“I’m not a former New York City prosecutor, but I play one on TV…”

Episode 8: “The Blackout Part I/Tragedy Porn”, which, let’s face it, sounds like an ambitious high-concept album from Green Day, was The Newsroom’s best episode yet. Considering that most of you loathe Aaron Sorkin’s latest offspring, that’s saying little. However, as unabashed fans of the program, (that’s right, we are entirely without abash) we will gladly provide a detailed account — but not a synopsis — of what you missed.

Most Valuable Player: Don (Thomas Sadowski)

“Forget everything you know about the news.”  Don had one scene in the middle of the program, the Nancy Grace tutorial, and he owned it. It was like watching Chris Perez strike out the side in the fifth inning. Also, is it us or does Don/Thomas appear as if he’s getting more sleep than he did in the first few episodes?

Also Receiving Votes: McKenzie McHale if for no other reason than her pronunciation of “douchebag” , Leona Lansing for making 74 look like the new 54, and Maggie Howard for registering both contempt and politeness while saying, “You cannot possibly have a decaf latte.” Also, for  overcoming the handicap of being a female character without an alliterative appellation (see what I did there?).

Pop-ourri (In which we attempt to note and elaborate on all of the references tossed about in the episode)*

*Kudos to Mr. Sorkin for having “98 degrees” appear as many as four times in the script without adding a quip about a boy band. He showed admirable restraint. 

• Camelot: Sorkin’s obligatory weekly reference to a musical. He got this one out of the way early.
• New York Mets: Reese Lansing must be referring to the Let’s Go’s epic collapse of 2007, when they regurgitated a seven-game lead with 18 games remaining and missed the playoffs.
• Real Morons of South Beach: A reference to both “The Real Housewives” and “Jersey Shore” franchises, both of which would outdraw “Newsnight”.
• Raver: Sloan Sabbith’s nod to getting funky on her sabbath. She meant a rager, or this was a wonderfully abstruse reference to actress Kim Raver.
• “Relax, J. Edgar: A reference, by Maggie, to former FBI director J. Edgar Hoover. The second in her beguiling series of cutesy pop-trivia aliases for Jim “James Tiberius” Harper, her office crush, who has yet to realize he’s wanted back at Dunder-Mifflin by Pam.
• “Tougher Questions than a Match.com Profile”: The correct answer is “spiritual but not religious.”
• Dark Knight/Morgan Freeman: I, too, do not know that machine.
• Donald Sutherland in JFK: Kiefer’s dad was even creepier in this film than he was as the pothead prof in “Animal House.”
• CSI Miami: A highly entertaining television show that does not exactly care about providing an accurate portrayal of its workplace environment. Hmm, what other shows on TV are like that?
• The Broadway Danny Rose of tabloid suffering: And we have a winner! Reference of the night, by Don. Broadway Danny Rose was a fictitious Tin Pan Alley agent played by Woody Allen in the eponymous 1984 film. All of his clients had bizarre and mostly unmarketble talent (“If you take my advice you’ll become one of the great balloon-folding acts of all time!”) and now they’d all receive standing ovations on “America’s Got Talent.”
• “Lana Turner sitting at the drugstore counter“: A starlet of the studio golden age of Hollywood, Turner was actually discovered (not by Broadway Danny Rose) while sipping a Coke at a cafe while skipping out on typing class at Hollywood High School. Truancy pays.
• Sarah Lawrence ideals: Sarah Lawrence was until 1968 an all-girls’ college located in Bronxville, N.Y., and yet it still has won as many bowl games as New Mexico State since that year.
• Aunt Bee: No one in Mayberry bakes a finer pie.
• Dan Rather’ed: Betrayed from within, a reference to the former CBS anchor.
• Taylor Swift: Not a Weiner girl… although if you ask John Mayer…

–John Walters