Starting Five

1. Let’s Make A Deal

The government shutdown ends, as the Democrats and Sane Republicans defeat the Batshit Cray-cray Republicans, 285-144. Baylor and Oregon immediately phoned to say that if they were to meet in a bowl game, they’d beat that Over. All 188 Dems voted in favor of the bill, which basically just kicks the can down the road until January 15, at which point we will once again be inundated with interviews of Chuck Schumer, John Boehner, Ted Cuz, John McCain, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.

Obamacare seems to have no shortage of glitches, but even hard-line Republicans concede that they chose the wrong fight at the wrong time and terrorized the wrong group (namely, us) in their war against it.

My two (more) cents: This entire crisis might have been averted if Dr. Gregory House were still practicing medicine at the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey. Surely, Dr. Cudd(l)y could have crunched the numbers with him.

2. Rice Capades

College Football, 1988: Tony Rice.

College Football, 2013: Condi Rice.

A quarter century ago, the Notre Dame quarterback made the cover of Sports Illustrated three times. Not bad considering that he failed to finish in the top ten in Heisman Trophy balloting, and I’m fairly certain that the dual-threat (actually, Tony’s legs were his lone threat) QB is the last college athlete to make the cover of that publication thrice in one season. The magazine’s managing editor at the time, Mark Mulvoy, may have been a Boston College alum, but he knew on which side his bread was buttered.

Twenty-five years later, Condoleezza Rice, who attended college at a school that does not even field a football program (University of Denver), is one of the biggest names in college football after she became the lone female named to the 13-member panel.

Thoughts:

–First, I’m astounded by the sheer volume of lock-step columns by big-time media members in favor of both Rice and the panel in general. Does anyone see that this panel was named not with the idea of most qualified but rather with the idea of being most reputable? One year from now the panel is going to have to make a very unpopular decision, specifically regarding who is the final, or fourth, school selected to the inaugural four-team playoff and who will be the first one or two schools left hanging (schools whose won-loss records may be identical than School No. 4, or even better).

At that point the primary concern of the oligarchs who run the sport will be that the committee who selected these teams be composed of individuals who are above reproach. We may assail their acumen, but not their integrity. Because if any of these individuals were to appear compromised, who knows, the government might step in.

 

 

–Honestly, I’d get the dude from the “It’s Not Complicated” ads to chair this committee. Why? Because IT’S NOT COMPLICATED!

1) Won-Loss Record

2) Strength of Schedule

Those are the only two metrics that truly matter. Someone on the committee yesterday actually noted that offensive point production may be taken into account. WRONG! Already they are screwing this up, by the way.

–Andy Staples’ mullet-sporting cousin, Randy Staples, would do as fine a job as any panelist. Of that I’m sure.

–How easy is this, and how much is college football overthinking this? Here’s last year’s December Harris Poll rankings: You take Notre Dame, since they’re the only AQ school that is undefeated; Alabama, since the Crimson Tide are 12-1 and champions of the nation’s strongest conference, the SEC; Oregon, since the Ducks are 11-1 and their lone loss was in overtime to Stanford. Why not Stanford, which beat the Ducks? Because the Cardinal have two losses. See the above set of parameters. Finally, it’s a choice between 11-1 Florida and 11-1 Kansas State. I’m going with the Wildcats, who went 4-0 versus Top 25 foes as opposed to the Gators, who went 4-1.

You can argue that Florida’s eight-point loss on a neutral field to a Top 25 foe, Georgia, is more respectable than K-State’s blowout loss at unranked Baylor. And I can argue that a road loss and an undefeated record versus Top 25 competition is more impressive. The point? No one is empirically correct. It’s opinion. And this is the type of scrutiny that the committee, even if it had Oprah and Dalai Lama, will be unable to avoid next year and in the years after…until the field expands to eight teams.

–If you are searching for Dr. Rice, she teaches Global Strategy (GSBGEN 203) in Room 102 of the Gunn Building on the campus of Leland Stanford University, Tuesdays and Fridays from 3:15 p.m. to 5 p.m. Ask questions about whether Alabama’s SOS is valid if you are attempting to sidetrack her.

3 David is Goliath

 

Not a bad six weeks or so for author Malcolm Gladwell. On September 3rd he turned Jodie Foster (50 years old). Twenty days later he clocked a 5:03 in the Fifth Avenue Mile, finishing in the “Blink” of an eye. The Canuck finished 11th in his 50-54 year-old age group. And he currently has the No. 2 non-fiction book on the New York Times bestseller list, “David and Goliath.” Tops on the list is Bill O’Reilly’s “Killing Jesus”, but how fast is his mile time? (O’Reilly’s, not Jesus’)

4. One-Hit Wonderful

Timing is everything.

Ask Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz. Through four games of the American League Championship Series, Big Papi is batting one-for-15 with one walk. When you consider that he does not play a position in the field, and that his only base hit was a home run (you may have heard about it), Ortiz has probably spent just a few minutes on the actual diamond through the ALCS.

But it doesn’t matter. Through four games he is still probably the MVP of this series. His one hit –on the first pitch he saw from David Joaquin Benoit–altered the landscape of the entire series.

By the way, three of the four home runs hit by the Los Angeles Dodgers yesterday were smote by players who were on the Red Sox’ rawster at the start of last season. Adrian Gonzalez, who smote two, mimicked Mickey Mouse ears (the white gloves were a nice touch) after bashing the longest HR hit in Dodger Stadium this season, a response to Cards’ pitcher Adam Wainwright saying that he’d done “Mickey Mouse stuff” in Game 3. Listen, this is Magic’s Kingdom, after all.

5. Not on NBCOlympics.com

Buzzfeed –yes, I have referenced the site on consecutive days –has photos of Sochi, site of the 2014 Winter Olympics that begin in just four months, and it looks as if their Olympic organizing committee is going to be pulling a few all-nighters between now and the Opening Ceremony on February 7.

To be fair, this is not out of the ordinary when it comes to Olympics preparation. Greece was hardly in better shape for the Athens Games of 2004 and that went off wonderfully.

Remote Patrol

Game 5, ALCS: Red Sox at Tigers

FOX 8 p.m.

Pox on Sox and Sox on Fox…and Dr. Seuss would have gone mad trying to rhyme anything with “Tigers.” Detroit starter Anibel Sanchez struck out 12 and walked six in six innings of no-hit ball in Game 1, a 1-0 bengal win. The last pitcher to strike out AND walk that many hitters in one postseason game was Walter Johnson of the Washington Senators in 1924. Not bad company, The Big Train.