Starting Five
1. He’s Gotta Go To Work
Forgive Bilas the smug look. Four years in Durham will do that to most anyone.
Before yesterday my favorite Jay Bilas moment was a radio exchange that took place between he and Dan LeBatard back in April of 2008. The topic was that upcoming NBA draft, which included Tyler Hansbrough and Kevin Love, and LeBatard attempted to inveigle Bilas, an attorney, into commenting on his –LeBatard’s– assertion that NBA GMs were more inclined to draft white European players than white American players.
“With all due respect, this is stupid,” said Bilas as I remember it.
“You can’t say ‘With all due respect’ and then ‘this is stupid’,” countered LeBatard, which is somewhat true.
“Okay then, with no due respect, this is stupid,” Bilas replied and then hung up. By the way, hanging up was so much more effective back in the days of land lines. Cell phone clicks just lack the same manner of hostility.
Anywaaaaaaaay (as Chuck Klosterman would write), my new favorite Jay Bilas moment took place yesterday. As CBSSports.com’s Gary Parrish reports, Bilas, a former center at Duke back in Coach K’s salad days, spent the afternoon tweeting links to ShopNCAASports.com that proved that the NCAA targets specific players in terms of marketing. Example: Typing “Manziel” in the search bar.
2 late to turn back now, NCAA
That someone at the NCAA disabled the search bar two hours later should be Exhibit A in the plaintiffs’ case in the Ed O’Bannon vs. the NCAA lawsuit. Bilas may have just won the case for student-athletes in what is arguably the most significant case involving that class since Title IX.
For me the best part of this episode is that the NCAA may lose this case due to a self-inflicted wound, a mistake so obvious that one can be sure that a younger, brighter member of its staff likely pointed out the hypocrisy to a higher-up at some point, only to be shooed away.
And to think that it all began on Twitter. If I’m Carl Quintanilla, I’m leading with that anecdote tonight to introduce “The Twitter Revolution” documentary on CNBC.
2. “Football On Your Phone”
“Eli?” “Present.” “Peyton?” “Present.” “GOOD BAND MEETING!”
Love the new Peyton and Eli Manning music video for DirectTV with an Elvis-at-the-Sands clad Archie making a cameo. And now every NFL defensive end will celebrate a Manning sack next month with a “Football on Your Phone” pantomime.
Funny? Sure. Derivative? Some readers may credit its inspiration to Lonely Island, which gave us “Lazy Sunday” and other videos starring Andy Samberg. I’m reminded more of the Kiwis Bret and Jemaine, a.k.a. “Flight of the Conchords”, whose over-the-top duets are almost scene-for-scene templates for this Manning ad. Check out the second half of “Love Is Like Tape”, for example, and note how their stroll down a street in SoHo mirrors the Mannings’ strut down Bourbon Street.
Next up? I’m ready for Peyton and Eli to serenade Suzy Kolber by reprising this FotC gem (with a cameo by Joe Willie Namath, of course).
3. “Do You Double-Dog Pinkie Swear That You’ll Never Tell?”
House of Cads
This would be a hilarious set-up for a political satire, a film along the lines of “Dr. Strangelove” or “Wag The Dog”, if only it were not true. Senators Max Baucus (D-Montana) and Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) have proposed 50 years of guaranteed secrecy for their colleagues in exchange for their ideas and suggestions on how to reform the tax code which, after all, is part of their jobs. As John Oliver pointed out on The Daily Show last night, it was last given a makeover in 1986 (so that’s one thing my hairdo has in common with taxes).
Of course, in the era of Bradley Manning (Can he have a cameo in the next Eli and Peyton video?) and Eric Snowden, no elected official expects that secret to last 50 days, much less 50 years. But what a shame that our nation’s LEADERS need to be bribed with the promise of secrecy in exchange for actual leadership.
Are you a donkey or an elephant? The answer is, you’re all this.
4. And Then They Destroyed His “World’s Greatest Dad” Mug
Brewer, currently starring in the new ABC hit comedy “Post-Modern Family”
Story lines that never appeared on “Sh&* My Dad Says.” Timothy Brewer, a sheriff’s deputy in Moab, Utah, was enjoying a quiet night at home with his wife, Logan, and his father, Corky, a respected local fire chief.
Then Timothy noticed that he was the only one watching television and that both Logan and Corky were missing. And, well, you can read the rest of it here. As faithful reader @Okerland points out, this did not happen in Florida it but should have.
5. Saskatchewan’s Southpaw
As a pitcher, you’d prefer to hit the showers –even a cold one–after the final out.
It’s just a short 986-mile trek from Andrew Albers’ hometown to Minneapolis, home of the Minnesota Twins, for whom the southpaw made his Major League debut last night. That Minneapolis is also the nearest Major League city SOUTH of where Albers was raised —North Battleford, Saskatchewan — should not go unnoticed.
