Starting Five
1. NFL Films’ impresario Steve Sabol dies of brain cancer at the age of 69. The NFL exploded in popularity in the early 1970s, and Sabol’s company was there not only to record it but also to present it in a way, tantamount to mythology, that no one had ever seen before.
2. (Urge…too…overwhelming) Sleepless from Seattle How about Cheery O’s: In a game that ended at nearly 4 a.m. on the east coast, the Baltimore Orioles defeated the Seattle Mariners in 18 innings. For the O’s, it was their 14th consecutive win in extra innings and their ninth victory without a loss on the road this season in free frames. The Mariners, by the way, have won exactly 47% of their games this season and are in last place in the American League West.
3. Mon dieu! French magazines: Topless pics of the Duchess followed by nudie cartoons of the prophet Mohammed. (Note to self: Politely decline offer from Charlie Hebdo to become its new in-house editor)
4. Real Madrid defeats reigning EPL champ Manchester City, 3-2, in opening game of the Champions League on a goal in the 90th minute by this man…
Portuguese Man-of-War on the pitch…
5. “SMILE!” Arkansas coach John L. Smith channels his inner Mr. Roarke.
Arkansas’ coach prepares to welcome Rutgers to Fayetteville this Saturday…
Reserves
“Nobody is going to class tomorrow morning. Those smart kids at Stanford, they’re not going to class!” Because tomorrow is Sunday, after all, and also classes in Palo Alto don’t begin until September 24. But technically, Erin Andrews was correct. Actually, we’re a little surprised that more bloggers and pundits — and Twitterati — have yet to opine on her, “Joey, where’s your tree?” query to co-host Joey Harrington. (“I got your tree right here…”)
Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart — not the former Oregon running back, at least we don’t believe so — extracts his Fish-in-a-Barrel gun from the weapons cabinet and takes dead aim at GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Politics aside, why is it that the The Daily Show staff continuously outperforms other news staffs in terms of research?
Jesus was married? That’s what a Harvard professor says. It’s times such as these when a hungry nation cries out desperately for Fr. Guido Sarducci to appear and provide details on the wedding toasts (“Jesus and I met in the 7th grade…”), the gift registry and where the couple honeymooned (the Virgin Islands? No, too easy. Easter Island? Better.)
Hoping that Seth Meyers places a call to this Vatican correspondent this week…
CSNNE sportscaster Trenni Kusnierek bravely reveals her battle with depression in MilwaukeeMag.com.
You cannot spell Brooklyn without “OK” in the middle (well, you can, but then you’ve got Brolyn, which sounds like something bros do when they hang out together). Anyway, these new Nets jerseys — if indeed they are that — are more than OK.
Remember, in early August, when Cincinnati Reds closer Aroldis Chapman beaned Pittsburgh Pirate Andrew McCutchen, a leader in the NL MVP race, with two outs and nobody on in the ninth inning and the Bucs down 3-0? Oh, the pitch was traveling about 101 m.p.h. And remember when Pittsburgh made no move to retaliate? The Pirates, who were 60-45 at the time and firmly in playoff position, are 14-28 since (74-73 overall). (Give McCutchen credit: His non-reaction to being pelted is priceless. Two for flinching? Never, with Andrew McCutchen).
“I’m really excited about that show ‘Goon’,” says Ryan Lochte/Seth MacFarlane.
Rejoice, America: Jay Mariotti is back writing columns and ripping the Chicago Bears (from 1,800 miles away). You will notice that Jay’s glass is more than half empty.
Mama Biebs tells Ellen Degeneres that she’s been celibate for 16 years… and that she’s hoping to medal in the 2016 Olympics!
Will MacAvoy Keith Olbermann laughing maniacally…
Someone in New York City won the lottery last night. Thank you, Lindsey Lohan.
Lance Armstrong is banned from running the Chicago Marathon on October 7 (and don’t blame the Chicago Marathon). Really, all the guy wants do to is compete in races and while doing so, he happens to inspire thousands, or hundreds of thousands, of cancer survivors. Is that so wrong?