Starting Five
I would not tell this man how to vote
1. Thistle Never Do
Scotland, when the sun is shining, may be my favorite place on the globe. Really. I mean, just look at this shot of the Isle of Skye (even the name is magical):
But there’s this part of Scotland, too:
So, yes, when it comes to Thursday’s independence vote, we can trot out the usual tropes: William Wallace, Nessie, Trainspotting, “Head! Move! NOW!”, The Last King of Scotland, Scotch, Non-Paul haggis, etc.
I don’t know the answer. I do believe, though, that a better symbol for a Scottish independence movement than a unicorn would be a hooligan named Begbie.
No, this is not Begbie. This is his saner mate, Renton
“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a bleepin’ big television. Choose washing machines…choose independence?”
Scotland will trade independence in exchange for someone ridding them of Roose Bolton and Mance Rayder
One final thing. If you’ve ever watched the opening of Game of Thrones (one of the best TV themes ever written, by the way), or paged through the inside cover of one of George R.R. Martin’s books, it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to picture Westeros as Great Britain, and hence you can picture The Wall as either Hadrian’s Wall or the border between England and Scotland. Either way, this makes the Scots the Wildlings. Sure, Mr. Martin is a proud native of Bayonne, N.J., but still I believe he may have been making a point.
And of course our favorite Brit, John Oliver, had some thoughts.
2. NO (tre Dame)
“Also receiving votes…”
So here’s Drew Sharp, Detroit Free Press columnist and AP voter, explaining how come he did not find a spot for the 3-0 Fighting Irish in his AP ballot this week:
“The Irish were a 28-point favorite against Purdue on Saturday but struggled before adding a little distance in the fourth quarter…”
First, peruse Mr. Sharp’s ballot. You will notice that Georgia, Stanford and USC, all teams that have been favored in the past two weeks “but struggled” before, well, losing, are still on it. As is Florida, a team that was favored at home versus unranked Kentucky “but struggled” before winning in three overtimes.
I’ll admit, this makes me angry. But not for the reason you may think. Notre Dame is too high in this week’s poll (No. 9) and I honestly have no problem with anyone ranking them anywhere in the Top 25. Put ’em at No. 24. Fine.
The reason this rankles me so much is that I think of having spent a full year waiting tables when I was between jobs in sports writing, and yet this clown probably earns six figures while either trolling for the sake of the attention or going far out of his way to show prejudice against one program.
Mr. Sharp, the point spread should not inform your ballot. The game should. But if you do apply such a cynical guideline, then apply it evenly.
Also, maybe Mr. Sharp was appealing to his Wolverine fan base with this vote (and while Michigan isn’t in his Top 25, either, the difference is that even every Ann Arborian knows they don’t belong, so it’s not as if he went out on a limb with that exclusion), I don’t know.
The funny part? I actually like Sharp’s top ten.
I used to think Rob Parker was the stupidest sports writer person from Detroit. It pains me to think that he has competition.
And if you are wondering who in the AP poll voted Notre Dame next lowest, yes, it was Scott Wolf, who has the Irish at 17.
Oh, and yes, I realize the AP poll has no actual effect on which four teams make the playoff. So I’m getting all lathered up over an anachronism.
This week’s Medium Happy Eight:
I was a little discomfited on Saturday night listening to a pair of ESPN announcers dissect ‘trill’ (“true + real” in rap vernacular) and Bun B.
1) Texas A&M 2) Oregon 3) Oklahoma 4) Florida State 5) Alabama 6) Auburn 7) LSU 8) Baylor
Meanwhile, Georgia has first-and-goal from the four and the best running back in college football and Mark Richt opts to be cute. Give Vince Dooley credit: he was always smart enough to hand the ball to Herschel at the goal line when the season was on the line. Georgia, disappointing us for 34 straight years.
I still like Gurley Man as my Grange favorite, and plays like this are why.
3. New York, New York (New York)
Kazantsev has already been drafted by the Medium Happy Flip Cup team
For the third consecutive year, Miss New York wins Miss America (which is the Maryann to the Miss USA’s Ginger). Kira Kazantsev, a first-generation American whose parents are from Russia and who actually grew up in Walnut Creek, Calif., before attending Hofstra (“on the Island”) won thanks in part to her fandom of “Pitch Perfect.”
(Kazantsev shrewdly entered as a New York, wisely avoiding the Group of Death that is California. An Alabama native used the same ploy two years ago with similar success).
Kazantsev performed “Cups” to the tune “Happy,” thus aping Beca’s audition for the Bellas. Honestly, I’d have preferred to see her singing “Titanium” in the shower (with Brittany Snow, of course…”That’s my jam”), but that’s just me. Or at least for Kira to walk onstage and say, “I didn’t know we had to prepare that song…”
4. Outlier
Gladwell ran a 3:55 1500, equivalent to about a 4:14 mile, back in college.
Author Malcolm Gladwell, age 51, runs a 4:54 in the Fifth Avenue Mile on Saturday in New York. As one clever fellow noted on Twitter, he probably spent 10,000 hours running to achieve this goal. Seriously, this is an incredible feat of feets. To break five minutes at any age as a non-professional runner is prit-tte, prit-tee good.
