STARTING FIVE

1. March Millions

This could work.

Item 1: Yesterday Quicken Loans, owned by billionaire Bil Gilbert, and Berkshire Hathaway, owned by billionaire Warren Buffett, announced that together they will pay $1 billion (that’s the first number you learned followed by three commas and nine zeros) to anyone who correctly picks ALL 67 games of this year’s NCAA mens’ basketball tournament.

Item 2: The most popular cause among journalists and college athletes in revenue-producing sports is income disparity, the concept that the “student-athletes” should be paid for their services.

My Idea: There exists a group of people who are in a prime position to influence the outcomes of these games. A group of young men. Actually, 68 small groups of young men. What if these young men were to, I don’t know, create a Facebook group to which only they had access? What if they were to just toss around the idea that the higher-seeded team in every game would win, with one or two or six exceptions since someone out there is bound to hand in a bracket that is chalk?

What if all of these young men were to agree that within every one of their 68 smaller groups, the 10 most influential members would receive equal shares? Those outside the top ten in any of the 68 smaller groups would receive some smaller share. Now, all we need to happen is to have someone turn in a bracket, keep all of the members apprised of what that bracket looks like, and then let the madness begin!

If you multiply 68, the number of teams in tournament, by 10, you get 680. Now divide $1,000,000,000 by 680 and you get a quotient of….

$1,470,588.24

That’s PER PERSON.

I got your Cost of Attendance right here, pal. Not bad for less than three week’s work.

Let’s say that the median salary in the U.S.A. is $50,000. And let’s explain to our young men that for most of them, that check represents at least 29 years of work. Even if we are optimistic, for most of them, at least 15 years of post-collegiate labor. Or they can just follow this plan.

2. FLOTUS Dunk

By now this has made the rounds. I just would like to add that if you’ve been watching the Miami Heat play this month, this GIF symbolizes their commitment to defense.

3. Master Thespian

I know you think I feature Matthew McConaughey far too often on this site, that perhaps I’ve gone McConau-Gay. But we’re watching an athlete in his prime who is simply killing it. It’s like Bob Gibson in 1968 or Mel Gibson in the Nineties, before he opened his mouth about Jewish people.

And while we are only three weeks into the new year, this is the best scene on any show I’ve watched so far. It’s the final scene from the premiere of “True Detective”, as Rust Cohle lets the two detectives know that as deviant and spaced as he may seem, he’s known why they called him in to talk since the very moment he entered the room. Also, the backing guitar, the timing of it and the tone, fits perfectly.

4. uNDer armour

“We Must Protect This House…of Worship?”

Notre Dame and Under Armour, the world’s top supplier of unbearably tight-fitting clothing that no one over the age of 30 should wear, sign the most lucrative shoe and apparel deal in college sports history, reportedly for $90 million over 10 years. Stock in Under Armour (UA) rose 3.40% yesterday on the news. Au was the symbol for gold. Now in South Bend, they’ve reversed the letters.

5. Damon in Davos

In the film “Syriana”, which was actually on television last night, Matt Damon plays a Switzerland-based oil commodities analyst. This week Damon is in Davos, Switzerland, to address the World Economic Forum about, well, water (but not necessarily well water).

“Having traveled in the Third World quite a bit, I started to get a real appreciation for the magnitude of the water crisis, and it just shocked me,” Damon said. “Every 20 seconds a kid dies because they lack access to clean water and sanitation.”

His message to the world’s most influential people? It IS your fault.

My favorite Damon scene from “Syriana”, a bleak but powerful film. Maybe a little too bleak.

Reserves

You’ve probably seen this footage of the Auburn band as Chris Davis scores the winning touchdown in the Iron Bowl, but just in case. Those sousaphone players deserve a Heisman, hoisting their horns upon their shoulders in preparation to play before Davis even crosses pay dirt. That’s awesome.

***

Deadspin’s Greg Howard (or is this just an alias under which Jason Whitlock writes?) informs us that White America cannot handle an athlete who is 1) Black 2) Successful and 3) Arrogant. To which I say, “Bullshit.”

Muhammad Ali.

The problem with Richard Sherman’s rant, Mr. Howard, is not that it was arrogant. It’s that it was hostile and absolutely without charm. Ali met all three of your parameters. So did Rod Tidwell. And white and black audiences sopped it up with bread. Charm and a sense of humor, traits that those men and many other successful, arrogant black males possessed, will take you a long way.

I’m not even linking to the piece. It was self-righteous, race-baiting garbage.

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Hawaii 5-0 Foot Waves

Fifty-foot waves are headed for the Oahu’s North Shore today and, ironically, an esteemed surfing competition will be canceled. Not due to the height of the waves, but rather the wind conditions.

Which reminds me: I caught “Chasing Mavericks”, a 2012 film on the brief but spectacular existence of Jay Moriarity, last night on Showtime. Highly recommend. Or, at least the final 20 minutes. The visuals from Mavericks, the famous surfing spot just south of San Francisco, are wild.

Here’s footage from Moriarity’s infamous wipeout, in 1994, at the age of 16. After this, he retrieved his board and went back to the lineup. That’s plain balls.

*****

Michelle Beadle is returning to ESPN, a story broken by Richard Deitsch at SI.com. We’ll see if the magic is still there.

*****

Everything that’s wrong with education in the United States in one depressing essay by Thomas Friedman. My sister-in-law has taught at the same elementary school for more than two decades and I pretty much hear the same stories from her. (This is not one of those Rick Reilly moments in which my in-law will then run to another publication and claim that I misquoted her.)

****

Games of Thrones

 

A photo taken by a British newsman of a toilet at a venue in Sochi. This is NOT the type of Olympic movement we are going for.

***

A fraternity at Arizona State University, Tau Kappa Epsilon, a frat that had already been suspended, decides to stage an MLK-themed party. And so Arizona’s reputation as a (as THE)  racist state only is further enhanced.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943

Mickey Cochrane, C; 1925-1937, Athletics, Tigers

The 1928 American League MVP, Cochrane has the highest career batting average for a catcher (.320), at least until Joe Mauer retires. Had his career ended after a near-fatal beaning.

Frankie Frisch, 2B; 1919-1937, Giants, Cardinals

The “Fordham Flash” was a switch-hitter whose .316 lifetime average remains the standard for those who bat from both sides of the plate.

The Bank

Balance: $835

Last Night: Bye

Record: 6-7

Tonight: Let’s take Oklahoma minus-14 versus TCU. That’s a huge spread, of course, but the Horned Frogs have lost by 32 and 26 in their only two road games since Dec. 5. For $40.

Remote Patrol

Thunder at Spurs

ESPN 8 p.m.

At least one of these two teams will play in the Western Conference finals. Kevin Durant had 46 last night in a win against Portland and 54 on Friday in a defeat of Golden State. He’s gone for at least 30, roughly his average, in each of his past eight games.