STARTING FIVE
Who wants to spoil every expert’s bracket? “Me!” cries Joe Harris.
1. Final Four Seeds
As tremulous (“that word does not mean what you think it means”) as this college basketball season has been, it’s even more jarring how many experts went chalk on their predictions. Look below at the dudes from ESPN, CBSSports.com, Yahoo! Sports, SI and Bleacher Report.
Nearly every last one has Michigan State and Florida. Do I think that, right now, Florida, Michigan State, Arizona and Louisville (two 1 seeds, two 4 seeds) are the favorites? Yes, but how often does that wind up meaning anything?
I get that the Spartans are healthy; they’re also 8-7 since January 25.
I get that Louisville is the defending national champ and has Rick Pitino; they’re also capable of engaging in a rock fight at any moment.
Florida has the tourney-tested coach, an outstanding backcourt, a dominant big man and senior experience, but–oh, that’s right, I actually DO like Florida to go all the way. Of course, if Kansas ever harnesses its talent, that’s going to be an Elite Eight final that could sub as a national championship game.
Dark horses: Virginia (I know where they’re seeded, thank you) because I love Mighty Joe Harris and because they play smart, Baylor, UCLA, Stephen F. Austin (why not?) and Duke.
SLO jams: Cal Poly-SLO is in at 13-19 while SMU is not at 24-6. Yeah, March Madness is a lot more fair than the BCS.
Jay Bilas: Kansas, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Louisville
Digger Phelps: Florida, Michigan State, Oklahoma State, Duke
Jay Williams: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Louisville
Dick Vitale: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville
Clark Kellogg: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Wichita State
Seth Davis: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Wichita State
Doug Gottlieb: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville
Gary Parrish: Kansas, Michigan State, Creighton, Wichita State
Matt Norlander: Kansas, Michigan State, Creighton, Duke
Gregg Doyel: Kansas, Iowa State, Arizona, Ronda Rousey Michigan
Jerry Palm: Kansas, Michigan State, Arizona, Michigan
Jeff Borzello: Florida, Iowa State, Arizona, Louisville
Dennis Dodd: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville
Reid Forgrave: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Wichita State
Brian Hamilton: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Duke
Luke Winn: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Wichita State
Pete Thamel: Florida, Virginia, Arizona, Louisville
C.J. Moore: Florida, Michigan State, Baylor, Louisville
The Five Thirty Eight: Florida, Michigan State/Virginia (tie), Arizona, Louisville
Me: Florida, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wichita State
2. American Movie
I would’ve loved to attend a private screening of this film with Martin Scorcese, wouldn’t you?
I had a wonderful movie date on Saturday night: my mom.
Phyllis and I went to see “American Hustle”, a plan that was nearly sabotaged before it began by the potty-mouth trailer for that new Jason Bateman film about a 40 year-old entering a spelling bee. Somehow, we survived that moment and watched all two hours and nine minutes of the David O. Russell film.
Here’s Phyllis’ one-word review: “Contrived.”
I fully concur. It was as if Russell got a “Goodfellas” paint-by-numbers kit for Christmas and couldn’t wait to deploy it. A few specific problems: A) Too many relationships between characters, none of which were given enough time to marinate so that we actually cared about them B) I never bought Jennifer Lawrence as a 30-plus Long Island housewife and I never really bought Bradley Cooper, either C) A lot of attempts at showy scenes that had no ballast behind them: the opening scene with Irving’s comb-over, the dance-as-you-clean scene with Lawrence D) Seriously little chemistry between the actors E) Flat dialogue.
What was good? Jeremy Renner was outstanding. So was Amy Adams. The one scene with Robert DeNiro was the best moment in the entire movie. But did this flick deserve nine Oscar nominations? No, not even close.
3. David Brenner, R.I.P.
If you are of a certain age, you got home from school in the early to mid-Seventies and tuned in to The Mike Douglas Show. It was a celebrity talk show with two important differences from today’s versions: 1) it originated from Philadelphia and 2) it aired in the afternoons.
One of the most frequent and beloved guests was David Brenner, a comedian who was Jerry Seinfeld before Seinfeld was: East Coast, Jewish, intensely likeable, funny but never cruel or profane.
Brenner, a Philly native and easily the greatest of the feathered-hair comedians, also appeared on Johnny Carson’s show 158 times, which is a record, and guest-hosted it 75 times. He died of cancer this weekend at the age of 78.
Brenner was the Andy Pettitte of comics. Not quite an elite all-timer, but certainly someone whose track record almost everyone would love to emulate.
4. Crimea River
Crimea: geographically, it’s a growth that Putin is trying to remove.
I don’t even have anything insightful to add about Russia’s invasion of this peninsula, but 1) when has that ever stopped me? and 2) I just wanted to use this headline.
5. Media, Darlings
Apropos of nothing, Stana Katic. She’s Canadian and no NYPD detective has ever looked like her.
So, Pete Vecsey tells Jeff Pearlman that he cannot understand why Bill Simmons is successful (um, because he’s so damn entertaining to read?) while Charles Barkley tells Richard Deitsch that some of the CBS college basketball crew are “jerkoffs” without naming names.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Wlie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
Ed Delahanty
1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF
1976
Jack Pfiester, P; 1903-1911, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates
Though not a Hall of Famer due to only eight years of service, Pfiester has the third-lowest E.R.A. of all-time (2.02) among pitchers who have tossed at least 1,000 innings. In 1908 Pfiester (71-44), who stood just 5-11, pitched a complete game with a dislocated tendon and afterward had the arm reset by a guy named Bonesetter Reese. Those were far more colorful times.
Johnny Mize
Johnny Mize, 1B; 1936-1953, Cardinals, Giants, Yankees
The Big Cat manned first base for a Yankee team that won five consecutive World Series at the end of his career, but he also had a .312 lifetime batting average and is No. 16 all-time in slugging percentage (.562). A 10-time All-Star who had four seasons in which he batted above .333, Mize lost three years in the prime of his career to World War II service.
DeNiro was easily the best part of Hustle. I like Lawrence, but just didn’t see much in her role.
Of course, Vecsey doesn’t like Simmons. Would have been surprised if he had something positive to say. People vastly underestimate a writer’s ability to entertain regardless of topic.
Whenever you saw David Brenner on TV, you had this compulsive need to walk around the house doing a terrible impersonation of him.
Jerkoffs on CBS? My bet’s on the former college basketball player/THIEF. Sorry, I think he’s a friend of yours, but I’d be shocked if Charles wasn’t thinking of him.
BTW, when I read last week that Reilly was giving up writing to focus more on the TV side (even though I believe he’s gotten a LOT better on TV over the past few years, for Rick Reilly to give up writing for TV is like Dr J, back in the day, giving up dunks for free throws! I mean come ON!), I clicked around to see what was being written about it. I fell onto a piece by Jay Mariotti. 1st, isn’t that the guy arrested for assault & fired from ESPN? Anyway, the piece wasn’t so much one of praise for Reilly as a jealous, bitter rage on Bill Simmons. I take it those guys have a history? If not, they do now.
And finally, I watched the Heat against the Rockets on Sunday. TOLD you it was the beard! Actually, I was nervous throughout that game. If they had lost, after losing pathetically to the Nuggets (AT HOME! THE NUGGETS!) on Friday, I would have gotten sick. May not have projectile vomited, but definitely would have been reached for a TUMS & some tissues. Oh, the joys of fandom.