STARTING FIVE
“Congratu–….oh, never mind.”
1. Frozen
“Do you believe in soul-crushing losses that will haunt you for the rest of your lives? YES!”
Canada-USA, women’s hockey, gold-medal match. The Canadians entered having won the past three gold medals in this event dating back to Salt Lake City in 2002. But, with less than four minutes to play the U.S. led 2-0. Then it was 2-1 late when the US slapped a 3/4-rink shot at Canada’s empty net that —-oooooohhhh!–jus ricocheted off the left post. But, who cares, the American lasses were still up 2-1 at that point.
Then…uh-oh. Canada scores with :54 left to tie it up. Then, in overtime, the U.S. is late on a substitution, which leads to a Canadian breakaway, which leads to a penalty, which leads to a power play on which the Canucks score the decisive goal.
Jerry Seinfeld’s riff on not wanting to win silver has never been more applicable.
2. “The New York Knicks: A Tragic Misstep in Evolution”
James Dolan: The King in Yellow
This piece from Grantland is satire executed to perfection. I read “True Knicks Detective“, loved it, then spent the next six hours kicking myself for not having thought of it. Well done, Netw3rk. Take a bow.
3. “And You May Contribute a Verse…”
Step away from your cubicle, this video seems to be saying. A wonderful sermon on what it’s all about, with what I believe are the Cliffs of Moher –or somewhere that resembles it– in the background. Your narrator is Mickey Smith. Well worth your time. This video is not as worthy of your time, but the hypnotic beat and quick cuts kept my attention for far longer than I thought it would.
4. “Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks….”
Dr. K? Irving rocked the All-Star Game.
No longer are they the Cadaverliers. On February 6 Cleveland, one day after losing at home to the LOLakers and losers of six straight, fired general manager Chris Grant. The guy who signed Andrew Bynum. The guy who made Anthony Bennett the No. 1 overall pick in last June’s NBA draft.
Honestly, do you ever wonder how people such as Grant land these gigs while you and I do not?
Anyway, since that day, when the Cavs were a moribund 16-33, they are 6-0. Cleveland owns the NBA’s longest win streak and are only three games out of a playoff spot. Also, Cav poin guard Kryie Irving was named MVP of the NBA All-Star Game.
I don’t understand it, either, but it is happening. And I think we are all just hoping the Cavs finish in the 7th or 8th spot and meet Miami in the first round of the playoffs.
5. Farewell (For Now), Matt
This is NOT Matt Taibbi, but rather Carolyn Murphy at the SI Swimsuit Legends shoot. The staff of Medium Happy regrets the error.
America’s hands-down best, most important, pissed-off journalist, Matt Taibbi, is leaving Rolling Stone for his own independent venture. The man who once had the temerity to refer to Goldman Sachs as “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”, is flying off from Jann Wenner’s nest to run his own publication focused on financial and political corruption.
I prefer my badass muckraking to sprinkled with some bikini shots of Rihanna in Barbados along with a 5-star review of Bob Dylan’s latest burp, but that’s just me, I’m from Texas.
Reserves
No, that is not Iulia Lipnitskaya in disguise
A goalie for the minor league Allen Americans, Mark Guggenberger, is suspended and fined after tripping the opposing team’s mascot. Or is that referred to as “slew-footing?” Either way, that’s not nice.
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The Broadway musical “Bronx Bombers” will close after a one-month run. “Bombers Bombs” the New York Post headline should read. So, it’s no Damn Yankees. Gotta love a show about the Yanks whose run is shorter than Derek Jeter’s retirement lap season.
***
In an Alabama girls high school basketball state championship game, top-ranked Glenwood took a 3-1 lead into halftime versus No. 2 Lee-Scott, then ran away in the second half for a 15-2 victory. Tom Green has your story. The game featured just two field goals and none by Lee-Scott, whose coach, Chad Prewett, elected to freeze the ball after having lost thrice earlier in the season to Glenwood.
*****
CORNUTOPIA: A piece on hoops in the heartland this season…
****
Science says that we’ve already had the time of our lives. I bet Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes would agree….
*****
Matt Lauer picks low-hanging fruit at colleague Bob Costas’ expense. On the one hand, you salute Costas for taking the dig as well as he did. On the other, you figure Lauer, whose sleep schedule must’ve been royally screwed by pulling double duty on Today and for NBC primetime last week, earned the right to take a shot.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B; 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
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Honus Wagner
1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P
1965:
Ralph Kiner, 1B/LF; 1946-1955, Pittsburgh Pirates, 2 others
A genuine slugger, and one of the more well-liked players (and broadcasters) ever to grace a diamond, Kiner led the National League in home runs in each of his first seven seasons. He topped the 50-homer mark twice, the first National Leaguer to do so. A back injury abbreviated his career so that his career total is only 369, or an average of 36.9 per season. Kiner, who died earlier this month at the age of 91, was a U.S. Navy pilot in World War II. He enlisted voluntarily the day after Pearl Harbor.
