Starting Five

Steakateria double today. This will be as brief as my Calvin Klein undies (TMI!)

1. Streak Ends at 27 Miami loses at Chicago, and thus endeth the second-longest win streak in NBA history. Former Dookies Luol Deng and Carlos Boozer scored 28 and 21, respectively. Somewhere, just out of habit, Mercury Morris popped open a bottle of Dom.

2. Life keeps getting better for Oscar Pistorius, whose bail has been eased. He may now compete internationally in track meets while awaiting trial. A moment now as we update the status of Reeva Steenkamp… oh, yes, still dead. If I’m the starter at Oscar’s next race, I’m firing the pistol four times.

3. From the “Print is dead, it just doesn’t know it yet” files: The Sporting News is laying off at least a dozen writers and editors, including my old AOL Fanhouse colleagues Lisa Olson and David Whitley. The analogy of polar bears looking for an iceberg on which to rest while treading water in a steadily warming polar region applies here.

“So I won’t be covering the Final Four this year?”

4. You know, on second thought, give me a home where the buffalo don’t roam…

5. Rick Reilly to Aaron Craft: “Could you see how some people might find you annoying, not just in basketball but in real life?” Craft to teammate: “I think he’s asking you, Deshaun.” Sportswriters, do the following: 1) Pull out old “Bobby Hurley” feature. Step 2: Insert “Aaron Craft” wherever you see “Bobby Hurley”. Step 3: Press “Send”.

REMOTE PATROL

East Regional semifinal, Syracuse vs. Indiana

CBS 9:45 p.m.

Let’s replay the 1987 national championship game! The Orange beat a No. 1 ranked team back in January, when they edged Louisville by two at the Yum Center. Tonight they’ll take on Cody Zeller and top-ranked Hoosiers in the Sweet Sixteen.