STARTING FIVE
They’re the Lumberjacks, and they’re okay. If not ranked.
1. (Almost) Everyone is Beatable
The University of Duke, America’s top destination for academically overachieving porn stars, falls at Wake Forest, a .500 team. Syracuse, barely more than a fortnight removed from being 25-0 and No. 1, has now lost four of its last five. Creighton, which boasts the nation’s most complete player and top scorer, Dougie McBuckets, has lost two in a row.
Only Wichita State remains unbeaten, while Florida (27-2) is No. 1.
I’m somewhat fascinated by Stephen F. Austin. The Lumberjacks should be 28-2 after tonight, meaning that only the Shockers will have either more wins or a higher win percentage. And yet SFA is still not ranked. Yes, they are SFAWOL from the AP and USA Today polls.
Given that rankings in college hoops are even less meaningful than in college football, I wonder why so many AP voters and coaches are trolling them. What’s the harm in rewarding a program that is about to go undefeated in conference AND possibly win 30 games in the regular season? It’s not as if they’ll get a better bowl invite.
At the behest of certain SEC coaches who would prefer to remain nameless, please take 10 seconds before moving on to the next item. Thank you.
2. .Will It Play in Pretoria?
South Africa has the highest rate of murder by shooting of females of any nation not currently at war.
Here’s a little scribbling I did on the Oscar Pistorius trial, now in its fourth notorious day. An excerpt from testimony given by the first witness, Michelle Burger, a neighbor and university lecturer, as defense counsel Barry Roux attempts to rattle her.
Burger: “I was sitting in bed and I heard her screams. She screamed terribly and she yelled for help. I heard the screams again. It was worse. It was more intense. Just after her screams, I heard four shots. Four gun shots. You could hear it was blood-curdling screams. You can’t translate it into words.”
Roux: “As you stand there, as you testify in chief, you do it from the perspective that Oscar Pistorius lied in the bail application and his defense is a lie?”
Burger: “I could not understand how I could clearly hear a woman scream, but Mr. Pistorius could not hear that.”
Roux: “Do you believe the man?” Is that a rhetorical question, counsel?
3. True Detective: Supporting Cast
“Juice, meth, coke…name it.”
First of all, I was finally able to find someone who is not a fan of “True Detective”: Emily Nussbaum of The New Yorker. Hey, to each their own, but living where I do and seeing subway-cars full of Nussbaum types day in and day out, I’m not surprised. Nussbaum’s critiques are more about how the show is NOT specifically fashioned to her neurotic, feminist Gotham City perspective than about what the show actually is. It’s like, If only Marty and Rust took classes at Soul Cycle and met me at The Tangled Vine to ask me what I thought of that MoMa exhibit over a glass of sauvignon blanc, then I’d like this show.
When I spoke to series creator Nic Pizzolatto, one of the many things he said that I’ll never forget was: “I don’t care if these are sympathetic characters. I care if they’re authentic.”
Amen.
For me, as we head into the final stretch, I’d like to salute the minor characters whose performances were so memorable that they’ve helped make this eight Sunday evenings of television I’ll never forget: Brad Carter (Charlie Lange), Shea Whigham (Pastor Theriot), Jay O. Sanders (Billy Lee Tuttle), Ritchie Montgomery (Henry Olivier), Olafur Darri Olafsson (DeWall), Tory Kittles and Michael Potts (Papania and Gilbaugh), Kevin Dunn (Major Ken Queseda), Charles Halford (Reggie LeDoux), Joseph Sikora (Ginger), Alexandra Daddario (Lisa) and even Pizzolatto himself (bartender at strip club).
Charlie Lange will always be my favorite, though.
Rust: “What do you mean she didn’t make sense?”
Charlie: “Like she could duck hunt with a rake.”
Two other favorite quotes from the series:
Marty (in 1995, when Air was near peak of popularity): “You are the Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch.”
Rust: “I don’t see how two dead cats have anything to do with a murder investigation, but that’s me, I’m from Texas.”
4. Brothers in Arm
SI swimsuit rookie Hannah Ferguson did not throw a perfect game, hence the pout.
It’s pretty cool that Javi Salas of the University of Miami threw a perfect game versus Villanova on Tuesday night (apparently, Jameis Winston is not the only college baseball pitcher in Florida). Cooler still, Javi’s younger brother Jorge did the play-by-play for the game. Here, via Deadspin, is Jorge’s call of his brother’s final out.
5. Has Anything Changed?
From Diana (and earlier) to Breanna, Geno has ruled college hoops.
Thirteen years ago I spent an entire women’s college basketball season trailing Geno Auriemma and the Connecticut Huskies around for a book, The Same River Twice. At the time UConn and Notre Dame, coached by Muffet McGraw, were easily the nation’s two best teams –they would meet three times, with the Fighting Irish winning first to break UConn’s 31-game win streak, then UConn winning on a buzzer-beater to capture the Big East crown, and ultimately Notre Dame winning the rubber match in the Final Four.
At the time I thought that the continued spotlight that Auriemma’s success at UConn, plus his undeniable charisma, would lead to more attention, which would lead to more money, which would lead to more terrific coaches entering the sport, which would ultimately level the playing field.
That was in 2001. It’s now 2014 and Geno Auriemma and Muffet McGraw have the only undefeated teams in the country (and no one is stopping the Huskies this season). Tennessee has not lost much and Stanford, under Tara Van Der Veer, is No. 3 and has had a nice little west-of-the-Rockies dynasty going for two decades-plus. But only Louisville and Baylor, and perhaps Maryland, have seriously come from nowhere in the past five years to challenge the oligarchy.
It’s a credit mostly to Geno. Recruiting where he does, and now stuck in the conference that he is, he still has the most dominant team in college hoops, men or women. He is The Master.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
Monte Ward
1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972
Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, P; Negro Leagues
Before he became a 42 year-old rookie with the Cleveland Indians in 1948, Satchel was a legend in the Negro Leagues due to his dominance on the mound and his infectiously enthusiastic personality. In the Negro Leagues Paige, as hard a thrower as the game has ever seen, would have his infield sit down and watch as he struck out the side.
Satchel
Sandy Koufax, P; 1955-1966, Los Angeles Dodgers
For the first seven years of his career, “the Left Arm of God” was a pedestrian pitcher with a 54-53 record. But, oh, those final five seasons: Koufax would have three seasons with 25 or more wins, three with 300 or more strikeouts and three with a 1.88 ERA or lower. The National League MVP in 1963, Koufax was the first pitcher to win the Cy Young Award three times and the first to hurl four no-hitters, one of them a perfect game. He retired at age 30, so his induction into the Hall of Fame at age 36 made him the youngest player to be elected into the Hall.
Remote Patrol
Heat at Spurs
TNT 8 p.m.
A replay of the best NBA Finals in at least a decade, tonight’s matchup pits two teams with near identical records (44-16 for SAS, 43-15 for Miami). The Heat led by as much as 29 in their previous meeting this season, but the Spurs were without three starters. Look for a closer game tonight.