Starting Five
1. Chris Stevens, the U.S. ambassador to Libya, is murdered along with three other staffers in Benghazhi, a city that the U.S. (and other U.N. forces) helped save from Muammar Gaddafi’s forces in March of last year.
2. Adam Corolla Herculez Gomez scores on a second-half penalty free kick as the U.S. defeats the Reggae Boyz of Jamaica, 1-0, in Columbus. A loss, or even a draw, would have put the striped ones on the verge of not qualifying for the World Cup.
A magnificent leg, sure, but his podcasts are even better.
3. Steve Martin, 1979, The Jerk: “The new phonebook’s here! The new phonebook’s here!” All of us, today: “The new iPhone’s here! The new iPhone’s here!” (Okay, so not yet, but Apple will announce the release of an iPhone 5 today as the tech monolith furiously attempts to stay one step ahead of the Die Hard franchise).
4. Those Fabulous Vowels, the A’s and O’s, won again last night. Since July 17, when both American League clubs were 46-44, the A’s are 35-16 while Baltimore is 33-18. Is it 1973 and ’74 all over again?
5. Whistleblower at UBS nets $104 reward from U.S. government. That’s nice. What? Oh, a $104 million reward. What the….?
Reserves
Two middle-aged Ivy Leaguers hang out together, but one of them does nothing but write best-sellers and the other is the president of the United States. Michael Lewis’ profile of Barack Obama is an outstanding read. Much of the piece deals with a difficult decision about how to handle a crisis in Benghazi, which the events of last night only make more intriguing. Also, shortly before ambassador Stevens was murdered in Libya, Lewis was at Lincoln Center discussing the evolution of his story.
You are a gay football player in North Dakota? That’s fine. You’re 18 and your boyfriend, whom you met on-line last year, is 65? Ewwwww!
We have said it before, but in our mind no sports journalist has done better investigative work this year than Daniel Kane of the Raleigh News & Observer. His latest bombshell: Tyler Hansbrough’s mom may have been Jessica Dorell’ed at North Carolina, with Matt Kupec, the school’s chief fundraiser, playing the role of Bobby Petrino.
We disagree with you. So you must die. This is why America is the greatest country in the world, Will MacAvoy. Because that ain’t how we roll.
Hey, everybody, Chris Brown got a tattoo on his neck, and it does not at all resemble Rihanna so don’t even say that, alright? I think we are all a little relieved that Ike Turner never had this bright idea.
Chris Brown has decided to commemorate one of his greatest hits. (“Oh no you di’unt!”)
Quotable
“I’m here for one reason: To graduate our kids and win a national championship.” — Brian Kelly , Notre Dame football coach (Isn’t that two reasons?)
Your New York Mess note of the day: Since the All-Star break, the Mess have won four games at Citi Field while the Atlanta Braves have won five games at Citi Field. Half of those four wins, by the way, came versus the Lastros (special thank you to @Okerland for the tip).
What we do like about the entire Billy Gillespie-Texas Tech morass is that once the Red Raiders approached the athletic administration with their grievances about their coach, they were not all traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Gillespie, who is suffering from dangerously high blood pressure, is now being treated at the Mayo Clinic. Interns and nurses at the Mayo Clinic were not — we repeat, NOT — doing suicide drills at 5 a.m. this morning.
New York City, last night. The Freedom Tower.
Former New York Jet fan favorite Wayne Chrebet is allegedly short-changing his employees.
Mark Zuckerberg speaks publicly for half an hour at a tech conference in San Francisco, his first public address since losing $9 billion of his personal fortune getting married Facebook’s IPO in May. Wouldn’t it have been cool if Jesse Eisenberg had taken the stage when Zuckerberg was first introduced? Facebook stock is up 5% this morning, by the way.
The Cincinnati Reds shut down Aroldis Chapman for five days. He did blow a save to the Houston Lastros last Friday night, after all.
Pakistan badly needs an OSHA. More than 300 perish in two factory fires.
It appears that the Fiesta Bowl’s former COO, Natalie Wisneski, will not do actual jail time for her role in the campaign contributions scandal. Wisneski has been cooperating with authorities, and while they will not award her $104 million, it looks as if they will spare her hard time. What does this mean? It means that former Fiesta Bowl executive director John Junker’s trial will be “for all the Tostitos.”
Remember the Philadelphia Phillies? They’re only four games out of the wild card and a check of the roster shows that they still have Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, Jonathan Papelbon, Jimmy Rollins, Jimmy Rollins, and Jimmy Rollins.
“A group of depraved underachievers from Philadelphia.” Phinally, it ain’t the Phillies.
No. 20 Notre Dame visits No. 10 Michigan State on Saturday. The Spartans have not lost at home since 2009 (i.e., since before “Little Giants”). The Irish have not started 3-0 since 2002. The Irish last had a fruitful trip to The Mitten State in 2006 (also a night game in East Lansing). Our prediction? By the end of the night “Le’Veon Bell” and “Heisman candidate” will be uttered in the same sentence a lot.
Chris Stevens, the ambassador who was slain, was a former Peace Corps volunteer who died on September 11. Stevens was 52. He earned a B.A. and a J.D. from Cal, and and you would expect they’ll have a moment of silence for him before the Golden Bears’ game at Ohio State on Saturday.
What kind of name is Reince?
Flori-duh
Homeless man breaks into car, steals credit card, uses it to buy drinks, bartender realizes it’s his own card.
Why is it always Florida? Didn’t Carolla have a deal on Loveline where he read an insane story and then challenged listeners to decide whether it was in Florida or Germany? Maybe that was a Toyota Corolla.
Love the Jerk reference. You have two minutes in a movie, I’ll put M. Emmet Walsh up against anybody.