5. “And I Would Also Like All the Amputees to Put Their Hands in the Air Like They Just Don’t Care…”
He also said he won’t perform again unless RGIII starts next week for the Redskins
You’ve heard about or read about this by now. Kanye West, no stranger to making an ass of himself due to his Guinness World Record-sized ego, attempts to bully two concertgoers in Sydney into standing up. Except that they are physically unable to do so.
Huge throng of people, a command to rise, but where one man could make it happen, another cannot. This is the difference between Jesus and Yeezus.
Reserves
Terrific interview by Richard Deitsch (not to be confused with another former colleague of mine at SI named Richard Deutsch, though how can you blame anyone?) with Fox Sports’ Charissa Thompson. Great reveal: She once married a guy because he saw that she was about to dump him so he went all in.
My favorite quote from the piece: “Yes, there are a lot of blondes here, but all the blondes are different.” (Speaking of which, Happy Birthday to former FOX Sports blonde Mary Strong-Sullivan, who is now a successful yoga entrepeneur in both Manhattan Beach and North Berkeley, Calif. Visit The Green Yogi and get your shakra on.)
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Former Baltimore Ray-ven Ray Lewis pulls the “If God is for us, who can be against?” card on NFL Countdown yesterday. My answer: the two dudes in Atlanta who were murdered. Nobody on TV uses more words to say less than Lewis. He’s a medicine show masquerading as an NFL analyst.
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Really, Urban Outfitters, really?
Do you mind if I wait until you package this with the Sharon Tate maternity wear.
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Is this what you were talking about, Katie Nolan? Because I think Hannah Storm nailed it.
Hold on, lemme get my “boomer” hat on – “URBAN OUTFITERS SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED ON A FIELD AGAIN!” Update – the sweatshirt is NOW being sold on ebay for $550… “EBAY SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED ON A FIELD AGAIN!” Boom! CLAP!
I like & admire Hannah Storm as a sports broadcaster & I like & admire you. But I’d like to ask – is it really the NFL or any pro sports organization’s job to set laws in this country or even “just” affect social change? The latter sounds laudable but is it the job of those orgs? Don’t we really just want them to produce the most entertaining product? I think Hannah asked (as have others this past week), WHY the NFL & the Ravens waited until the 2nd tape was revealed before they “took action”. Really? You have to ask that question? Have you taken note of all the OTHER cases of pro athletes committing & being charged with violent acts just the past 5-10 years? And what about the guy who killed his best friend (& teammate) because he drove drunk not quite 2 years ago? He’s thisclose to being on the field again. WHY isn’t he still in prison? Where is the wailing about this? He KILLED someone. Isn’t that worse than knocking someone unconscious?
I don’t really mean to be defending the NFL because, heck, I’ve been disgusted with that organization for a couple decades but the screaming & pontificating being done about this single case is ludicrous. FACT – visual evidence is always powerful. However, anyone who professes “shock” about what appears on that elevator tape is IGNORANT or delusional about what VIOLENCE really looks like. After seeing the 1st tape, I actually thought what happened on that elevator would be far, far worse. Still, Rice did commit violence against his “then fiancée/now wife”, so he needs to be punished. But if the legal system doesn’t throw him in jail, why is the NFL allowed to throw him out of work? And why can they keep changing his punishment?
As for why these guys aren’t punished by their sports organizations before an actual conviction – remember a few months ago when Kaepernick was supposedly involved in a sexual assault case? It was all over social AND the mainstream media. Turns out he had NOTHING to do with it. The PUBLIC was ready to judge the guy based on RUMOUR. Let’s just suppose Rice had been suspended for 10-16 games based on his “confession” & what was seen on the 1st tape. And next year, the elevator tape is leaked & we see him holding back his girlfriend from repeatedly hitting him & she falls down & hits her head. You ask – why did he confess then? What if he felt such remorse about how he acted when he dragged her out of the elevator & that he also believed he caused the argument that he felt the need to take the blame?
I dunno, I guess part of what’s chapped my ass the past week is all these people NOW jumping on the “domestic abuse” bandwagon. Where the hell were they even five years ago? And instead of asking why it took the 2nd tape to get the NFL/Ravens to act, why did it take that tape for THEM to care?
I’ll put up with a lot from you, Susie B., but I won’t have you spelling “rumor” as if you’re British or a member of Fleetwood Mac (or both, which is possible).
JW, have you no remourse?
‘Thistle do’ is exactly how people describe my hair on any given day.
My defense – I bought & listened to that album till the grooves wore out. So rumour has it. 😉
Also, you forgot one famous Scot – “She’s giving it all she can, Cap’n!” (Scotty, the universe’s 1st “beamer”)
What team(s) does Notre Dame have to beat before Drew Not-Sharp puts them on his AP poll? The Domer – Zipperhead match-up was the only game I saw in its entirety on Saturday & while I was a wee bit concerned (ok, more than wee) till it was in the bag, Golson still played like a Heisman contender AND they did win.
Possibly the reason the Domers played so dull was their “special” uniforms. At least on my TV, the uniform numbers did not look golden, but dull like putty. Blah! I have to say MY alma mater’s “special” unis were more eye-catching & unique – what other team will EVER have the Star Spangled Banner written out on the helmets & sleeves? (ok, who would want, but still). And with a symbol on the helmet that to everyone EXCEPT Marylanders looked like a turtle or crab but was actually a depiction of Fort McHenry itself? Oh say can you see, it virtually begged? Yes, yes we did!
Re the Isle of Skye: Ione wish I could be there.