Starting Five

1. Head Games 

(The judges will accept no other Foreigner album title tracks as item heds, although we will consider “4” for No. 4…but only if it is, you know… urgent)

Is the editorial staff at Medium Happy prepared to acknowledge that last night’s PBS Frontline documentary, “League of Denial“, sacked the NFL’s integrity for a 12-yard loss? We don’t know. We’re going to need to see more data. The research is not conclusive. That’s why we’ll  keep throwing money at the researchers. We’ll leave it to the scientists…unless they report that it did sack the league’s integrity, in which case we’ll find other scientists.

Most damning: Dr. Ann McKee, a neuropathologist and the head of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) research at Boston University (she has a serious job so she definitely should be a member of the College Football championship selection committee), has examined the brains of 46 former NFL players, and 45 of them showed signs of CTE. That’s in the 98% range.

Also, why didn’t anyone tell me there was a pro wrestler named Chris Harvard, an actual Crimson alum who wore a giant “H” on his scarlet huggy shorts? How did I not know this?

To summarize: Football is bad for your brain. It’s also the most popular sport in America by far. Many of the young men who play it enjoy it, sure, but also come from backgrounds that are averse to wealth, or even stability. Football provides them an opportunity, most often their only (legal) opportunity, to acquire, as Michael Wilbon put it on another program yesterday, “transformative wealth.” So even if they watch “League of Denial” enough times to make their heads hurt, will it really change their minds?

Or, as NFL Hall of Fame linebacker Harry Carson said in discussing the league’s settlement with the former players who sued it, “The NFL gave you 756 million reasons why you should not play football.”

2. He’s a Clowney, but He Ain’t No Clown

From the Department of Seamless Segues…

…Jadeveon Clowney has at least 20 million reasons not to play another down of college football.

Earlier this week ESPN’s –and Birmingham’s own — Paul Finebaum called Jadeveon Clowney, the precociously talented South Carolina defensive end whose performances this season have either been perfunctory or, like last Saturday, non-existent, “the biggest joke in college football.” Danny Kanell, another ESPN analyst whose father is a doctor and probably never had to worry about who’d be paying the rent, said, “At least give it a try. Are you putting yourself ahead of the team?”

Finebaum expanded, “The last time I checked, this is college football.”

The last time I checked, South Carolina raised its ticket prices $6 per game this season, largely due to the enormous popularity of Clowney, whose Outback Bowl hit on a Michigan running back last New Year’s Day remains arguably 2013’s most YouTube-able sports moment (Jon Gruden: “Clowney IGNITES himself into the backfield!”)

I’m not arguing that South Carolina should pay Clowney. But, after last year’s Outback Bowl hit –and Clowney’s first two stellar seasons — the South Carolina native would likely have been the No. 1 overall pick in last April’s NFL draft (instead of….drumroll, please… Central Michigan’s Eric Fisher).

Clowney is the kid who already aced his MCATs, scored higher than anyone in the nation, and now you want to compel him return for his senior year when all he wants to do is start medical school? Why?

 

Last year Clowney’s Gamecock teammate, running back Marcus Lattimore, was easily the squad’s most highly coveted NFL talent. Then, in a game against Tennessee, Lattimore tore his knee to shreds. It is brutal to watch. Lattimore, a probable first-round talent, fell all the way to the fourth round. He is on the Niners’ “Reserve/Non-Injury” football list. The injury cost him millions.

So here’s Jadeveon Clowney, the most celebrated player in college football who isn’t named Johnny…and he plays a position where he’ll have contact every play…and often be double-teamed by a collective 600 pounds of humanity, half of which may very well be aiming at his knees…and he is looking at a minimum of $10 to $20 million (or more) if he remains healthy versus a mere fraction of that –or nothing at all — if he should suffer a devastating knee injury.

Finebaum said that Clowney’s reluctance to play “sends a bad message” to the rest of college football. False. Clowney is a proven NFL-caliber talent who will, if healthy, fall no lower than fifth in next spring’s draft. Gamecock fans would love to think that Clowney, and many of his brethren, are playing for the love of “Rah Rah U!”, but that’s false.

The rare superstars such as Clowney, or USC wide receiver Marquise Lee, are serving their NFL internships, and that’s how they view it. If the NFL simply rescinded the three-years-past-high school rule, Clowney and his coach, Steve Spurrier, would not have this problem. And “Paawwwwwwwl” wouldn’t look like such a shill for the NCAA and college football and ESPN by referrring to him as “the biggest joke.’ The last time I checked, Mr. Finebaum is paid very handsomely by more than one employer for his “keen insights.”

3. The Chronicle of Reddick

The Oakland Athletics’ Josh Reddick swung– and missed — at ball four last night and that may have made all the difference in the A’s-Tigers ALDS. Detroit’s Max Scherzer was pitching in relief –yes, the A.L.’s likely Cy Young Award winner, with a 21-3 record–and had allowed the Athletics to load the bases with no outs in the eighth inning of a contest that Detroit led by the score of 5-4 at the time.

Scherzer had gotten himself into the jam, walking two batters to jam the bases with Vowels. Then came Reddick, who had doubled in the 4th inning. It’s a 3-2 count with no outs and all you want to do is make contact. After throwing six straight fastballs, two of which Reddick fouled off, Scherzer and catcher Alex Avila decided to toss Reddick a change-up. It was low and inside, virtually in the dirt, but Reddick swung wildly –and missed.

Not that you can blame him.

