by John Walters

Without A Plan(demic)

Congratulations, America! On Wednesday we set a record for the most new cases in one day with more than 49,000. Arizona and California each achieved record highs. It was the fifth time in the past eight days America has set a new record-high and Dr. Fauci assures us we can get to 100K.

Here’s the thing: Americans by and large aren’t truly afraid of the coronavirus. They see the gigantic disconnect between cases and deaths and, unlike AIDS, they don’t believe that contracting it is a death sentence. Because, well, it isn’t. Right now in the U.S. you have less than a 5% chance of dying if you contract Covid-19.

But, of course, the more people who do contract it, the greater the number of people that will die (America, with 4% of the world’s population, has 25% of its cases). It’s just that too many Americans don’t care to read the fine print on the Social Contract. It only applies to what’s convenient for them.

AZ vs NZ

Meanwhile, let’s compare two nations. Or one state and one nation.

Arizona is a state that has 113,998 square miles and 7.2 million people.

That equates to 63 people per square mile.

New Zealand is a nation of 103,489 square miles and 4.89 million people.

That equates to roughly 47 people per square mile.

To complete the ratio, for every four New Zealanders in an enclosed area, you’re talking about 5 1/4 Arizonans in that same space. A little more crowded, but not quite 30% more.

Arizona, which is not as isolated as New Zealand (almost no place is) but is still relatively unto itself, has had 1,740 coronavirus deaths. New Zealand has had 22 coronavirus deaths.

In short: Arizona has had nearly 80 times as many coronavirus fatalities as New Zealand despite having a population density only 1.3 times greater. With a comparative population and land mass.

It gets worse: Let’s do Japan versus Arizona. Japan has nearly 18 times the population Arizona does in an area that is not even 1 1/2 times as large. Again, Arizona: 1,740 coronavirus deaths. Japan? 94.

We are failing spectacularly. As a country. And here, as a state. Cuz Americans and Arizonans are proudly defiant… even if it kills them.

And Yet, A Quarter Like No Other

As of April 1 there were officially 3,170 coronavirus deaths in the U.S. That means that in the second quarter of the year (April-May-June) there were at least 127,000 official coronavirus deaths in the country. To our knowledge nothing outside of cancer or heart disease has ever killed that many Americans in one year (much less three months) since at least the Spanish flu of 1918-1920.

Also, a just-released Yale study speculates (based on the average number of deaths in that three-month span year after year) that at least 25,000 more Americans may have died from the coronavirus than is presently thought. Any way you slice it, an unprecedented (in the past century) circus of death in the U.S. the past three months.

And yet (or “And thus?”) the stock market just had its most bullish quarter in 32 years. The Dow was up 17.8%, its best quarter since 1987. But the Dow wasn’t even as bullish as the S & P 500 (up 20%) or the NASDAQ (up 30.6%).

Go figure.

28 Pages

Twenty-eight pages. Wow. 28. Twenty + Eight. 28 pages. Really. 4 x 7 pages. Fuh real.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary*

• The judges will also accept “Mary, Mary, Why You Buggin'” cuz they love the hip hop (hurray, oh, ay, oh, ay, oh)

For us, the book is not even out yet, and the most shocking revelation to come from the hubbub about the book by Mary L. Trump, the president’s niece, is that Donald Trump has a younger brother. And he’s alive.

Did you know this? I did not know this. How has this guy managed to stay out of the news the past five years? His name is Robert Trump and Mary, who has written a “tell-all” book about her wealthy uncle titled Too Much And Never Enough: How My Family Created The World’s Most Dangerous Man, is actually not his daughter.

Mary is the daughter of Fred Trump, the oldest of the five Trump tykes and the one who was an alcoholic and died of a heart attack at age 42. But there is a Robert Trump, who is also Mary’s uncle. Never knew that.

Robert, 72, is the one technically suing Mary about the release of the book (due out July 28) because she signed an NDA in 2001. A lower court blocked publication of the book but yesterday an appellate court said that the book may proceed on schedule (hence Team Trump will go from attempting to block the book to defaming it as “Fake News,” but will not file a libel suit because it isn’t Fake News, after all, and they’d be afraid of what would come out in discovery, but you won’t hear any of this on Fox News).

Mary Trump has a PhD in psychology, a Masters in literature from Columbia, and a lifetime in the Trump family. Who better to write this book?

About six months ago—you can search for it in a post from mid-January if you’re interested—we predicted that anyone holding on to Tesla shares for the next six months would be very happy that they did.

How’d that work out?

On January 3rd, the first day of trading in 2020, Tesla opened at $440 per share as analysts warned that Tesla shares were getting a little too far over their skis.

Today? July 1st? Six months later. Tesla currently trading at $1,123, a better than 180% jump. I’m going to be ill.

by John Walters

We awoke on Monday morning and revved up the computer machine and saw the same thing you saw: there was no MH server (as a sometime server, I was nonplussed… minused, even). Oue first thought was, Guess we’ve finally pushed Susie B. too far. But as it turns out we’d simply forgotten to pay the electric bill. We scampered over to our “In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass” friend, Tim “Oak” O’Connor. He understands how computer machines work. And fixed the problem. I owe him $20. That’s right, Susie B.: you get to read this for free, but I have to pay to write it. ‘Merica!