Last night Albers, 27, became the first Saskatchewan native to appear in a Major League game since Terry Puhl of the Houston Astros in 1991. He did just fine. Albers pitched 8 1/3 innings of four-hit, shutout baseball as the Twins silenced the Kansas City Royals in K.C., 7-0. The Crowns had won 12 of 13 entering the contest, but those in the know understood that Albers was no scared neophyte.
That Albers came within two outs of pitching the first complete game shutout by a pitcher making his Major League debut in 11 seasons (Andy Van Hekken, Detroit, 2002) is one thing. That he also came within two outs of pitching his third consecutive complete-game shutout (two with Triple-A Rochester previous to last night) is even more impressive.
A few notes on Albers, whom the Minneapolis Tribune describes as “The Quirky Canadian”:
1) His fastball topped out at 89 m.p.h. last night.
2) His pregame meal? Two cheeseburgers.
3) At Rochester he liked to run the parking lot for 20 minutes after games that he pitched.
4) Had Tommy John surgery in 2009.
5) He gave Minnesota its longest outing by a starter this season.
Andrew Albers, the Canuck Who Doesn’t Get The Hook. Keep an eye on him.
Reserves
Erin Go Blah Blah
The lovely and, well, lovely Erin Andrews co-hosts on “Live with…” earlier today. This tweeter predicts she will unveil her I-dropped-my-iPhone-in-the-toilet anecdote (a story that she “broke” on Twitter two days ago, presumably via her lap top or iPad). And she does, less than two minutes into the broadcast.
Listen. Andrews seems like a nice enough person. Insecure and beautiful, but nice enough. It’s just that she is America’s leggiest, blondest example of The Peter Principle. It’s a visual medium and Andres is p’rty, but she lacks the charisma to host one show, much less two. Watch Ellen DeGeneres. Heck, watch Michael Strahan, her co-host on “Live…”. They’re comfortable in their skins and their insights keep us from reaching for the “Mute” button.
Andrews? We can hear that prattle in any Starbucks in America. She’s a fine sideline reporter. And a talented terpsichorean. But as a host, her reach exceeds her grasp.
*****
Pat Forde reveals his “25 Most Intriguing Games of 2013.” I love lists such as this. Here are my top five:
1) Alabama at Texas A&M, Sept. 14
You’ve got the reigning national champion visiting the reigning Heisman Trophy winner (although that is not yet signed, sealed and delivered), the Tide attempting to avenge its sole loss of 2012, the Johnny Manziel Vortex, and the school that gave Bear Bryant his first crack as a head coach. Plus, the Aggies have as rich a tradition as anyone.
2) South Carolina at Georgia, Sept. 7
If the Dawgs start 2-0, Gurley should be a front-runner for the Heisman (though voters will probably credit QB Aaron Murray).
The Dawgs open a week earlier at Clemson –How did Claude Felton ever let that happen? — which means that they’ll take on Sammy Watkins one week and Jadeveon Clowney the next? That’s too much Palmetto State for Mark Richt’s squad. We love The Gurley Man, Todd Gurley, who rushed for 1,385 yards as a freshman. But anyone ranking Georgia in the top five –and many will — hasn’t taken a close enough look at their schedule.
3) Oregon at Stanford, Nov. 7
Speed versus power in the Pacific Time zone. The most intriguing contest west of College Station.
4) Ohio State at Northwestern, Oct. 5
I have the Buckeyes heading to Pasadena in January. But the Cats won 10 games last year and choked away double-digit fourth-quarter leads in two of their three defeats (the third was an OT loss at Michigan). The Kitties are legit.
5) USC at Notre Dame, October 19
This game failed to make Forde’s list, and certainly there are better schools than these two. However, if Lane Kiffin’s team has more than one loss (at Arizona State?) when it lands in South Bend during the height of fall colors, then the pressure is on. It’s not the most intense rivalry in college football, but year in and year out it may be the most glamorous and the games rarely fail to deliver.
***
We Didn’t Make It!
The 25 Best Bloggers of 2013, according to Time. Then again, I don’t take my cues from Harry McCracken.
Do you think that Fox regrets its decision and trying to find a way to EA better at being a host? Two odds things about her hosting Live
1) it’s a Disney/ABC Production and she’s a Fox product
2) The show is mainly syndicated on ABC stations
Fox is two weeks from launching a brand new network with her being one of the faces, why would ABC/Disney/ESPN allow this?
I also wish someone would look into what happened to her during the All-Star game. She was promoted as a reporter, I watched 7 innings and Ken Rosenthal did all the reporting.