Starting Five

1. Jay Cutler throws four interceptions and is sacked seven times as the Chicago Bears lose to the Green Bay Packers, who broke a two-game losing streak at Lambeau Field.

2. The Orioles take a 1/2-game lead in the American League East — for about four to five hours — as they complete a three-game sweep of the Tampa Fay Wrays in 14 innings. Two notes: Manny Machado hit the game-winning bloop single on a 3-0 count and the O’s have won 13 consecutive extra-frame games. That’s SO Showalter!

3. Jay Pharoah to replace Fred Armisen in impersonating the president on “Saturday Night Live” this season or, as about 44% of the nation hopes, for the next two months. How about Tina Fey as Paul Ryan?

4. This French magazine has printed topless pics of the Duchess of Cambridge, a.k.a. Kate Middleton. For the record, the bride of the future king of England (wildly presumptuous of us, we realize, to assume that Queen Elizabeth II will ever expire) was neither in Las Vegas nor racing Ryan Lochte at the time.

5. From QE II to QE3: We understand “quantitative easing” the way Kramer understood write-offs (“but they do [understand it], and they’re the ones writing it off”), but the Fed approved QE3 yesterdayand the stock market rose more than 200 points. Can they just do this every day? (reminds me of when the young author of this column asked his father once, “Why doesn’t the government just print more money?” [ironically, now they do!]).

 Reserves

Tom Hanks’ tribute to his The Green Mile co-star, Michael Clarke Duncan.

Somewhat buried beneath the Jay Pharoah news, but Olivia Wilde’s boyfriend will be returning to SNL this season…which begins tomorrow.

Greg Schiano coached Rutgers last season. Now he coaches in Tampa. This weekend Schiano will coach a football game in New Jersey, just off the NJ Turnpike. The Scarlet Knights beat USF last night in Tampa. Confused?

From the “‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” file: “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough tweets that “Rocket Man” is his favorite Elton John tune, then adds the lyric “And all these sights, I don’t understand”. To Scarborough’s credit, when a kindly Twitter follower gently corrected him, he retweeted it.

Here’s one for you: What’s the line after the words, “Rocket man?” (Answer below)

“Pete Townsend? Monkey in a lab coat?” Bob Costas has the leverage at NBC to rip the Peacock. On Conan, no less. A few things to notice here that illuminate why Costas is nonpareil: 1. Does he ever stutter or use a crutch word/term (“like” or “you know”)? No. Never. 2. This one is much more defining of who Costas is: When sidekick Andy Richter corrects Bob about the “Animal Practice” primate not being a chimpanzee but rather a monkey, Costas agrees by adding, “Not a gibbon…” That is vintage  Costas: he must be accurate, so once corrected, he realizes his error and agrees while adding “not a gibbon” as a way to demonstrate that he’s smarter than just some simpleton who does not know his primates. That he does this instantaneously shows that it is just part of who Costas is.

Rocket Man answer: “Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone.”

The Sports Illustrated Bake-Off

Yesterday Deadspin ran a story about the bake-off currently taking place at Sports Illustrated, an industry term basically meaning that certain staffers are auditioning to become the magazine’s next Managing Editor (ME) (disclosure: I worked there nearly 15 years). The piece suggests that four assistant managing editors — Chris Hunt, Hank Hersch, Mark Mravic and Chris Stone — as well as senior writer Jon Wertheim were in the running but now that list has been culled to the final two names.

A few insights and observations here: 1. While Stone and Wertheim may be the favorites on this list, another name is also in the mix: senior editor Steve Cannella.

The skinny on all three: all are in their early 40s and all began as reporters (real job: fact-checker) at the magazine. This is from a time when the magazine truly cared about nurturing its own talent and harvesting it.

A brief roster of alumni from “The Bullpen” (our term for the reporters group) simply from my time there: Steve Rushin, Jeff Pearlman, Josh Elliott (now co-host of “Good Morning, America”), Chad Millman (current ME of ESPN the Magazine), Seth Davis, David Fleming, Grant Wahl, Ashley Fox, Kelly Whiteside, Kelli Anderson, Steve Hymon (he won a Pulitzer Prize later with the Los Angeles Times) and Tim Crothers (the most gifted writer in that group outside of Rushin). There are many others whose names currently escape me, and I apologize (“Larrrs!”).

