by John Walters
Starting Five
1. Baltimore-or-Less
And the strangest part of it was, it was “Chris Davis Bat Day.” Orioles win, 8-2.
2. Twilight-weights
The two met last winter at a Miami Heat game: “You’ve got the brains. I’ve got the looks. Let’s make lots of money.”
Manny Pacquiao is 36 years old.
Floyd Mayweather is 38 years old.
My story in Newsweek.
3. Chelsea, Handlers
Chelsea’s glow-in-the-dark kits were too much for Leicester
Chelsea scored a come-from-behind win yesterday at Leicester and are now one win away from securing the Premier League title this season. The Londoners will hoist whatever BPL winners hoist for the first time in five years if they defeat Crystal Palace –not a strip joint, though it should be– on Sunday at Stamford Bridge.
Watch this coup de grace goal in the 83rd minute by Ramires.
4. Trading Places (the easy lazy headline to use here)
I missed this last week — because I’m currently without a working TV — but Jerry Seinfeld appeared on Late Show and Dave handed him the keys to the desk.
5. M(ay)ock Draft
NFL Network’s Mike Mayock only does one mock draft. Which is all you should do. He revealed it yesterday.
People have asked me why I’m not ranting about the INSANE hype & money for that upcoming sport travesty known as the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight starring CONVICTED beater of women, Floyd. (Well, people who know me, people who don’t know me rarely ask anything except – “where you’d get your purse?”). A couple reasons – 1st, I believe in karma. 2nd, the only REAL bet should be on which comes 1st – Mayweather’s bankruptcy or imprisonment? Once Floyd retires & is no longer a famous CURRENT athlete making $100 million a year, he will suddenly see all the egregious legal leniency granted to him will be “no mas, no mas” (um, boxing flashback). As for the bankruptcy – have you read/seen how he handles money? Seriously, where can one short Mayweather’s future net worth (let’s say 10 years from now)? Vegas? How ironic.
Here’s one more reason I guess I’d be a lousy NFL GM – I’ve just seen several Draft lists (by so-called “NFL experts”) & none had GURLEYMAN higher than 14th, most were at 17-23. I know he’s still recovering from the ACL & he’s a RB, a position currently more devalued by the NFL hoohas than 3-D printing stocks by Wall Street, but he was THE most exciting CFB player I’d seen all last year. If my hypothetical team already had a QB, Gurley would be my #ONE pick. What about you?
Two more things (hey, I missed yesterday) –
How many years (months?) before Rondo is playing in China?
And I thought that Rockets tweet of the cartoon horsehead & pistol as the Mavericks were losing the game & 1st Round to dreaded rival Houston was damn funny! Instead of FIRING the guy (!), they should have given him a RAISE!