STARTING FIVE

Pox on FOX, and Fox in Sox, as reported by UpRoxx

1. Hackers Give AJ Chicken Pox

So reportedly hackers, upset that they went ahead and made the film Unbroken, found a way to give the film’s director, Angelina Jolie, chicken pox. Okay, I’m just being goofy. They didn’t do this. They did give Sidney Crosby the mumps, though.

2. Vanilla Funk

The Yankees are practically giving away $13 million a year contracts. It’s as if Crazy Eddie AND Jos. A Bank are the general manager.

Chase Heady (“That’s Headley!”). Really, New York? He’s a nice ballplayer, I guess. The nice thing about the four-year, $52 million deal is that the Yankees are not asking the third baseman to lose weight.

3. For Pete’s Sake

His jokes, her jumper. What a family.

SNL Rookie of the Year Pete Davidson –at least in the early voting– is six-foot-three, which is something you’d never consider when you see him slouch at the “Weekend Update” desk. Posture, my man! Anyway, his younger sister, Casey Davidson, is a five-foot-ten high school senior who averaged 23.7 points per game in her first three games of the season thus far for Staten Island St. Joseph’s By-the-Sea, which is really kinda by where New York Harbor meets that sexy part of the Atlantic Ocean that leads to the Atlantic Highlands.

Anyway, mom is proud.

4. Why Does Roger Goodell Hate Mike Tirico & Jon Gruden?

Saints 31, Bears 15.

Packers 43, Falcons 37 (it was a huge blowout for most of the game)

Dolphins 16, Jets 13.

If it seems as if Sunday Night Football has been getting far superior games than Monday Night Football this season, that’s because it has. Since Week 1, there has not been one MNF game that featured two probable playoff teams. The closest thing to a quality matchup was Patriots at Chiefs and that game was a posterior-whuppin’, as the Chiefs rocked the Fighting Garoppolos, 41-14.

5. Jimmy John’s

Last year Kimmel’s elves turned the Krasinski-Blunt domicile into a winter wonderland complete with carolers and a Guillermo

Jimmy Kimmel, John Krasinski and Krasinski’s actress wife, Emily Blunt, have a pretty good Yule duel of pranks going. This clip reviews its history and reveals the latest shot fired. Good stuff.