STARTING FIVE
What’s a banker gotta do to get thrown in jail? (that’s a trick question)
1. $hame on U$
A Florida woman (oh boy) is headed to jail for six months (what’d she do?) for having sex in the town square, actually in the gazebo (that’s not a euphemism). The woman, who is 68, a grandmother of 14 and has been married for 50 years, is about to become the post-menopausal Piper Chapman.
Meanwhile, the Bank of America has just settled with the U.S. Government for the sweet, sweet price of $17 billion for its MAJOR role in precipitating the sub-prime mortgage crisis that basically helped put millions of people either out of work or their homes or both in the 2000s. But, you know, that’s just the cost of doing business. No Bank of America executives will do even an hour of jail time.
This country’s priorities are simply F”ed up.
2. The Pooh Grass State
Johnson: Drops bombs before, after, and during interviews
A refreshingly candid interview with University of Kentucky freshman football player Cory Johnson, who weighs 280 to 300 pounds. Asked how come his weight fluctuates so markedly, Johnson replied, “Because I poop so much.” My heart warms to know that the Don Yaeger School of Canned Quotage –the former SI scribe actually travels to schools and teaches players how to give boring, canned answers, and schools pay him for this service; it’s like a former fireman teaching you how to set fires; Do I seem a little feisty today? Yes, I have feist) has yet to corrupt Johnson’ s glib and candid soul. Poop on, my man! Poop on!
3. Lollapaloser
Bite victim Ben Lenet.
Yes, a “zombie” bit a fan in the arm during the Arctic Monkeys’ set at Lollapalooza in Chicago last weekend. And just because of that I’m going to post this awful Eighties tune…
4. Spurs and Heels
Gregg Popovich is one sneaky radical. First, he becomes the first NBA coach to build the nucleus of his team around not one but a trio of foreign-born players, and now he becomes the first to hire a female as a full-salaried assistant coach. Kudos to Becky Hammon, who played high school ball in South Dakota and was not even selected in the WNBA Draft out of Colorado State. Hammon, 37, is now in her 16th WNBA season. She perseveres. Pop obviously respects that.
5. Plumb Loco
What was the El Pollo Loco motive for going public?
I can honestly say that I’ve never dined at El Pollo Loco –but then, I would never tell you that I am dishonestly saying something, would I?– and I bet many of the people who have invested in it since its IPO less than two weeks ago have, either.
But they do watch the markets. And they have noticed that Chipotle (CMG) has seen its stock rise about 700% since it went public in 2009. So when El Pollo Loco, which is only in California, Texas, and a couple of other western states and specializes in fresh grilled chicken with a Mexican accent, issued its IPO two Fridays ago, the stock (LOCO) went, well, loco. From a start price of about $19 it rose all the way to $42, or more than 100%, in about four days. It’s currently just over $38, or still above 100%.
I think the money that was there to be made in LOCO has already been made, for now. Meanwhile, when will In-N-Out Burger go public?
BAC did not cause the subprime mortgage crisis although it certainly did have its hand in the till, along with the rest of big banks, Wall Street, & the REAL ESTATE & home building industries.
Subprime mortgages began in California – specifically Orange County. Why? Because of the insane housing prices & greed. Back in 2008, I tried to figure why/how all this came about because I couldn’t find the answers in any of the articles that were written at the time. I looked at median incomes & median home prices for the entire country & some states & counties in particular over a period of 20-30 years. For decades, the price of a median house in this country was roughly 3 times the median household income. This started dramatically changing around 2000. By 2006, the median house cost 4 times the country’s median household income. I’ve lived in what’s considered a “rich” county for the past 30 years (Montgomery County, MD) & by 2006, the median house here cost about 6 times the median income. That looked alarming but NOTHING compared to Orange County, CA, where the median house cost 10 times (TEN TIMES!) the median income. Any idiot should have seen that was NOT SUSTAINABLE. The ONLY way the average household could afford a house in those areas were with these ridiculous mortgages. But by that time, too many people, companies, & industries were getting RICH off the proceeds.
CNBC did a documentary the next year & they nailed it with 3 words – HOUSE OF CARDS.
Anyhoo, full disclosure – I actually own a little stock in BAC. (Drew the line at AIG though, gotta have SOME standards!). Started buying in 2009 & my last purchase was in 2011 at $5/share. My avg cost basis is around $8. Have been waiting for the dividend to finally increase & HAPPY DAY yesterday! Divy increasing 5 times, from $.01 to $.05!
One of the best things that ever happened to me was Economic Armageddon 2008 – made me pay more attention to my 401k (where on paper, my mutual funds dropped by 51%), finally realize that retirement was NO LONGER “40 years away”, be VERY thankful I had a job, & most of all, have to take TOTAL RESPONSIBLITY for my personal economics. Deciding to start investing in individual stocks in Nov 2008 & having my 1st stock purchase be 50 shares of AMZN at $36 has also not been bad either. 😉