STARTING FIVE
Welcome to the Prairie?
1. The Last Audacious Video
It was the summer of 1992. People were actually listening to Extreme and wondering if that Seinfeld show would ever become funny.
And Guns ‘n Roses ruled the earth, notorious for sometimes not taking the stage –even at stadium shows –til after midnight (presumably after each member had banged four to six supermodels).
But they were ambitious. And talented. And while Axl, Slash, Duff and the gang probably should have trimmed Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II into one classic album (just as Bruce Springsteen should’ve done the same with Lucky Town and Human Touch that same year), there’s no denying that they were sober (or not) just long enough to pen a 1970’s style rock-and-roll epic that would come in at 8:57, long enough for any FM deejay to sneak off for a piss or a toke.
As a song, this is the equivalent to David Lean’s Lawrence of Arabia. As a video, it’s just as epic, what with supermodels, spilled/tossed alcohol, a church in the middle of New Mexico, and Stephanie Seymour. It’s in the fine tradition of George Michael’s Freedom ’90 (the greatest video of all time) and I do believe MTV never aired a video again that reached so high as a piece of cinema.
22 Novembers later, Stephanie Seymour graces the cover of this mag and still looks as if she could slay Axl’s muse (which she did)
And because it’s November, and because who wants to hear me prattle on for five grafs about a movie starring Keanu Reeves and a terminally ill Charlize Theron, I thought we’d salute it here. Slash may have “no idea” what the video’s about, but who cares? I don’t know what Stairway to Heaven is about, either.
By the way, I may alienate a few fans here, but November Rain slightly better than Purple Rain and Rain King, although Have You Ever Seen The Rain? may trump them all.
2. It IS Rocket Science
Swoopes, Thompson, Cooper: Do not even TRY landing on us.
Apparently, a space probe named Philae landed on a comet named 67P (in the future, we will all have such names) some 310 million miles from earth. Medium Happy is dispatching its science reporter, Jason Anstey, to 67P for comments. Godspeed, Jason.
Meanwhile, The Cardigans issued a press release to remind all that they were the “First Band on the Moon.”
Landing a space probe on a comet is not easy (nor do I have any idea what purpose it serves). You know what is easy? Buying stock in Apple (AAPL) and Alibaba (BABA) and then just putting your feet up. It’s Julius Thomas-easy. That easy.*
*Apple is up 32% in the past six months while Alibaba, which went public less than two months ago, is up 42% this month. Try getting any hedge fund to promise you even a 10% return on an entire year.
3. Plus Model? Well, it IS an Add
Delbasio, 27, is a former Miss Teen Wisconsin. People have been saying “cheese” around her all her life. These are the jokes, folks.
The Nontroversy of the Week occurred when Calvin Klein debuted this ad featuring Wisconsin native Myla Delbasio, 27, as a “plus-size” model. Delbasio, a Size 10, is five-foot-eleven (I have no idea if she ever played college sports, but I doubt it).
Obviously, Miss Delbasio (no relation to that other Italian-American Wisconsin native, Laverne DeFazio) fails to fit the standard American ideal of “plus-size,” though relative to CK alum Kate Moss, she is. But while everyone was busy harrumph-harrumph-harrumphing over this, Calvin Klein garnered a lot of free attention. Well played, CK.
Meanwhile, in college football, TCU moved ahead of Alabama in the CFP rankings, which got lots of people harrumphing (Phyllis in Mulga?), but who cares. The Tide host No. 1 Mississippi State on Saturday. If they win, they’re in the Top 4; if not, they’re out. Simmer down now!
4. I Would Drive 500 Miles (And I Would Drive 500 More!)
The Baja 1,000 kicks off today from Ensenada, Mexico. Like most auto races, its title is self-explanatory: drive 1,000 miles through the Mexican Baja peninsula, which someday people will appreciate for the gold mine that it is: Imagine a Pacific coastline the length of California, south of California (i.e., warmer) that is mostly uninhabited. Hey, Andy Dufresne was no dummy (actually, Zihuatanejo is south of the peninsula, but I’m not going to waste a good Shawshank joke).
The Baja 1000 is the surest way to get your ass killed in Mexico that does not involve drug lords.
Anyway, Porge and Jones (sibling and GFOB) will be there today. As will, oddly enough, Bruce Jenner.
5. Eight Men Outstanding
The longest football win streak that we are aware of, pro, college or high school, belongs to tiny Parhanagat Valley High, which is located in Alamo, Nev. (which, let’s face it, sounds fictitious), about 100 miles north of Las Vegas. PVHS, which plays eight-man football due to its school size (below 100 students) has won 79 in a row following last Friday night’s 60-0 win over Sandy Valley (Nev.) The Panthers host Carlin High in a state playoff game tomorrow nigh as they shoot for 80 in a row.
Where in the World?
Our semi-popular series returns! I don’t know where I left off the last time, but if you can find the date, I’ll tell you the name of the place…
Remote Patrol
The Philadelphia Story
TCM 11 p.m.
This film is an all-timer. At worst, DVR it tonight.