Cannella, whose father worked in the newspaper business, graduated from Boston College and pretty much came directly to SI after that. Stone graduated from Tufts University and then got a masters in journalism at Columbia (his father, Greg, was an editor at the New London Day). Wertheim, part of the magazine’s “Princeton Mafia”, also has a law degree. He started as an intern one summer between law school years and quickly insinuated himself into the 18th floor culture as one of the smartest minds there.

I’ve moved two of the three aforementioned people into or out of their apartments. Attended the wedding of one (earlier that day, curiously enough, the winner of the previous bake-off, Bill Colson, had phoned me to inform me that I was one of four writers being laid off — this apparently made me the “something blue” part of the ceremony).

All three are talented and bright and have at least 15 years at the mag, with Stone having been there the longest. Some interviewer should/will ask Stone about the first road assignment he took for SI, in which he did not have a credit card — and was embarrassed to inform our boss — so he was unable to rent a car. Hence, Stone paid a taxi driver hundreds of dollars to drive him from O’Hare (or Midway, I forget) Airport to a town in western Michigan on the shores of Lake Michigan for the story.

Who would make the best ME going forward? Well, first of all, being ME of SI is not what it used to be. As this previous Deadspin piece articulates, Paul Fichtenbaum (yet another Bullpen alum) now oversees the integration of the print and web staffs. This is potentially the most powerful job in the franchise. An aside, and an anecdote for the next book on SI: When SI first put Fichto (as he’s known inside the building) in charge of the web, that was not seen as a plum job (beware of troglodytes walking the halls of SI) But he made it one.

A few years later a senior writer at the magazine took issue with something about what SI.com was doing, either with his story or how it was being handled on the web. Fichto looked at the writer and basically said — and I may not have this verbatim — “This (pointing to his computer) pays for this (pointing to the magazine).”

Paradigm shift.

Returning to my question: Chris Stone is the best face to put in front of potential advertisers. He is initially charming, polished and handsome and if you do not think that matters, go take a look at some of the nation’s top CEOs (start with Tim Cook at Apple and Marissa Mayer at Yahoo!).

Jon Wertheim is arguably the smartest guy on staff and he also plays very well with others. When he first arrived, nobody was more interested in learning — and sharing — gossip than Wertheim, but he pursued it in such a way as to never offend. You cannot help but like Wertheim — even if he did attend Princeton. My only negative with JW (great initials, by the way) is that he is also my favorite writer currently at the magazine. And even if he is not yours, you’d likely agree he is one of their three most talented. You know how the New York Yankees always used to say –before he fell in Kansas City — that Mariano Rivera was potentially the best fielding outfielder they had? That’s Jon. Maybe he is, but do you take him off the mound in the ninth inning to play center?

Finally, there is Steve Cannella, the dark horse of the group and a poor man’s Jason (or is it Jeremy) London. Cannella, my closest friend of the three (just so you know), worked his way up as Jack McCallum’s and Rich O’Brien’s reporter for years on Scorecard. I point that out because there is no writer more beloved among staffers the past half-century than McCallum, who spent plenty of years in the office. His levity and affability made him as popular with the corner-office crowd as with the summer interns.

And while Cannella is not as openly ebullient as McCallum (who is?), he too enjoys great popularity among the group. He’s sharp, humble and possesses a quick, disarming wit. It was his wedding I attended the day I was laid off (I kept it a secret) and it was he who later authored the “something blue” line (I’m not that witty).

This is Cannella: married and a father of three sons, he commutes to work each week from Stonington, Ct., which is just a few miles from the Rhode Island border. That tells you a little something about journalism salaries and trying to raise a family of five in the tri-state area. There’s slightly more to it than that, but this was the most frugal financial decision for he and his brood. Cannella has done this for years and without complaint (because of SI’s Thursday-Friday, Sunday-Monday schedule, it’s just a semi-weekly commute).

That’s sort of the essence of who he is. I can envision any one of this trio winning the bake-off and the magazine will be in solid hands with any of the three. Cannella is the dark horse in this race. And he’s the last one you’d spot power-lunching at Le Bernardin or Del Frisco’s. But don’t count him out.