But no Jacob, this was not a Cancel Culture moment. Nor was this a response to Gov. Ducey’s latest shutdown about-face (about-facemask).

On with the show…

Cam, Patriots: Compatriots

The New England Patriots have signed free agent quarterback Cam Newton and why not? He’s still one of the most physically gifted human beings to ever play the position. Now Bill Belichick needs to go “two solariums!” and sign Colin Kaepernick as his backup. Two guys who’ve led their teams to the Super Bowl in the past ten years: How many other dudes can you say that about who don’t already have a starting spot or are named Manning?

Answer: Zero (Nick Foles and Joe Flacco are likely to start for the Bears and Jets, respectively, whose fans are immune to torture by this point).

Newton is also a former NFL MVP (and Heisman winner). Not a lot of those around on the junk heap.

A Meme Is Worth A Thousand Lives

Thanks to our friend in Park City, the great and Powerful Oz, who sent this along yesterday. A few of us were texting and one friend was unhappy because he thought other friend(s) had blocked him on our text chain. And so, being the insensitive puke that I am, I texted back, “Blocked Lives Matter.” And then Oz sent this.

****

We interrupt today’s blog to note that our Arizona State online course, “Sports and Media” (MCO 465 in your scorecards) goes live today. We have no idea (yet) how you can take this course as a non-degree seeking student, but you still can for the next 24 hours. We’ll look into it or you can if you are sufficiently motivated. Sorry, Susie B., you’ll have to pay for this.

******

To Russia With Love

So over the weekend The New York Times releases a report that says U.S. intelligence believes the Russians were issuing bounties on U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan and were paying off the Taliban for scores (Sean Payton was exonerated early in the process). And, AND THIS IS THE BIG DEAL, President Trump was notified of this. Back in February.

Pret-tee, pret-tee big. Particularly because at least one incident in which three Marines were killed in a roadside blast is directly linked to this.

So what does the President do? He retweets a video of some old white folks in The Villages, Fla., having their own private golf-cart assisted race war (with a “White Power!” chant). And then two days later he retweets the godawful, overweight St. Louis couple who stepped out of their mansion to go Rambo on protesters who’d committed the sin of walking down a “private street.” (The dude was a total cliche: about 30 pounds overweight and trying to fit into khakis he purchased 25 pounds ago).

Anyway, we’ve just wasted a paragraph on the President’s latest dog whistles (air horns) to his racist base and lost track of the actual issue: Donald Trump is Russia’s bitch.

I personally think it’s this simple: When Trump was bankrupt the Russians “lent” him a ton of money in the form of overpaying for Trump properties. He also got their money in the door at Deutsche bank as a means of lending it to him through supposedly above-board means. Why Deutsche would do business with a three-time bankruptcy loser like Trump in the early ’90s is beyond anyone’s ken other than to note that the Russians were really bankrolling him behind the scenes.

Trump will never take on Putin. Never. And so he’s either got to be shown to be incompetent for not paying attention to the intel or callous for not caring about American soldiers’ lives. What he does instead is get people talking about how he supports racism while implausibly denying even that.

Fossils & Foxes

You don’t even need a locator to realize within five seconds that this band is from the South. Or that at least one of the young ladies is the daughter of the guitar player fronting the band. This video is 10 years old now, but the aptly named band still plays gigs and if you go down a YouTube rabbit hole you can see them covering “Our Lips Are Sealed” (!), “Rolling In The Deep”, “I Can’t Let Go” (an all-timer favorite tune of MH), “Doctor My Eyes,” “Seven Bridges Road” and a few too many Todd Rundgren covers for our liking.

But this tune, this cover of “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” by Crosby, Stills & Nash, is mesmerizing. That’s a really, really difficult song and they simply nailed it. Not bad for a dad-bod band.

They’re from the Atlanta area, by the way.

Talk About Cross-Promotion

Three days ago the HBO true-crime series “I’ll Be Gone In The Dark” premiered. Two days ago the serial killer-and-rapist who is the impetus behind the series, and the object of amateur sleuth Michelle McNamara’s obsession for the last 10 or so years of her life, confessed to all the crimes.

We won’t write his name here, but his first rape occurred on June 18, 1976. And he was free and unknown up until just two or so years ago, when DNA evidence linked him to the crime (a family member had gone on a genealogy site and that’s how they got a DNA match to the killer). Still, nearly 45 years of not being apprehended and then he comes to trial just one day after the premiere of the HBO series.

McNamara, a Notre Dame alum who was married to comedian Patton Oswalt, died of natural causes in 2016 at the age of 45. Her book on her obsessive quest to find the killer, I’ll Be Gone In The Dark (released posthumously with the help of two writers and Oswalt), is excellent if you’re looking for a good read.