“Ah, South Bend…it sounds like spring time.” That’s Kate Hepburn as a divorced society dame fending off the matrimonial advances of Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant (who is younger here, and not quite as irresistible as he’d be in later films such as North By Northwest and An Affair To Remember). It’s a film that reminds some of us of our on-line dating experiences.
Who’s this Jason we speak of? A distant cousin of mine you’ve never told me about?
Again, congrats with your BABA, but please, PLEASE don’t have too much % of your portfolio in that stock. Based on my personal experience with several Chinese stocks, I now believe the Chinese definition of “business” & “investment” basically amounts to “steal as much money from gullible Americans as possible”.
As for APPL, yippeeeeeee! After egregiously overpaying for Beats, I worried it was all down hill, but at least for now, things are still looking UP.
And please, a little empathy for those of us whose portfolios are heavy in the energy sector. (Bows head, stifles tear). However, it has been a opportunity to buy LOW (ok, loooooowwwwww) & I have. Whenever gas gets back close to $5/gallon, I’ll be smiling. I must say though, that whole “Buy low, sell high” thing is a lot easier SAID than done. Once more, into the breach!
About the CFB Playoff “standings” – it’s a HOOT! I was very upset I couldn’t get home in time last night to hear Bamafanphyllis on Finebaum’s show. Her blasting of “Cowturd” a few weeks ago was radio at its finest or its nadir, depending on one’s school/state/comedy affiliation. The people who SHOULD be upset are Buckeye fans! There’s a chance they can get in there but, well, up till now I’ve refrained from jumping into the WHAT IF pool, because it’s a WASTE OF TIME in the middle of the season! But, with less than a month to go, I’m jumping into the deep end, so here goes –
WHAT –
IF Bama beats Miss State – does Miss state then fall out of the Top 4? Or only slide to 4?
IF Bama then loses to Auburn in Iron Bowl- I assume that means it’s over for Bama, right? Wouldn’t Miss State go to the SEC Championship game if they win the rest of their games (including over Ole Miss)?
But IF Miss State loses to Ole Miss, even if Bama loses to Auburn, who goes to the SEC champ game? Wouldn’t it be Bama? And if/when they win there (unless this year’s SEC-Eastern division “winner” pull off the upset of the season), that would mean Bama is in the Playoff? Drats.
But IF both Miss State and Bama have 2 losses, they wouldn’t be ahead of Ohio State if they win out, would they?
IF Fla State loses to Miami or the Gators or even, gulp, DUKE in the ACC championship game? Hey, any of those could happen! I personally would not bet any money, but stranger things have happened just this year. I think the committee (& the rest of the country beyond a 100 miles radius of Tallahassee) is dying to keep FSU out of the NCG, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
IF Oregon loses to Ariz State in PAC-12 championship, does that mean Ariz State is definitely in?
I’ve not watched Baylor at all this year & only saw TCU against WVA (where they were LOSING the entire game until the last minute & I STILL can’t believe they “won” that game!) so don’t feel qualified to opine but hey, when does that stop any of the media ‘experts’? I assume only ONE of these team will be in the Playoff, no matter what?
IF, IF, IF! Where is Kipling when you need him?
“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs …”
And come on, nothing HERE about your change of heart/mind? Your, er, capitulation? I STILL haven’t recovered from the shock. 🙂
Jacob: Names are often changed to protect the innocent.
Best,
Josh Walters
Hmm, I just “posted” this but it didn’t appear –
Correction – my “yipppeeees” are for AAPL & not APPL. Which makes you wonder if some poor soul out there ever bought APPL when he thought he was buying Apple. Sounds like a book title – “An Accidental P”. 😉
I was hoping that you’d ask if “An Accidental P” would be a best seller. I would have replied – “it depends”. DEPENDS, get it? Ok, I’ll stop now.
Anyhoo, my AAPL (not to be tragically confused with APPL) officially hit 3-bagger status this week. As of today, I’m up 212%. Yahoooooo! And speaking of YHOO, I’m up 470% in it, so a 6-bagger is soon within reach. Yahoo was my 2nd-ever stock purchase back in Nov 2008 (right after AMZN). Bought it at $9. What I remember most is that almost ALL the business/investment “experts” trotted out hourly on CNBC for pretty much MOST of the last 6 years said YHOO was “worthless”. Yeah, some of these guys even recommended RIMM instead (which, I , um, er, made my 3rd purchase a few weeks later, but hey can’t win ’em ALL!). Anyway, I bought 100 shares of YHOO & put about a $1000 in RIMM. Do I wish I’d bought 200 shares of YHOO & skipped RIMM? Haha, only every single day.
I still own RIMM (now BBRY) – mostly as a LESSON to myself. I actually tripled the # of shares I own by buying BBRY when it fell to $6 a few years back. My goal (actually hope at that point) was to lower my cost basis so that if/when BBRY was bought out, I could possibly get “back to even” (ah, yes, the losing investor’s eternal hope). I’ve got 20% to go. Besides my own negative result, I often think of anyone who had bought RIMM in 2008 before July, when it was going for around $140/sh. Sheesh. I thought I was getting a “steal” in the low $30s. Honestly, reading & then watching what happened with this company/stock the past 6 years has been a better investing lesson than ALL the books & magazine articles I’ve read in the past 25 years.