Robert Moses “Lefty” Grove, P; 1925-1941, Philadelphia A’s, Boston Red Sox
So popular that they named a shopping mall in downtown Los Angeles after him.
One of two pitchers who won exactly 300 games (the other, Early Wynn), Grove’s career record of 300-141 is complemented by his having led the American League in strikeouts in each of his first seven seasons. An eight-time 20-game winner, Grove led the A.L. in ERA in nine different seasons. Between 1928-1931, Grove was absolutely dominant, with a 103-23 record. Among 300-game winners, Grove’s .680 winning percentage is tops.
Remote Patrol
The Tonight Show
NBC 11:30 p.m.
One and only one guest will appear on the first Friday of host Jimmy Fallon’s tenure: BPF –that’s “Best Performing Friend”– Justin Timberlake. History of Rap 5, anyone?
The POOP on Days 11-13 (Tues – Thurs) – AKA Bonnie Tyler theme week!
“It’s a HEARTACHE, nothin but a heartache
Hits you when it’s too late, hits you when you’re dowwwwn
It’s a FOOLS’ GAME, nothin but a fool’s game
Sittin on my sofa, feeling like a clown
IT AIN’T RIGHT”
Sure, sure, hockey heads are cryin’ from Moscow to Manhattan. And while the Russian men’s team not even getting to the semis was a sole-sucking shock for that entire country, are we REALLY surprised the American gals lost to Canada? Again? How many times is that now?
Anyway, I’m not talking about hockey, I’m talkin ’bout Figure Skating! Figure skating, man, not hockey, I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT FIGURE SKATING…
“Once upon a time we were feelin’ the love
But now we’re only falling apart
There’s nothing we can do
Total eclipse of the heart”
I know, I know, “judging controversy” in Olympic Figure Skating – HOW can that be?! Well, I nailed it during the Team event when I said rightchere that EVERY Russian competitor was being overscored & it was “ominous”. Dingdingding! Ten years ago, the new judging/scoring system was implemented in this sport & it HAS helped, but when (for example) one of the OLYMPIC judges was convicted of “place fixing” more than a decade ago & not only was he NOT thrown out of the sport, but allowed back in after a short suspension AND allowed to judge once again at the highest level, well, what can you expect from a sport like that? A girl whose artistic skill on ice makes Gumby Girl look like Janet freakin Lynn gets the Olympic gold medal, that’s what. It’s a heartache!
“I need a HERO
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong & he’s gotta be FAST
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight”.
TED LIGETY! Alpine Skiing Giant Slalom Gold medalist & hero! I’m saved.
Ahem, that’s “soul-sucking shock” – S.O.U.L. Whaddya want from someone whose heart has been eclipsed?
Anyhoo, did you see any of MVP LeBron last night? You know, when Sweet Baby James & the Heat blew the roof off the Chesapeake Energy Arena as they CRUSHED the muted Thunder? (I own CHK btw). I only got to click over during NBC’s commercials, but they were lookin’ FIERCE. I bet you were probably hoping the Thunder would make a run after LBJ was injured & squeeze out a close win JUST so you could write they “won by a nose”. Sometimes the sporting gods are kind.
I did not know that poor sweetie LeBron’s nose was BROKEN when I joked above. I guess hiring a henchman with a hammer is oh-so-20-years-ago, so Ibaka is ‘safe’ for now.
Speaking of Nancy & Tonya, that the latter STILL refuses to admit her complicity is not shocking. But it is her rewriting of history that is truly vexing. She constantly bemoans & blames the skating establishment for ‘keeping’ her from being accepted & from her ‘rightful’ place on the podium. There was/is a LOT wrong with the ‘skating establishment’ especially before 2003, but they did crown Tonya the US champion twice & she was on the US podium at least 2 other times. And she was the Worlds’ silver medalist in 1991. Hardly the results of “discrimination”.
And yes, IMO, Nancy Kerrigan should have won the 1994 Olympic gold medal. Her performance was technically (& for me, artistically also) superior to Baiul’s. And that she competed like THAT after what she had endured the entire preceding month still shocks/inspires/induces tears to this day.
As for Oksana – last I heard, she was suing her ex-agents, managers, her Olympic coach, old friends, & NBC. After drunk driving accidents, stints in rehab, & now lawsuits, seems the crowned ice “princess” is not too different from Tonya. Wonder if she sees the irony.