STARTING FIVE
Just because they don’t want to physically devour your flesh does not mean this is not a post-apocalyptic world.
1. The Shopping Dead
As the Tweet of God said earlier today, “Unhappy? Have you thought about buying things?”
50% off at Bloodbath & Beyond
And now Black Friday has moved up to 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving, which is compromising the true spirit and meaning of…Black Friday. Sacrilege!
2. Thigh of the Tiger
LSU true freshman tailback Leonard Fournette steamrolls Texas A&M safety Howard Matthews on the way to a 22-yard touchdown run in the first half of last night’s win at Kyle Field. By the way, the Dallas Cowboys, Texas and Texas A&M lost last night. So if you loathe Texas…
Anyway, Fournette’s run reminded many of us of then SEC frosh Herschel Walker plowing over Tennessee safety Bill Bates, and here’s hoping Matthews has as bright a future as Bates. Though he was not selected in the NFL draft, Bates played 15 seasons for the Dallas Cowboys and now owns three Super Bowl rings.
Bates survived Herschel’s hit, and then played 15 NFL seasons…
(And, yes, that means that Bates and Walker were teammates in Big D for a few seasons).
The 1980s was the best decade for college running backs: Herschel Walker (the best I ever saw), Bo Jackson, Marcus Allen, Barry Sanders and, even if he only gave us a glimpse of his greatness, Marcus Dupree.
By the way, Fournette can take a hit, too. Here he is returning a kickoff (Les, are you crazy?!?) versus Bama and getting Sharknado’d by fellow five-star recruit Reuben Foster.
3. Pilgrims’ Progress
. 
1620: Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock
1621: First Thanksgiving between Pilgrims and Native Americans. Traffic was light on I-95.
1627: All land in Plymouth Colony is divided into private property.
1637: First Pequot War. Colonists and Narragansett Indians (“It was you, Fredo”) ally to crush the Pequot Indians, who resisted colonial advance. Some 400 Pequots are burned inside their fort and a handful, at most, escape. And Great White wasn’t even the house band (too soon?).
1675: King Philip’s War in New England. King Philip was actually an Indian chief named Metacom, who sounds like he’d be an All-Pro wide receiver. Biggest Indian war yet. Metacom eventually killed and his family sold into slavery.
I guess my point is how we refer to Native Americans, or even if we name teams after them without using slurs, is really not what the offensive thing is here.
4. Strange But Sadly True
Austalian cricketer Phil Hughes died two days after being struck by a bouncer in the neck during a match. The 25 year-old swung and missed at bowler Sean Abbott’s delivery. The ball struck him at the top of the neck and literally split an artery in his neck, causing a massive brain bleed. Hughes lost consciousness on the pitch and never regained it. His family were in the stands in Sydney watching.
Karageorge
Meanwhile in Columbus, Ohio State walk-on defensive lineman Kosta Karageorge has been missing since 2 a.m. Wednesday morning. Apparently, the 6-3, 273-pound senior, a Columbus native who also wrestled for the Buckeyes, walked out of his apartment (“extenuating circumstances” were mentioned) without his wallet and left on foot. He has not been seen since. Police have traced his cell phone to another neighborhood in Columbus but have yet to recover it. Stay tuned. This will probably only get weirder.
5. Arthur’s Quest
There is a reason they call it DOGGED determination…
When real life is better than a Disney film (although I imagine this will be). At the Adventure Racing World Championship in Ecuador, the Swedish foursome, Peak Performance, stops for a bite. A member shares a meatball with a local stray dog.
The pooch then decides not to leave the team’s side throughout its 430-mile trek. They name their new teammate Arthur as in the knights of King Arthur. At the end of the journey one of the Swedes adopts him.
Be kind to animals. Always be kind to animals.
Reserves
Thomas Lake of SI.com with a transcendent piece on last year’s Iron Bowl… And by the way, it’s worth noting that Mr. Lake has an associate’s degree from Herkimer Community College and a B.A. from Gordon College as magazine and on-line editors comb through Ivy League resumes looking for the next Tom Junod.
Remote Patrol
College Football Bounty
If, like me, you like to at least TRY to stay in shape, exercise before noon on Friday and Saturday.
Will the Bruins’ Brett Hundley have a rematch vs. Mariota and the Ducks?
FRIDAY
Arizona State at Arizona
Territorial Cup. First time both Sun Devils and Cats have had 9 wins since 1975. Winner gets Oregon for Pac-12 title IF UCLA loses…
FOX 3:30 p.m.
Stanford at UCLA
…and the Bruins have lost six straight to the Cardinal (but they will win today).
SATURDAY
Michigan at Ohio State
ABC Noon
You know how you can throw out the records in rivalry games? Not here, not today.
Georgia Tech at Georgia
SEC Net Noon
The Yellow Jackets are the team that enters assured of a berth in ITS conference title game.
Minnesota at Wisconsin
BTN 3:30 p.m.
You want to see Melvin Gordon rush for 428, don’t you?
Mississippi State at Ole Miss (The Egg Bowl)
CBS 3:30 p.m.
It’s your only chance, Bulldogs. Meanwhile, rumors of Hugh Freeze moving on to Gainesville…
ABC 3:30 p.m.
Florida at Florida State
Zook ’em, Gators!
ESPN 3:30 p.m.
Baylor at Texas Tech
ABC 3:30 p.m.
TCOB time for Art Briles’ gang…
Auburn at Alabama
ESPN 7:45 p.m.
The last time Bama lost at Auburn, they followed up with a 49-0 beatdown of WDE.
Oregon at Oregon State
ABC 8 p.m.
The Civil War. The Beavers took down a Top 10 ASU team two weeks ago in Corvallis. Can they at least make it close today?
Utah State at Boise State
ESPN2 10:15 p.m.
Broncos garner a “New Year’s Six” Bowl with a win.
For someone so horrified at holiday shopping, I imagine today truly is BLACK Friday. (BTW, I think you inspired a new Xmas TV movie – it’s called ‘Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever’).
Meanwhile, as someone whose stock portfolio is heavy (OH, soooooo heavy) in “energy” stocks, today is my own personal BLACK FRIDAY & I’ve been nowhere near a mall or ‘big box store”! O.M.G. It seems OPEC is trying to break the US oil & nat gas companies because they’ve been EATING into their profits. I’m not sure if I’d call this a ‘Hail Mary’ as OPEC wasn’t about to go under but I still view this as a “desperation play”. The LAST thing the OPEC countries want is for the USA not to need THEIR oil. Meanwhile, if you cock your ear to the East, I think you can hear Russia & Kazakhstan screaming ‘nooooooooooo!!!!!!’.
I’m looking forward to all the Rivalry CFB games. Not quite as much as seeing Sweet Pea being more his old self the last 2 Cavs games, but still excited to hit the sofa & clicker with equal abandon tomorrow.