“He definitely swung at (ball four)l,” Avila told MLB.com. “It’s hard to lay off a pitch there when you’ve seen six fastballs. Reddick had a great at-bat. I’ll say nine guys out of 10 swing at that pitch — and if he takes it, he’s lucky.”

Scherzer, by the way, has now retired all 13 batters this season whom he has faced with the bases loaded. That’s one way to get to 21-3.

Game 5, Thursday in Oakland, and I doubt Jim Leyland is going to pull Justin Verlander early this time.

4. Time Out for Fun (that’s for all you Devo fans)

Okay, kids, here’s a game for all of you who are obsessed with college football. There are, by my count, 22 (correction, 23; thanks to Greg Auman) different mascot names that are at least partly shared by two or more schools. By “partly” I mean that at least one word in a two-word term is identical. Can you guess them? Answer after No. 5

5. Is John Boehner Gary Cooper?

 

You think I’m providing this exchange between ABC’s George Snuffleupagus and House Speaker John Boehner to showcase the latter’s intractable nature and disingenuous side–

Boehner: “Clearly there was a conversation about doing this —

George: “Several conversations.”

Boehner: “Several.”

Point, Snuffleupagus.

But, actually, I’m wondering if you’ve ever noticed how much Boehner sounds like (and even physically resembles) the actor who starred in “Pride of the Yankees” and “High Noon?“ Listen.

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Answers to No. 4….

 

Aggies: New Mexico State, Texas A&M, Utah State

Bobcats: Ohio and Texas State

Bears: Baylor and (Golden) California –but not UCLA

Broncos: Boise State and Western Michigan

Bulldogs: Fresno State, Georgia, La. Tech and Mississippi State

Bulls: Buffalo and South Florida

Cardinals: Louisville and Ball State –but not Stanford

Cougars: BYU, Houston and Washington State

Cowboys: Oklahoma State and Wyoming

Devils: (Sun) Arizona State and (Blue) Duke

Eagles: Boston College, (Golden) Southern Miss and Eastern Michigan

Falcons: Air Force Academy and Bowling Green

Hurricanes: Miami and (Golden) Tulsa

Huskies: Connecticut, Northern Illinois and Washington

Owls: Florida Atlantic, Rice and Temple

Panthers: (Golden) Florida International, Georgia State and Pittsburgh

Raiders: (Blue) Middle Tennessee and (Red) Texas Tech

Rebels: Ole Miss and (Runnin’) UNLV

Spartans: San Jose State and Michigan State

Tigers: Auburn, Clemson, LSU, Memphis and Missouri

Trojans: USC and Troy

 

Wildcats: Arizona, Kansas State, Kentucky and Northwestern

Wolfpack: (One word) North Carolina State and (two words) Nevada

So that’s 59 (again, thanks to GA) schools, or nearly half the FBS, who have a mascot that is not unique. And there are like, what, at least three million different species of animals. Not to mention that Irishmen are hardly the only bellicose ethnic group. No school wants to be a shark? A hippo? A crocodile? Even a lion? ” One of those “Tiger” schools should definitely consider changing to “Flesh-Eating Bacteria”, or “FEBs”.

Reserves

The highest-paid player on YOUR N.L. wildcard Pittsburgh Pirates? That would be pitcher A.J. Burnett, who is well-rested for today’s decisive NLDS Game 5 in St. Louis. Except that Burnett will not get the start. Because, you know, he allowed seven runs in just two innings of the series opener, a 9-1 loss, back in Budweiserville. And, well, manager Clint Hurdle is probably aware of Burnett’s history with the Yankees. Burnett has a career ERA of 3.99 but his postseason ERA is 6.37.

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I like Dennis Dodd and I enjoy his writing –and I need to state that so I don’t sound like a COMPLETE jerk for what I am about to write (moderate jerk will do) — but the logic on this column about the rumored members of the College Football Championship Selection Committee appears, unless Dennis was aiming for satire, flawed.

It begins with an anecdote about how Dodd himself was put in his place for joking about “Condi” (apparently, that’s “Dr. Rice” to the rest of us) to a man who would later lead a major college football program to an 0-12 season.

That man, , is Tyrone Willingham, is like Rice also rumored to be headed to the College Football Selection Committee.

Dodd mentions retired Air Force Lt. General Michael Gould, another selection committee member, and asks, “How do you ask… a man who has spent a life training men to go to war, why Boise State didn’t get in?”

Like this: “Lt. General, how did Boise State not get in?”

After reading the roster, Dodd writes, nothing the number of degrees and medals and huzzah-huzzahs that the committee members will have, football just doesn’t seem that important.

IT IS TO ME! And a lot of other people. Honestly, does Ari Fleischer deserve this byline? If the point is that we shouldn’t assail the committee’s credibility to assess which four schools should make a playoff because they are accomplished and renowned in other walks of life, I’ll ask Dennis to go visit any of them if he ever needs a root canal. Because, you know, after someone has guided a cruise missile toward a country that in fact did NOT possess weapons of mass destruction, who are you to wonder aloud if this is going to hurt?

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Jason Gay of the Wall Street Journal on the NFL requiring its teams to participate in HBO’s “Hard Knocks”: “So basically ‘Hard Knocks’ has become the NFL’s version of jury duty.”

 

Remote Patrol

Game 5, NLDS

Pittsburgh Pirates at St. Louis Cardinals

TBS 8:07 p.m.

The Cards are 7-1 the past three years when facing postseason elimination. The Pirates are….1992…. Sid Bream….NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!