Admittedly, we were flummoxed. “Sup-Harbaugh-l?” “SuperBros?” “From Here to Fraternity?” We realize fans were already sick of the puns before Ray Lewis began spewing post-game non sequiturs (“…the up-and-down roller coaster that we went through was just an example of everything that we had to go through…” This only works if the Ravens had literally taken a roller coaster ride, which they had not). So, we went with Jimmy Johns, in the spirit of SI’s “How About Chick-Fil-A?” cover, and we are hoping to bring in some badly needed endorsement bucks so that we don’t have to lay off our Day of Yore writer. Anyway…

Starting Five

1. Forty-Niners and Ravens win to advance to the Super Bowl.

    A. First time in 16 years both road teams win the AFC and NFC conference championship games.

   B. Tom Brady loses with a halftime lead in Foxborough for the first time in his career (67-1).

  C. Both home teams (Atlanta, New England) not only lose but are shut out in the second half after leading at half time.

   D. Raven safety Bernard Pollard, more deleterious to Boston sports than both Magic Johnson and Bucky Dent combined? Has any single player ever inflicted so much pain on one franchise (don’t all jump up and yell “Alex Rodriguez!” at once)?Even before yesterday’s contest, he had earned the nom de guerre of Patriot Killer. Why?

 In 2008, as a Kansas City Chief, he ended quarterback Tom Brady’s season in the opener when he hit Senor Bundchen low on a safety blitz, tearing his ACL and MCL. The following season, as a Houston Texan, his tackle of Wes Welker resulted in an ACL and MCL tear. In last January’s AFC Championship Game he inflicted a high ankle sprain on Rob Gronkowski on a tackle, which limited Gronk in the Super Bowl. And yesterday he literally and figuratively delivered a knockout blow, hitting running back Steven Ridley head to head. Ridley pirouetted and fell as if he’d been KO’d, the ball falling from his grasp and landing in a Raven defender’s arms. It may not have been the game’s coup de grace, but certainly it was the pivotal play, helping to turn an 8-point lead into a 15-point lead.

 You can almost, if you’d like, credit Pollard with robbing the Pats’ trophy case with at least one, if not two, Vince Lombardi trophies.

We might also mention that another Raven defender –Haloti Ngata– is responsible for all the misery that Robert Griffin III is undergoing. Clean hit, but it may have altered the future of RG3’s career.

F. Of all the comparisons you can make between ther 49ers and Ravens, this one is for us the most striking: these are easily the two hardest-hitting squads in the NFL. Super Bowl XLVII should be sponsored by Advil.

E. Tom Brady passed –in every sense — Brett Favre as the NFL’s all-time leader in playoff passing yards, while Joe Flacco became the first NFL quarterback to win six road games in the playoffs. It’s here that we love to remind you that Flacco transferred from Pittsburgh to Delaware because he could not beat out Tyler Palko. The DelMarVa area has been good to Flacco, and vice-versa.

 

2. It’s difficult to outdo the drama that Jimmy Chitwood and Norman Dale provided at Hinkle Field House a quarter-century ago, but credit Gonzaga and Butler (who both have done time as the Hickory High of the NCAA tournament in the past decade) for at least matching it. And for giving new meaning to the term “Final Four”, as in seconds.

Dick Vitale often uses the term “unbelievable”, but this truly was. Best finish of this season, of many seasons. If you haven’t seen it, Deadspin has everything that you require right here. There’s so much to love in these magical seconds, but how do you top Brad Stevens’ classic Anti-Valvano reaction to the shot? And, yes, earlier in the day Butler student Kevin Schwartz made his first halfcourt shot attempt on College Gameday to win $18,000.

More games from Hinkle, please. And less Final Fours from football domes. Thank you.

3. It hit us earlier this weekend, while listening to the opening chords and beats of a tune and misidentifying it. Listen to Foster the People’s “Pumped Up Kicks” from 2010. Now listen to the beginning of Love and Rockets’  “So Alive” from 1989.

4. Brooklyn Decker is running the Austin Marathon on February 17. So, line up early, spectators. The Austin Marathon is sponsored by the LIVESTRONG Foundation, by the way, whose founder (a man no longer associated with LIVESTRONG) is forbidden from taking part in it. 

 

5. If you have not been paying attention to the Northern Illinois men’s basketball team, that’s probably good for you. On Sunday the New York Times ran a story about how shooting in men’s college hoops has declined, and used the Huskies as a prime example. The NYT cited the December 1 NIU-Dayton contest in which the Huskies scored five first-half points, going 17 minutes and 15 shots without a bucket. The final was somewhat respectable, a 60-43 defeat.

So how did NIU respond to being called out nationally? Yesterday they amassed their lowest point total in 67 years, losing 71-34 to Western Michigan. The Huskies shot 20% from the floor and 50% from the free throw line. Someone in DeKalb should place a phone call to Kevin Schwartz.

Reserves

Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o made both the cold open and “Weekend Update” on Saturday Night Live. Deadspin’s expose on Te’o’s fauxmance with Lennay Kekua received more than 2.7 million hits, easily the most-viewed story in the site’s seven-plus years of existence. Losers? Notre Dame, Te’o and Rick Reilly’s August 16 column.

Over the weekend the South Bend Tribune ran a detailed story concerning the internal investigation that Notre Dame conducted after Te’o informed them of the hoax on December 26. Within the story it is revealed that the investigation was limited to electronic research and that “investigators did not interview Te’o or his family, nor did anyone attempt to contact Ronaiah Tuiasosopo or his relatives.”

Poorly played, Irish. To think that Te’o is the only “victim” in this mess is naive. Your school’s reputation has also suffered some damage. You owe it to yourselves to fully investigate Te’o’s phone records, etc., even though no crime has been committed. If you want to fully exonerate Te’o, and by association, yourselves, this needs to happen.

****

There’s a cross-country bicycle race, the Race Across America (RAAM), in which there are no stages. It starts at the Pacific Ocean and ends at the Atlantic, and takes place each June. RAAM does do drug-testing, so we assume that Lance Armstrong is also banned from that race, but we are still looking into it. We just can’t imagine Armstrong won’t search far and wide to find an endurance race of some sort (mud runs? Warrior Dash?) in which he can compete. It’s what keeps his heart beating, after all (and, no, we do not feel sorry for him).

And, for the record, Armstrong has pondered competing in RAAM in the past. And just three years ago RAAM’s CEO, a cancer survivor, called Lance and RAAM “a perfect fit.” Now? We’ll see.