Starting Five
1. Oh Brothel, Where Art Thou?
“Every time we get a car, this place turns into a whorehouse.” And who would know better than Don Draper, the author of that line?… Ken Cosgrove is not only a gifted short story writer, but now we learn he has terpsichorean talent as well?…Another episode, another stolen office kiss for Peggy; that’s two this season… No Joan AND no Bob Benson? Presumably they were off in Farhampton together… Ah, to hear Sergio Mendes‘ “Goin’ Out of My Head” again for possibly the first time since my pre-school years. Fabulous tune… The return of Skinny and Blonde Betty! (paging Jason Sudeikis!)…. Sally is reading Rosemary’s Baby, the movie of which was released in June, 1968. It takes place mostly in an apartment on West 72nd St. and stars Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes and…The Devil!… Being reminded that SCDP is housed in the Time-Life Building, which is where I spent the first 15 years of my career Cosgroving… Bobby Draper: “Are we Negroes?”… After watching Ginsberg’s two feckless tosses, someone on Twitter noted that he has been named Purdue’s starting quarterback. I laughed… On the surface, this was “The Nutty Episode” of “Mad Men”, but let’s keep in mind that a few TV series based in this era had their own nutty episodes: “Star Trek” aired “The Trouble with Tribbles” epi in late December of 1967 while “Gilligan’s Island” did a musical version of “Hamlet”. Seriously. Here, look. And here’s the Skipper singing half as well as Russell Crowe in Les Miserables.
2. Hotspur and Heat-Spurs
Let’s begin with the latter. There is only ONE NBA Finals matchup for 2013 and it must be Miami-San Antonio. Why? Because in their two meetings this season these two franchises did not actually meet. What? On November 29 the Spurs visited Miami, but four of their starters –Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Danny Green — were sent back to San Antonio by coach Gregg Popovich (by the way, I just mentioned four future Hall of Famers). The game was nationally televised, and Pop was sticking it to David Stern for making his four-time champs meet the Heat in what was their fourth road games in five nights. He never informed the NBA or the Heat beforehand and the Spurs were fined $250,000. San Antonio still led by five with 4:48 remaining before losing. Flash forward to March 31. The Heat have just had their 27-game win streak broken four nights earlier in Chicago. Coach Erik Spoelstra sits both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade and when he is asked if this was gamesmanship, replies, “I can see how you guys might draw that conclusion…but, no.” Either way, two teams, five championships in the past 13 seasons, and their five Hall of Famers have not yet been on the court together this season. It’s an easy and compelling story angle for the Finals.
As for Tottenham Hotspurs, they failed and just barely to qualify for the Champions League (the top four teams in the Premier League qualify for Europe’s tournament of champions) in their final match of the season Sunday. And yet, in the 89th minute of a 0-0 match with Sunderland, 23 year-old Gareth Bale scored a curling goal to break the tie and provide soccer fans around the globe a harbinger of his budding genius. Kids, this isn’t just the next big star in soccer. This is someone who may just be the next iconic figure to transcend his sport.
Hail, hail, Gareth Bale.
3. “I’m nineteen years old. I think I’m doing a pretty good job.” Justin Bieber wins the inaugural Milestone Award at the Billboard Music Awards. “I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously,” he says while wearing sunglasses indoors. There were more than a few boos to be heard during the speech. Who knew there were so many Anne Frank fans in the house? The two best moments of the evening? Kid Rock saluting those for “recording under pre-recorded music” and Prince, who is now in his fourth decade of blowing our minds, performing a mid-tempo version of “Let’s Go Crazy.” (Yo, Prince, don’t give Chris Brown any ideas).
Can five Billboard Top 200 singles be wrong? Yes.
4. Your vote for most bizarre nuptials of the weekend: Stefon-Anderson Cooper (broken up by Seth Meyers) or Tyrion Lannister-Sansa Stark? By the way, Cersei Stark is every girl I knew in high school. And here is the final sketch for Fred Armisen (as British rocker Ian Rubbish… oh, and that’s Aimee Mann, as lovely as ever), a cast member for 11 years and truly one of the quirkiest, funniest utility players ever to appear on SNL. His guitar strap reads “TY LM I(heart)U.” Thank You, Lorne Michaels, we guess. Bill Hader and Fred Armisen are departing (Seth Meyers is in his lame-duck phase), which means that it’s Taran Killam’s show now.
Ian Rubbish: NOT lip-synching.
5. Some dude (or dudette) from the Tampa suburb of Zephyrhills, Fla., won the $590.5 million Powerball lottery. Really, we’d be happy with the $.5 million. It’s the single largest jackpot in U.S. history and the winner, who has 60 days to claim his/her prize, can walk away with a lump sum of $376 million. Which reminds me, I haven’t heard from Tampa area resident and frequent commenter G.A. in a few days…
Okay, off to the steakateria. Hope to add more later….