Starting Five

 

1. A Mark Few Good Men

I happen to catch a lot of Gonzaga basketball on Thursday and Saturday nights late, which should inform you that 1) the Zags have become a very telegenic mid-major program (they’re Boise State of the hardwood) and 2) my social life is lacking.

Anyway, the third-ranked Zags (25-1 after last night’s beat down of LMU) intrigue me. Are they truly a Top 5 team –this is a squad that was tied midway through the second half at the University of San Francisco last Saturday night–or do I just fail to see them as a Top 5 team because they don’t look like a Top 5 team?

Their footwork and even their dribbling reminds me of a high school club. Their point guard, senior Kevin Pangos, touches his hair more than a young Michael J. Fox (and so, yes, I’ve dubbed him Teen Wolf). Their center, 7-1, 300-pound Przemek Kanowski, looks like Mark Eaton’s burlier brother. Either that or the younger bro from My Name Is Earl. 

They have two guys who truly look and move like basketball players: leading scorer Kyle Wiltjer, a 6-10 transfer from Kentucky (though he grew up in Oregon) who is the next Chandler Parsons; and 6-10 freshman Domantas Sabonis, son of NBA legend Arvydas Sabots. Walter is the Zags’ leading scorer, Sabonis their leading rebounder.

It’s not a deep team. Every game I watch, especially road games, the conference foe stays with them for 25-30 minutes, and then Gonzaga pulls away to win by 10 or so at the end. They’ve played two ranked teams, beating No. 22 SMU by 16 and falling in overtime at then No. 3 Arizona.

Believe it or not, coach Mark Few is in his 16th season in Spokane. He’s won more than 80% of his games at the charming little Jesuit school that boasts Bing Crosby as an alum (“shoo be doozie do…”). However, the Zags, unlike their players’ career routes, have been one-and-done in the NCAA’s the past five seasons, i.e., Round of 32. Few’s record in March Madness is just 16-15. Yes, the Zags have made the tourney all 15 years he has been on the bench.

But are they good enough to win even three games in March Madness? A No. 3 ranked club oughta be.

2. Colonel Angus

Undertaking a thankless errand, Rolling Stone decided to list the “Top 50 Greatest Saturday Night Live Sketches of All Time” (or, since 1975). Possibly more entertaining than perusing the list is sifting through the 300 or so comments informing RS of what they missed.

“The Sinatra Group,” “Landshark,” “Cheeseburger Cheeseburger”, “The Californians,” “Two Mile Island,” “Storytellers: Neil Diamond,” etc.

I didn’t comment, but if I had I would have asked how they found a way to omit “Colonel Angus.” The wordplay/fourplay sketch, written by Tina Fey and abetted by Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken, would be in my top ten.

I like their No. 1. It’s in my Top 5, at least.

 

3. “______, Please”

One player in the entire NFL got hammered for being caught on video saying the “N” word. Okay, I should say one white player. African-American players say it all the time.

Anyway, that player, Riley Cooper, adorns the Philadelphia Eagles calendar for the month of February…which is Black History Month. I guess my question is, How did this not be come a Cause Harrumph until February 12?

4. Carr Goes

One of the most talented writers at The New York Times, David Carr, is dead at 58. The highly respected media critic (and how often do you read that phrase?) pulled a Charlie Skinner, collapsing in the news room and then being pronounced dead a short time later at St. Luke’s Hospital.

Here was Carr just yesterday on the divergent career paths of Jon Stewart and Brian Williams. I can’t say I pore over the Times every day, but when I came across a column by Carr, I always read it. He didn’t know how to write boring or tepid.

5. Hey, Vern

I love the Vernon Adams saga at Eastern Washington University because whose side you take says a lot about your perspective on so many other issues.

If you are unaware, Vernon Adams played his last three seasons as the quarterback at the FCS school and led them to a 34-9 record. Adams, a dual-threat QB, put up ridiculous numbers versus B-list competition. He will graduate this spring but he still has one year of eligibility remaining.

Because Adams will graduate this spring and technically be a graduate student next autumn, he is permitted by NCAA rule stop transfer anywhere without having to sit out a year. And guess who has an opening? Oregon, which finished as the national runner-up and just lost its Heisman Trophy-winning QB, Marcus Mariota, to graduation and the NFL.

So Adams opts to transfer to Oregon –I would say the Ducks are rolling out the red carpet for him, but have you seen the field on which Adams has operated the past three seasons?– which he is permitted to do. And while he won’t be singing any Beach Boys tunes any time soon (“Be True To Your School”), the move puts him in better position to showcase his talents for an NFL career.

All fine. But, you see, Adams still must finish this semester at Eastern Washington. And guess who is the first team on Eastern Washington’s schedule next season? That’s right, the Ducks. So Eagle coach Beau Baldwin has banned Adams from using EWU’s weight room and other training facilities, a move that some people may consider “petty.”

Although I don’t understand why. Those facilities are for EWU student-athletes, which is something that Adams, of his own accord, chose to no longer be. Further, why is it okay for Adams to do something that A) benefits Adams and B) is perfectly within the rules, but it is not okay for Eastern Washington to do the same thing?

I was a little surprised while watching PTI that Michael Wilbon agreed with me. Adams was a credit to EWU and they are appreciative. They also gave him a free education and room and board for three years. He voluntarily chose to leave and, by choosing the school that he did, put himself in an adversarial role with his teammates and coaches for the first game of the season (a game they will not win, anyway, but why capitulate?). Baldwin’s loyalties are to his players and his university. Good for him.

Remote Patrol

Roman Holiday

TCM 9:45 p.m.

Gregory Peck and, in her first film, the luminous Audrey Hepburn (who won a Best Actress Oscar). In black-and-white. In Rome. A princess goes AWOL for a day and runs into a charming and dashing newsman (happens to me all the time). If you haven’t seen this yet, you haven’t seen RomComs. Speaking of which, three of Hollywood’s hottest at the time –Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall and Betty Grable — are your warm-up act at 8 p.m. in How To Marry a Millionaire (which gave us the tune “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”).