game this series or the Cavs don’t have a prayer if Rose is actually in the game & not on the bench. LBJ was 9 of 22 last night. NINE of twenty-two. Probably because he was exhausted trying to defend everyone & run the offense. Without one of their OTHER starters – JR Smith, a great defender, LBJ was trying to take up the slack. Well, in this case, LBJ needs to STOP trying to be a Renaissance man & remember – “jack of all trades & master of NONE” & go back to being the KING.
And Jacob – I saw that tidbit of “why” LBJ has ditched the headband & I didn’t comment as it makes NO sense – wants to “LOOK like his teammates”? WTF? 1st of all, he will NEVER look like his teammates because he’s LEBRON JAMES, the NBA’ very own King and susie b’s “Sexiest Man Alive” award winner 4 straight years. 🙂 The only way he would “look” like any other human is if the audience was comprised solely of the 3 Blind Mice. (However, it is possible he is trying to confuse the refs into actually calling fouls on his opponents as they ignore all but the most egregious on him – take off the headband & the refs might think he was ANOTHER player & thus call the foul. Don’t know if this ploy has worked or not).