Starting Five
1. Does this mean Lance Armstrong will take the hill for the Sugar Land Skeeters?
2. Red Sox equal the Mets’ runs output in their last seven games, and still lose, 14-13, to the Angels.
Armstrong opts to take his ball and go home.
3. Tennessee suspends wide receiver Da’Rick Rogers, first-team All-SEC in 2011, indefinitely (read: for the season).
4. The world cried out for a musical version of The Silence of the Lambs, and (off-, off-) Broadway listened.
5. Messi scores. Ronaldo scores. Barca wins, 3-2.
The Bench
Quotable
“I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours. The toughest event in the world, where the strongest man wins. Nobody can ever change that.”
–Lance Armstrong, whom the USADA is doing its very best to turn into an even more sympathetic figure than he already was.
The NCAA denies the waiver request of Notre Dame transfer Aaron Lynch, a budding All-America at the most important on defense (if not all of football), defensive end, who is now attending classes at the University of South Florida. Lynch is originally from Florida. He can suit up for the Bulls, whose coach, Skip Holtz, is also a former Notre Dame gridder, in 2013.
“Step off, George! “Step off, Tony?” “You heard him, George, step off!”
T-shirt spotted in NYC:
Spoken like a bro
Samuel L. Jackson attends University of Georgia football practice. After all, they both despise reptiles.
On consecutive days the Mets handed the ball to rookie pitchers who weree not with the team one month earlier. The two hurlers, Matt Harvey and Colin McHugh, combined to toss 13 scoreless innings and strike out 18. New York lost both games.
Molly Palmer kills a 1,022-pound marlin. If something grows to that size, doesn’t it deserve to live? (the fish, too)
Steve Spence, 50, ran a 4:52.9 mile on Tuesday. Spence, who finished 12th in the marathon in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, has now run at least one sub-5:00 mile in each of the past 37 years. Our streak of not having run a sub-5:00 mile for 45 consecutive years is also intact.
No longer sub-50, but still running sub-5’s
Continuing today’s “Step off” series, 83 year-old Mimi Parkes rappels down the tallest building in Montana.
You’re thinking what I’m thinking: Miguel Cabrera doesn’t run fast enough to turn his ankle.
Gavin Smith disappeared on May 1st. The website his family set up to assist in the search for him, findgavinsmith.com, has not been updated since May 17. What gives?
This is the worst subway photo ever (do not open link if you plan to eat soon…or maybe just do not open link).
The New York Mets, whose offensive woes have become a minor obsession of ours (or hadn’t you noticed), have scored 13 runs in the past seven games. That’s still a larger number than the total points the New York Jets have scored in their first two preseason games (9).
A tune from the aforementioned “Silence of the Lambs” musical spoof, “It’s Me.”