Happy 66th birthday, Dave!

 Starting Five

1. San Diego is now Brawltimore

The word “pacific” means “peaceful in character or intent”, but don’t tell that to the San Diego Padres or Los Angeles Dodgers. Last night Dodger pitcher Zach Greinke plunked Padre batter Carlos Quentin (a San Diego native who attended Stanford, by the way), inciting the “Melee Near Mission Bay.” San Diego is renowned for its wondrous Balboa Park, but who knew it was Rocky Balboa Park (wakka wakka wakka). Mitigating factors:

* Quentin, a right-handed hitter who is known for diving over the plate, was hit on the left shoulder on a 3-2 count in a one-run game in the 6th inning.

*Greinke had hit Quentin, alias “The La Jolla Destroya'”,  twice before in their careers. Greinke has never hit one batter three times.

*Since the start of the 2008 season, Quentin leads the majors in HBP. He has been plunked 96 times, including last night. Quentin led all of baseball in HBP in each of the last two seasons.

You’d accuse Greinke of having such outstanding control that he knew exactly what he was doing here, but on the other hand the lone earned run he allowed in this game prior to leaving it –the lone run allowed in his two starts — was due to a wild pitch two innings earlier. Greinke, who took on Quentin’s charge to the mound far better than Manti Te’o took on Alabama running backs back in January, broke his collarbone and will miss at least a month or two. Nice $147 million investment there for the Dodgers.

For us, the final piece of the puzzle is what Greinke said to Quentin after plunking him. Quentin took a step or two toward the mound, but then went all bull-seeing-red for some reason a moment later. Here’s what Quentin had to say about that: “I’ve been hit by many pitches. Some have been intentional, some have not been. For the amount I have been hit and my hitting style, I’m going to repeat: I have never reacted that way.”

Makes you wonder what Greinke said to incite this.

2. Carmelo Anthony goes for 36 points, but the Knicks’ 13-game win streak ends in Chicago. Kevin Durant scores 31 points but the Thunder win at Golden State. Currently, Carmelo (“He’s a chucker!”) leads in the scoring race, 28.7 ppg to 28.3 ppg. Hey, here’s a surprise: Do you know who’s leading the NBA in rebounding? The season’s biggest disappointment, Dwight Howard.

Jon Barry (whom I love) back on SportsCenter: “The Lakers haven’t been on the same page all year. They haven’t even been in the same library.”

 

 

3. Leave it to The Daily Show to unearth a wonderful little story as a launch pad to reveal the lunacy and paranoia that is the NCAA. Aasif Mandvi to Minnesota wrestler Joel Bauman, who was on 10% scholarship but lost his eligibility after releasing a rap tune: “Let me tell you your first problem: You’re rapping under the name Joel Bauman.” And after Bauman drops some lyrics, Mandvi deadpans, “But you’re a good wrestler, right?…You’re going to keep wrestling?” The payoff comes from 2:47 to 2:58 on the clip, ending with a North Carolina Tar Heel troll doll. Apt.

 

4. Here’s Frank Rich writing for New York magazine on the state of the print media industry. Item: There are 30% fewer staffers in the industry than there were in 2000. What’s the problem? Well, consider that you are reading about it on a blog that costs you nothing to read, a blog written by an erstwhile staffer of 15 years at America’s premier sports publication who now earns more money than he ever did there peddling steaks and boozahol two blocks south of its offices. And that you are reading it off a link from the magazine, a magazine that would prefer –but does not demand– you read it by actually purchasing the magazine or buying a subscription. Imagine if there were outlets where you could take sips of Diet Coke for free without actually purchasing a six-pack. How much Diet Coke would you buy?

 

5. This is funny. Two members of Rush, Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson, tour Rolling Stone’s offices. Why is that funny? Because Rush, which was recently elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, never “made the cover of the Rolling Stone.” They’re no Stillwater, after all. And here they are touring the hallways of Rolling Stone perusing all of the covers in the mag’s 44-year history. Geddy Lee spotting Rodney Dangerfield on the cover of RS: “I identify with Rodney.” Where’s drummer Neil Peart? Bands always leave out the drummers, no? Here’s one of the Canadian trio’s better opening guitar riffs.

 

Reserves

We are not even two weeks — a fortnight! — in, so don’t make too much of it, but the National League RBI leader is a dude with a name out of a Steinbeck novel who was born in Wyoming: John Buck of the New York Mets, who has 15. Buck’s position is catcher, but as this story demonstrates, he also has two career saves.

Miss Snake Charmer? Don’t go there, bub.

Whenever I see that Erin Andrews TruBiotics ad, my mind returns to this sketch from the old ABC late-night attempt at taking down SNL, “Fridays.” “Take a pill!”

 

Mark Lisanti’s “Mad Men Power Rankings” is always a fun read…

Remember the Carnival cruise liner Triumph (“this is a good ship for all of us…to POOP on!”)? Well, they’re offering four-night cruises starting at $149 per person. That’s $38 per night.

The last four emails of Bill Simmons’ long-awaited “Mailbag“, still the best read in sports. Also, note that the afrorementioned Mark Lisanti drops in a question earlier. My favorite comes from the reader that notices that when the Trail Blazers visit the Hornets, the city abbreviations on the scroll combine to make “POR NO”.

Also from the men of Grantland (this blog has morphed into The Grantland Index today), votes for the next host of The Tonight Show. One thing all of us can agree on: It shouldn’t be Jimmy Fallon. My votes are not included here: 1) Seth MacFarland 2) Seth Meyers and 3) Not-Seth DeGeneres.

 

Manti Te’o visited the steakateria last night. A former New York Giant defensive player was part of his dining party. No one set out an extra table setting for his girlfriend.

 

Remote Patrol

Wet Hot American Summer

FLIX 8 p.m.

I attended an outdoor screening of this film last summer not far from the Brooklyn Bridge, accompanied by a few thousand hipsters. Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler showed up and you would have thought the Beatles reunited. Funny indie film from 2001, but the cast list is why it bears watching: those two plus Christopher Meloni (as the Carl Spackler of Camp Firewood), Bradley Cooper, Elizabeth Banks and the always underrated Ken Marino. It’s “Dazed and Confused” with a side of “Meatballs.”

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xxx

 

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