Starting Five

1. Go Routes to the West Coast

Percy Harvin to the Seattle Seahawks, Anquan Boldin to 49ers. (It’s March. Must we really talk about the NFL right now?). Yes, Adrian Peterson — the league MVP –called his now former teammate Harvin “the best all-around player I ever seen”, but it’s about being paid, brow. There were a dozen Vikings earning more than Harvin’s $2,043,800 salary, including AD, who was earning more than five times as much. Harvin actually earns less than Christian Steele-Ponder. We were most surprised to learn that former ND offensive lineman John Sullivan makes $4,000,000 per year. That’s more than Joe Montana ever earned.

 

2. Brent Musburger Files

Now this is what’s known as a bad, bad beat. Iona was a minus-4 favorite, had an 8-point lead over Manhattan in the MAAC championship game with less than five seconds remaining, and still failed to cover. Why? The Jaspers hit a three with :01 left and then the Gaels rushed the court to celebrate their automatic NCAA tournament bid before the clock expired. The refs T’d up Iona, resulting in two Jasper free throws. From 60-52 to 60-57 in literally one second of play.  Expect ESPN editor-in-chief/gambling expert Chad Millman to devote an entire issue to this game.

3. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been a teenager and driven irresponsibly (five teens in the 1980s who had a 45-minute one-way commute to our Phoenix high school probably endured created six to seven near-death experiences that our parents are still blissfully unaware of). So, yes, it’s a tragedy that six teens died in Warren, Ohio, over the weekend when their (reportedly stolen) SUV flipped and landed upside down in a shallow swamp. The driver had been speeding and “driving crazy”, says one of two survivors from the wreck. Was the car stolen and what were eight adolescents doing out on a joy ride at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning are responsible questions to ask.

But teenagers and cars will always be a toxic mix. Ask any actuary. Also, this unconscious young man in Iowa was pulled from his burning vehicle by a police officer, saving his life. How did the teen get into this trouble in the first place? He was doing doughnuts in the snow when he crashed into a wall.

4. Naked men assemble in Vienna to attend an art exhibit, while men in robes assemble at the Vatican to select a new pope. Meanwhile, the word out of Castel Gandolfo is that recently retired Pope Benedict XVI has already gone through seasons 1-3 of Breaking Bad on Netflix. Meanwhile, the New York Times is reporting that American cardinals Seamus O’Malley and Timothy Dolan (who is not the GM of the New York Knicks) both have an outside shot of being elected pope. How cool would that be: If the pope were American and the president were not?

5. For what it’s worth, the nation’s scoring leader (Erick Green of  13-18 Virginia Tech, 25.4 ppg), the nation’s rebounding leader (Andre Roberson of 20-10 bubblicious Colorado, 11.5 per game), the nation’s assists leader (Jason Brickman of 19-13 LIU Brooklyn), the nation’s steals leader (Anthony Hickey of 18-11 LSU, 3.07 per game),

the nation’s three-pointers per game leader (Travis Bader of 16-16 Oakland, 4.19 per game) and the nation’s blocked shots leader (Nerlens Noel of 21-10 Kentucky, who is recovering from an ACL tear, 4.42 per game), will all likely be absent from this month’s NCAA tournament. That’s madness. Roberson, whose Buffs most likely need to win at least two games at this week’s Pac-12 tourney, has the best chance of having at least one shiny moment.

Reserves

Without a doubt the most joyous aspect of this story is the idea of anyone shouting “anti-Spokane rhetoric.” As in, “You’re no Tacoma!” or “Couer D’Alene has it all over you punks!” So if you couple the idea of USC (14-17) basketball players getting into a fight hours after losing by 25 points at Wazzu (!) with the postgame locker room fracas at the Sun Bowl after the Trojans lost to Georgia Tech (!!), all we can say is that USC is sorely in need of an athletic director with the wisdom and virtue of a guy like alumnus Pat Haden. If only he were working inside Heritage Hall.

The story noted that a USC seven-footer or two was involved in the fracas and perhaps not coincidentally, the Trojans have suspended both of their seven-foot centers, Dewayne Dedmon and James Blasczyk. This reminds me of the former Detroit-area hoops star (name currently escapes me) who descended into drugs and booze and decided to rob a convenience store. When the clerk recognized him, our bungling basketball burglar replied, “It isn’t me.” (Maybe he was just trying to quote Bob Dylan).

 

Also out west,  Gonzaga dominates St. Mary’s. After clinching the WCC championship and in all likelihood the No. 1 seed in the West (as predicted here a week ago), the Bulldogs and their fans could be heard shouting pro-Spokane rhetoric.

 

Remote Patrol

Summit League Championship Game

North Dakota State vs South Dakota State

ESPN2, 9 p.m.

You’ll want to watch SDSU’s Nate Wolters. Earlier this season the 6-4 senior scored 53 points against IPFW (Indiana-Purdue at Fort Wayne), the highest total of anyone this year. Wolters leads the 24-9 Jackrabbits in both scoring and assists and is second in rebounding. Also, how often do y0u get to see a Dakota on TV without having to sit through “I Am Sam?”