2020 HINDSIGHT

If you read The Big Short by Michael Lewis (put it on your list if you haven’t), or saw the film, then you know Michael Burry. Christian Bale played him in the movie. He’s a hero of mine.

Socially awkward and with a bizarre condition that keeps him from looking at people directly head on, Burry nevertheless is brilliant. He was doing a medical residency at Stanford when he dropped out to solely advise investors (he’d started an investing blog in med school that proved so popular and he had so many well-heeled followers willing to give him their money that he chose this path).

Burry was one of the big winners of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. Why? Because he coldly analyzed the data two to three years earlier and saw that, even though the housing market had only grown in the past 60 years since the Depression, that prices of homes had only gone upward, that that was about to change. Burry saw that too many Americans were buying homes that were out of their price range, that too many would default on loans that were honey traps, and that too many homes were still being built.

Not an emotional or sentimental type—he’s borderline Aspberger’s, or so it seemed—Burry was not swayed at all by the wave of euphoria at how well the market was doing, or how the housing market had always improved. He looked at the data. And he made the greatest contrarian bet you could possibly make: he bought insurance against bundled mortgages failing. And while Burry never saw a return for nearly two years, when that horse finally came in he made HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars. He was the guy who picked Leicester City to win the Premier League when no one else did (not literally, just metaphorically).

Burry’s success makes me think about how blind I was (and perhaps you, too) in just the past two-plus months. The coronavirus news hit just before the Chinese Lunar New Year. It had an obvious angle to seduce news editors. And it was originating from the most populous nation in the world. One that is also the origin point of America’s supply chain. It was like we were flying in a commercial airliner and one of the engines blew and now, looking back, none of us paid attention.

Mitt Romney’s speech. The good ol’ days.

What was I obsessed with in the first two weeks of January? Tesla stock, surely. Also, how much more the market would rise and if it would breach 30,000, something that seemed to hinge on whether or not President Trump was impeached. Impeachment! Remember that?

I’ve used this analogy on Twitter, but in hindsight (2020 hindsight in fact!) we were all like that cop in Austin Powers who seems traumatized by the steam roller headed his way even though we had like 30 seconds to get out of the way.

Like many of you, I didn’t get out of the way until way too late. The signs were all there, but I was feeling the feels of the daily vibe of the market. Ignoring the algorithms and the rising death toll in China, the news of the spread to Iran, Italy and even to Washington. As soon as the first person in California came down with it, someone who hadn’t even traveled to China, I should’ve moved entirely to cash. Maybe you did. Surely someone did. Somewhere out there is a Michael Burry of 2020. Would love to meet him.

The good news, for investors, is that the next 6 months offers a tremendous opportunity. I’m done, at least for the time being, and possibly or a long, long time, providing particulars. Why listen to a dope, right? But in general, don’t worry or obsess over how much you’ve lost in the past week or so. And don’t try to make it all back today or tomorrow. It might even be smart to do nothing.

Ask yourself where the market will be in a month. Why? When will the bottom hit? What news will precipitate a bottom and what will precipitate a recovery? And listen to the experts.

When Dr. Fauci goes on national news shows and says, “This will get much worse before it gets better,” I believe him. He’s not running for office. He can afford to be candid.

So, first of all, if your biggest concern is your portfolio and not your health, be thankful. Second, wait for the White House to be more preoccupied with fighting the coronavirus than it is with fighting the Wall Street plunge. The irony is that the more Trump says “I want to keep the numbers low,” the more the Dow’s numbers go lower.

You want to hear about bed availability. About tests truly getting to people. About West Virginia finally recording a positive test. About ventilator production being ramped up. When America, and the White House, is finally ready to accept the reality of the virus, then and only then will the markets begin to recover. Me, I still think we got a ways to go. In the Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross DABDA model, we’re still only just past the first “D” (Denial). Maybe not even past it yet.

If I sound negative and pessimistic, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to sound realistic. It was only six days ago that I said all sports events need to be canceled through March and that I was pilloried on Twitter for it. So I think that it’s going to take a big name, either a celebrity or a nationally known politician, to die before America has its next real wake-up call. This is still a disease that’s happening to people we don’t know. At least on a grand scale. Maybe when that changes people’s attitudes will change.

In the meantime, I’ll try to think more like Michael Burry. Listen to the data, and not to how you feel. Or want to feel. It could be the smartest financial move we ever make.

STARTING FIVE

Live from the Hunker Bunker, somewhere in the Sonoran desert…

Coronavirus Updates*

CASES DEATHS

U.S.A.

