Editor’s Note: Apologies for the late post. Your craven correspondent had to work a late shift — and it was bug night! — followed by an early shift, followed by a much overdue period of dormancy, a.k.a., Medium Nappy. But we are back. Thank you for your patience.
Starting Five
1. Pablo Honey: Pablo Sandoval, the San Francisco Giants’ DFG (Designated Fat Guy) hits three home runs, two off Justin Verlander, as SFG wins Game One of the World Series against the Detroit Tigers. Worth noting:
A. Sandoval joins Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson and Albert Pujols as the only players to hit three homers in one World Series game and, statistically speaking, now has a 66.6% chance of having a candy bar named in his honor.
B. Sandoval was benched during the 2010 World Series while the Giants’ winning pitcher, Barry Zito, was left off the roster for that Fall Classic, which the Giants won.
C. A record nine Venezuelan players are on the two teams’ WS rosters. We hereby name the area surrounding AT&T Park Hugo Chavez Ravine.
D. Sandoval got to third base on Verlander in the All-Star Game and last night rounded the bases on him twice. He’s the Kate Upton of hitters.
E. We, too, were going to go with “PANDA-MONIUM” but that became too overused. So we decided to throw a bone to our Thom Yorke and Radiohead fans. Which reminds us of this video (we are TOTALLY that guy, by the way)
F. Sports Illustrated ESPN writer Pablo Torre (which would also be a good name for an album) made his tie-less debut on “Around the Horn” this afternoon. All in all, a good 24 hours for Pablos. (p.s. Nobody moves to ESPN the Magazine to further his or her literary career; they move because they love the idea of being more famous. Godspeed, Pablo, but there’s more to life than being recognized at a Buffalo Wild Wings).
Pablo’s Parobolas…
2. Taylor Swift. She’s been on Good Morning, America and Letterman this week during her Swiftkrieg through Gotham City. We know it can be a little much — someone tweeted that they’d love to date her for a month and then write a song entitled “Maybe You’re the Problem” but then there are moments such as this one with a clearly enchanted Dave, or this one with Dave (“Hang on to your wigs and keys”) (check out the Aqua Net on the lead guitarist, by the way), or this one from earlier this year with Ellen, and well, we know we shouldn’t be sucked in, but we are. This remains our favorite T-Swizzle moment.
3. And of course, in the time it took us to write that last item, Taylor Swift dumped Conor Kennedy. Ouch.
“It got colder/That’s where it ends/But I told him/We’d still be friends…”
4. David Stern announces that he will step down as NBA commissioner in 2014, on the 30th anniversary of the day in which he took power. First, Fidel Castro. Then Gaddafi. Tony LaRussa. Joe Paterno. Ali Abdullah Saleh. Now Stern. Who’s left? Is it this guy?
5. Even after making the cover of SI in ignominious fashion, the Honey Badger still didn’t give a ____. The cover jinx lives.
The next nationally circulated picture of Tyrann Mathieu you will see will be a mugshot.
Reserves
If you ever want to create a “B-List of American cities”, just find where NBA teams play their preseason games. Last night the Oklahoma City Thunder played in Wichita. When Thunder center Serge Ibaka discovered that the flight home would only take 20 minutes, he suggested, “Why don’t we just walk home?” (Royce White would be down with that).
Lane Kiffin has now coached a game in New Jersey this season and had his players switch to new jerseys in a game this season. Either way, the USC coach has a penchant for being, you know, kind of a d-bag.
Lolo Jones makes the Olympic boblsed team. Cue jealous anonymous bobsled teammates.
Hey, why not?
It’s funny, isn’t it, how often Swedish princesses and wealthy financiers can find each other to be soul mates?
Our man Brian Hamilton, who does an exemplary job of covering the Fighting Irish for the Chicago Tribune, has had a few stories on SI.com in the past week or two. That’s all we’ll say about that.
For the record, here’s the first story we found on SI.com about the Tyrann Mathieu arrest. Notice how the local affiliate that broke the story is credited in the first paragraph. And here’s the first ESPN.com piece on the subject. No mention of WAFB. And suddenly we are the Poynter Institute.
Okay, that’s it for today…it’ll be tomorrow before we know it.