STARTING FIVE

1. Troy Story

Notre Dame tight end Troy Niklas, a six-foot-seven stud who in just one season as a starter showed the promise of joining the Fasano-Carlson-Rudolph-Eifert class of Irish tight ends, declares for the 2014 NFL Draft, as first reportedgog by the Chicago Tribune’s SINow’s Brain Brian Hamilton.

A mistake? As usual, that depends on your priorities.

Niklas had 32 catches and five touchdowns in 2013. If he sticks around for next season, he’s a potential first-team All-American and Mackey Award winner. And if his helmet comes off after a catch and someone snaps a photo, suddenly it’s “Cam Who?”

NBC sideline reporter Alex Flanagan told The Grotto in autumn that Niklas reminds her of her husband, Kevin, when they were in college. The idea of Alex Flanagan humblebragging about her spouse…

Anyway, Niklas was known to his teammates as Hercules, and I’ll note here that the film “The Legend of Hercules” opens today. And that’s largely what he’ll remain to Domers. Meanwhile, Davaris Daniels, the team’s second-leading receiver in 2013, has been suspended for the spring semester due to an academic issue.

It was Woody Allen who said that “80% of success is just showing up.” Brian Kelly would agree.

2. How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? Whip Your Hair

One of the true legends of rock and roll, Neil Young, does four nights at one of the legendary venues of all performing this week. The last show is tonight. Check out this setlist. One night of Neil Young >>> three days of Coachella 2014.

3. Shoelace Joe Jackson

Happy Knick Year continues as NYK take down the Miami Heat, 102-92, for their fourth win in five games. More noteworthy, with a roster that is short-handed, coach Mike Woodson chooses to give J.R. Smith a “DNP-CD” to send a message about his shoelace-pulling stunts. And the ‘bockers respond with their best win of the season as Carmelo goes for 29,

Paying David Stern/Adam Silver $50K is one thing. Being embarrassed publicly for all to see, and knowing that you and everyone watching knows that you deserve it, that’s far more effective. Ballsy move by Woodson, and maybe it works. This is beginning to get interesting.

4. Related?

Check out prodigal Louisville football coach Bobby Petrino, whom the Cardinals rehired yesterday, and second-year Kentucky football coach Mark Stoops. They know a lot about bloodlines in the Commonwealth, so you wonder if these two are related a few generations back.

Is this going to be confusing for recruits and their parents in the Bluegrass State, or will they just remember that Petrino is the arrogant blowhard and Stoops is not?

5. Highly Questionable Decision

It’s right there in the title of his own show.

Dan LeBatard.

Should ESPN put DL on the DL for a week?

Hey, if you want to be an anarchist, fine, go ahead. But when you choose to suck at the teat of the largest establishment in all of sports and then you decide to punk another establishment, all you are is a hypocrite.

I don’t know Dan LeBatard. I do remember him writing a piece in GQ or Esquire in the ’90s in which he bragged about what a ladies’ man he was (I thought he’d be better-looking when I finally saw a photo). And I do remember when he tried to race-bait Jay Bilas on his radio show a few years back, and Bilas started to retort, “With all due respect–”

LeBatard interrupted Bilas and told him that that clause was devoid of meaning. And so Bilas quickly replied, “Okay, then with no due respect..” and proceeded to light into him.

In short, I’ve never understood the appeal of Dan LeBatard. I’ve never understood how people could not see that Dan LeBatard is the world’s greatest Dan LeBatard fan and that not much else matters to him.

Okay, perhaps his father matters to him. But I hear he’s giving him to Yardbarker.

Reserves

Miss Venezuela 2004, Monica Spear, 29, and her ex-husband, Thomas Henry Berry, 39, are murdered when they are abducted from their car. Their five year-old daughter survived.

Nearly 25,000 Venezuelans are murdered every year in a nation of 30 million. In the USA, by comparison, approximately 14,000 are murdered annually in a country whose population is more than ten times that of Venezuela’s

This morning police claim to have nabbed the perpetrators and imply that it may have been a contract killing.

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UCLA. An undefeated team. Bill Walton in the house. And a late 12-point (make that 13-point) run. It was a fitting way to promote the January 19th 40th anniversary of Notre Dame ending UCLA’s record-88 game win streak last night, although this time Goliath win. No. 1 Arizona (16-0) squandered a 68-55 lead late but held on to defeat the Bruins, 79-75, with Walton serving as ESPN’s analyst.

Big Red was his typical erudite and cranky self, preaching fundamentals, joking that Digger Phelps is “the devil” (he is), opining that San Diego State’s win at Allen Fieldhouse last week was the “greatest day in the history of basketball in San Diego, the nation’s eighth-largest city”, which was funny both because Walton is a native San Diegan and because he was discounting his time as a San Diego Clipper.

Anyway, I love Big Red. I love that he wears polo shirts to call games as if to say, “When you shoot 21 of 22 in an NCAA title game and are a part of a program that wins 88 in a row, come talk to me about dress code.” I love that he relates stories about Coach Wooden. I want he and Dan Dakich to partner up with Dave Pasch for telecasts and pull a Statler and Waldorf act.

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Yours truly in Newsweek on how the Hall should become MORE exclusive.

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My favorite sports writer of late, Jason Gay, advocates an All Apologies Channel.

The Bank

Balance: $1,008

Last Night: Took the Bruins plus-2 against Arizona for $20. Bruins lost by four.

Record: 4-3

Tonight: Let’s put $40 on Miami minus-5 at the Kevin GarNets. The Heat aren’t going to drop two games along the A subway line in as many nights, are they? And Dwyane Wade isn’t going to shoot 0-for-6 from the free throw line again.

Remote Patrol

Saturday

AFC Playoffs

Colts at Patriots 

CBS 8:15 p.m.

Both AFC playoff games are intriguing, but here come the Colts, slayers of Denver, Seattle, San Francisco and Kansas City (twice), to face a New England team (12-4) that has been overshadowed all season but who are just three plays away from being 15-1. Indy recovered from a 28-point second-half deficit last week, but don’t forget that New England came back from a 24-0 halftime deficit versus Denver and a 26-14 deficit in the final two minutes against Cleveland. This one has the Yogi Berra seal of approval. Brady. Luck. This is huge.