Starting Five
1. You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown
On yesterday’s ballot no one is elected to The Baseball Hall of Fame. Superstars such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and, yes, Luis Polonia, will not have their afternoon in Cooperstown. At least not this July. Maybe they should all make a date with Oprah.
2. Brian Kelly is happily married, but hey, if Charlize Theron is in town and wants to meet for a drink…
The Notre Dame head coach interviews with the Philadelphia Eagles one day after the Irish fall 42-14 to Alabama in the National Championship Game. (New York Daily News sports TV critic Bob Raissman refers to it as a “heartless, gutless performance”…the game, that is). During Saturday’s media day at Sun Life Stadium Kelly said, “I have the best job in the country– NFL, college, high school, whatever. Leaving is not an option.”
3. What is more dire than a fiscal cliff? As it turns out, an actual cliff
Two men frolicking inside of a giant inflatable ball (“He lives in a bubble.” “Boy.”) bounce right over a cliff at a ski resort in Russia’s Caucasus Mountain. One perishes. The extreme “sport” is known as Zorbing.
4. Seth McFarland gives best performance at 5:45 a.m. local time while presenting Oscar nominations…
McFarland, on a foreign-language film that was co-produced by Austria and Germany: “The last time Austria and Germany got together to co-produce something it was Hitler.”
Your Best Picture nominees: Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lincoln, Django Unchained, Les Miserables, Life of Pi and Amour. Our very, very early bet (based on the other nominees: Silver Linings Playbook, followed closely by Lincoln)
5. What does “AIG” stand for? “Cojones Gigante!”
American International Group, which exists today thanks to a $182 billion federal bailout at the height of the recession four years ago, strongly considers joining a lawsuit against the U.S. government. The lawsuit, which has been filed by other such companies, alleges that the federal government failed to provide AIG shareholders with adequate compensation while taking over 80% of the company. In layman’s terms: you saved my life when I was drowning and you reached that paddle out to me, but I got a few splinters in my hand and I’d like to be compensated for that trauma.