Cases: 3,602

Deaths 66

WORLD

Cases: 167,400

Deaths: 6,329

*Source: New York Times

Safe At Home

Good coronavirus advice from Dorothy: “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

Coronavirus-related self-quarantine films we might recommend:

Panic Room, Rear Window, Room, Night Of The Living Dead, The Apartment, The Diary Of Anne Frank

Your ideas welcome.

It Was The Worst Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times

News from Arizona is that the local Medieval Times castle will be shutting down for awhile. Our suggestion is that it return as End Times, which will feature runs on toilet paper and a jousting match between Yamiche Alcindor and Donald Trump.

Profiles In Presidential Courage

“The buck stops here” –Harry Truman, 1946

“I take no responsibility at all” –Donald Trump, 2020

Tragic Kingdom*

*The judges liked this better as a No Doubt album

Crowd shots from places like Walt Disney World, New Orleans’ Bourbon Street and Nashville bars is the “Let them eat cake” of 2020. Don’t ya think? By the way, I sorta feel as if 2020 began when Kevin Durant tore his Achilles tendon in Game 5. That’s when the sad trombone began playing for me (and it wasn’t that I wanted the Dubs to win—though I did—I just wanted to see both teams at full strength).

Stockpile Bro

Colvin looks as if he’s slept well since the story appeared.

Matt Colvin, the Tennessee dude who purchased nearly 18,000 worth of hand sanitizer two weeks ago with the idea of selling it on Amazon, but was then profiled in The New York Times, has announced that he will be giving it all away. So that’s a nice gesture. We’ve also added “hoarder shaming” to the list of 2020 things.

NATURAL SELECTION SUNDAY*

(PROPS TO OUR PAL MATT ZEMEK, @MattZemek, for thinking of the above)

Check out this Flesh Mob.

Here’s what’s happening at major domestic airports that receive plenty of international flights, such as O’Hare, JFK and I assume Hartsfield. Social distancing, this is not.

Let’s see, federal government, what would be the very worst thing you could possibly do in the face of a pandemic? I’ll go:

  1. Announce an abrupt stoppage of inbound flights from Europe before informing airports or even your embassies in those nations, much less the leaders of those nations. This will induce mass panic from travelers abroad, not to mention Wall Street.
  2. Offer no assistance to the governors of those states, or the mayors of those cities, where the airports are located. It’s like announcing that Popeye’s chicken sandwiches will be free for the next 48 hours without telling the store managers beforehand. The staff can in no way handle the onslaught.
  3. Because of 1 and 2, you create the situation above. Travelers from countries where the virus is more embedded mingling among one another in incredibly tight quarters for an extended period of time. They’re also mingling with domestic travelers as well as airport staffers.
  4. Not taking the temperatures of anyone who arrives and having no system in place to quarantine anyone who is symptomatic.
  5. Letting all of these people eventually leave and disperse the virus to parts unknown, all over the country.

Is that it? Is there yet an even worse way the federal government might have handled this that I haven’t considered?

Someone close told me yesterday that they believe this corona crisis will bring the country together? To this point, the exact opposite has happened as the nation has been divided between those who take it seriously and those who are cavalier, between those who take it seriously and those who call it a Democratic scheme or constantly point out that it’s from China or who warn us not to “politicize” it. Between those who take it seriously and Donald Trump.

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This is a worthwhile read, from Peter Wehner in The Atlantic. “The Trump Presidency Is Over.”

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This is courageous and on the mark:

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I’ve been referring to this entire episode of late, at least in my own head, as The Triumph of Ignorance. You see the Oklahoma governor tweeting about being out and about with his family, or the Florida pol pissed off that his family vacation to Vail was ruined because Vail closed down (news flash: short MTN). You see the Buffoon In Chief holding a National Day of Prayer in order to appease and appeal to his Christian Right Wing Evangelist idiot base, the ones who are almost praying for an end of days scenario.

Courtney Love with the only message that matters

These are the same people, not just those two but the folks who attend MAGA rallies, who poo poo climate change. They don’t believe in anything that they don’t already see, unless it’s connected to Baby Jesus. It’s all about to change, and at that point instead of asking hard questions about the federal government and leadership they’ll blame China, or globalization, or Italy, or the Democrats. I call this The Trish Regan Tango. Anything to not have to face the truth.

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1239219334263623685?s=20

In a couple of weeks, maybe a month, there are going to be plenty more funerals. And officials are going to advise people not to attend. It’s gonna be like that. If it’s mine, in lieu of attendance just read back-issues of the blog, please. Although I don’t think it’ll be mine. I’m fortunate enough to be in about the best situation possible (free lasagna, I might add). I just hope it’s not yours.

