STARTING FIVE

1. Pardon The Interruptions

An actual televised debate not produced by Jamie Horowitz?!? Apparently, it is possible. Watch Brad Katsuyama of IEX and Bill O’Brien of BATS square off on the subject of High Frequency Trading, which sounds arcane and over our heads because, well, it kinda is. It’s very Peter Griffin.

O’Brien provides a textbook example of how NOT to argue, on- or off-camera. Tony Reali docked him five points for badgering Brad. And I think it might be time for Bill to switch to decaf.

2. Tiger, Tiger, Burning Back

Tiger Woods will not play the Masters due to back surgery.

Yesterday I tweeted, “Tiger, no Masters; Lindsay, no Olympics. Elin is a voodoo master.” That elementary tweet received more RTs than anything I’ve ever tweeted, even though I don’t particularly think it’s brilliant, which is to say that for one brief moment I understood what it feels like to be Dane Cook.

3. “Bruuuuuuuuuuce!”

Last night, as pitcher Scott Feldman was plunking The Captain –in his first at-bat of his last season– news was breaking that college football savant Bruce Feldman was jumping from CBS Sports to Fox Sports. Good move for the Foxies, as Bruce is great people and has credibility within the ranks. And the respect of coaches and players.

Besides, Bruce can drive from his home to the Fox Studios on Sepulveda (I think). Now, where will CBS Sports find a college football pundit who lives in New York City????? Hmmmmmm.

4. Ching Chong Ding Dong So Long

Nation…the funniest man after 11 p.m., Stephen Colbert, in his first TV appearance since the #CancelColbert hysteria became a thing, is typically brilliant and incisive. I love how he notes that there was far more of an uproar over his satirical charity, the “Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Orientals or Whatever”  than there has been over the “Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation.”

5. They’re Right

Someone edited the final three or so minutes of “How I Melt Your Mother” and it’s TM, totally masterful. I hope someone shows this to Carter Bays and Craig Thomas and they use it for all forthcoming DVDs and syndication episodes.

And do not browbeat me for caring so much about a sitcom.

And, yes, for its first four or so seasons HIMYM was awesome, kinda like “Scrubs” in its early years. I won’t apologize.

 

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P

1987

Willie McCovey, 1B; 1959-1980, San Francisco Giants

The National League MVP in 1969 when he led baseball in home runs (45), RBI (126) and OBP (.453), this six-time All-Star retired with 521 home runs. The inspiration for McCovey Cove was described by contemporary Bob Gibson as “the scariest hitter in baseball” (Gibson knew from scary) and led the league in homers three different seasons.

Roger Maris, RF; 1957-1968, Yankees, 3 others

Maris is not yet in the Hall of Fame, but how many other two-time American League MVPs can say that? Most famous for belting a single-season record 61 home runs in 1961 (which, depending on how you feel about PEDs, may or may not still be the rightful record), the Fargo, N.D., native was an All-Star between 1959-1962 and played on three World Series champions. As for the literal meaning of “Fame”, he earned it.

Remote Patrol

McDonald’s High School All-American Basketball Game

ESPN 9 p.m.

You can’t have this, Taco Bell! Also known as the University of Kentucky/Duke University spring hoops extravaganza, this exhibition will feature 2015 NBA Draft top picks Jahlil Okafor (Durham-bound) and Tyler Ulis (Lexington-bound).