STARTING FIVE

This year’s Badwater 135 did not go through Death Valley, but still covered 135 scorching miles in central California

1. Bad Ass

Yesterday at 8 a.m. was the start of the annual Badwater 135 Ultramarathon, one of the more insane races in or out of the continental U.S.A. Since the race’s inception in 1987, competitors have started at Badwater Basin in Death Valley National Park, the lowest spot in the continental U.S., and finished at the base of Mount Whitney, the highest spot in the continental U.S. This year, citing safety concerns (“Booo)!”, the National Park Service prohibited the race from being staged inside Death Valley National Park, so the new start is taking place at Lone Pine. It is still 135 miles in length, though, and the extremes will actually be more severe: Previously: 13,000 feet of ascent, 4,700 feet of descent. 1014: 17,000 feet of ascent, 12,700 feet of descent. The race began with 98 runners –invitation only. The winner, Harvey Lewis, a teacher at the Cincinnati School for Creative and Performing Arts, came in at 23 hours, 52 minutes and 55 seconds.

2. Miles Apart, Offensively

Petco, where hometown hitters routinely take the collar

Approximately 93 miles, and some of America’s most exclusive real estate (including Camp Pendleton, home to a massive U.S. Marine and SEAL Team base) separate Angels Stadium of Anaheim and Petco Park, the latter of which is home to the San Diego Padres. Mileage-wise, they’re pretty close. Runs-wise? The Angels have scored 491 runs, the most in baseball. The Padres have scored 189, the least. The Angels, as a team, are batting .268 (3rd-best) while the Padres are batting .215, the worst. The Angels have perhaps baseball’s best all-around player, All-Star Game MVP Mike Trout. The Padres just traded their RBI leader, 3rd baseman Chase Headley, to the New York Yankees.

3. From Hamas to James

Martin Fletcher, reporting from Gaza in Frank Costanza’s cabana-wear…

Let’s tie two seemingly –no, two actually–unrelated events involving sovereign areas with a border on the Mediterranean Sea. Here’s Jon Stewart last week knocking Israel for its “warnings” before it strikes the Palestinian homeland of the Gaza Strip (“an amuse boom, if you will”) and here he is last night with a clever little device.

…while colleague Ayman Mohyeldin reports from Gaza, having pilfered Tony Romo’s protective gear

Meanwhile, in Spain, Real Madrid has acquired James Rodriguez, the breakout star of the World Cup, who scored a tournament-high six goals in Brazil. Real Madrid now have forwards Rodriguez, Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale, while their El Clasico rivals FC Barcelona boast Lionel Messi, Neymar and serial biter Luis Suarez. I’d call it a draw.

James, Suarez, Neymar,and Messi, the best players from their respective South American nations, all now toil in Spain.

4. Bean Counters

The original Chipotle in Denver

Stock in Chipotle (CMG) is up nearly 12% today (from $590 to $660 per share) after the company posted better-than-expected earnings figures. Better-than-expected should be the company motto. Founder Steve Ells, a former line cook in San Francisco, opened the first Chipotle in Denver in 1993 using an $85,000 loan from his dad. Ells calculated that he’d need to sell 107 burritos per day to be profitable. After just one month of operation, he was selling more than 1,000 burritos per day. Chipotle went public on July 29, 2009, at $95 per share. Within 14 months the stock had doubled in price. As it approaches its five-year anniversary, it is now nearly seven times its original worth.

5. Iron Man is a Rich Man

Downey: It helps to have a sense of humor about one’s self

As Tony Stark, Robert Downey, Jr., played a billionaire philanthropist, genius inventor, incorrigible playboy and the fourth in line to succeed whoever is currently ruling what once was Winterfell. As an actor, Downey is playing the highest-earning star in Hollywood. Or so says Forbes.

Where in the World?

Friday: Pink Lake, Australia

Hint: Where are all the people?