CHILD’S PLAY

Meet Donny and Tony, a couple of kids from the outer boroughs. Donny grew up in Queens and made his money in real estate and grifting. Tony is from Queens and became a doctor. Both are in their seventies, Tony being about five years older.

For the past three years Donny had the most important job on the planet. Now Tony does, but Donny is sorta his boss. Tony is a very intelligent guy, extremely mature. Donny is bombastic and we think he can read.

Now here’s the thing. Donny is being faced with the most existential crisis this country has faced at least since 9/11, perhaps since World War II. And he’s called in Tony to help since Tony is better-equipped to tackle the problem than anyone alive. There’s just one problem: at least half of Tony’s job is managing Donny. Maybe more.

See, as we’ve already noted, Tony is very smart. He’s good at reading people. And what he knows is that Donny respects two things and two things only: money and power. And for Donny nothing is out of bounds—not lies, not crimes, nothing—in the pursuit of those two goals. Tony, on the other hand, has devoted his life to helping and healing people. He’s actually worked much harder and taken jobs that pay way less in order to help people. That’s who he is.

Now here’s another thing that Tony knows about Donny: that this man is completely tethered not only to self-gratification, but also to immediate self-gratification. It’s why he stages these rallies nearly every week. He doesn’t do it because he wants to be reelected, although he does. He feeds off the high he gets from the adulation. Finally, late in life, he’s able to bathe in this naked approbation.

So Tony knows this about Donny. Meanwhile, he’s been put in charge of tackling this pandemic thing, which is a word people probably needed to define for Donny some time within the last month.

Donny wants the stock market to remain high. If the market is high, he can say that the economy is great (the greatest ever), and that will get him reelected, and then he can spend four more years staging rallies and feeding off the love. That’s power.

As far as Donny is concerned, he needs this pandemic to go away as soon as possible so that it doesn’t interfere with this incredible bull market. But Tony knows that it doesn’t work that way. He tries to explain to Donny that the only way this goes away is with a vaccine, and that won’t come until a year from now, which is after the election.

So Donny says, “Well, we can speed it up, right? We’re America. We can get one of those vaccines out in a few weeks?” No, Tony says. Vaccines don’t work that way. There are clinical trials yada yada yada and Donny’s already moved on the the next idea.

“Okay, if we can’t get a vaccine quickly, then we can just keep the numbers down.” What? “Keep the numbers down. If people don’t get tested, then there’s no proof that they had this virus. So that’ll keep the numbers down.”

But what happens when people begin dying by the hundreds and thousands? “People die of the flu every year, right? People die of pneumonia. That’s what they died of.”

Tony is in a jam. He believes that the best way to help America is to be spear-heading this presidential task force. But he also understands that his boss’ primary concern is not taking care of people; it’s making the disease disappear (even if it hasn’t) so that the stock market will climb back toward 30,000.

“All those people in hospitals?” Fake news.

“All the deaths overseas?” That’s their problem.

Tony’s not anti-capitalist. Somewhere on his priority list, probably lower, he’d like to see the stock market climb as well. But Tony understands highly infectious diseases. He understands terms such as “flattening the curve” and “exponential.” And what he’s trying to convince his boss, who only understands immediate gratification, is that they must be transparent about this virus and that they must be candid with the American people about what needs to be done.

In the short run that means the economy will literally grind to a halt in a way that none of us have ever seen, at least not beyond a few days. And that will tank the market further, in the near term. But if we don’t take those measures, the numbers of cases and deaths will be exponentially higher.

Donny counters, “Unless we don’t let people get tests. Even though we say they can.”

But the media will unearth the disparity between what we say and what is happening. Doctors and nurses will talk. The cover-up will be everywhere.

“I’ll just keep saying, ‘Fake News,'” Donny says.

Tony tries to persuade his boss that it’s like that old commercial line from the auto mechanic: You can pay me now or you can pay me later. Tony says that it’s better to take the pain now because ultimately the pain will be fractional as to what it might’ve been. Donny simply doesn’t understand. If he can just tell enough lies to keep America optimistic, if he can placate the public at least until early November, that’s all that matters to him. And by the way, why do all these media outlets have to keep updating the number of cases and deaths. Who’s giving that information to them? We need to stop that.

Tony really wants to help America. But his boss only traffics in self- and immediate gratification. Tony knows that the only effective measure against this virus, until a vaccine is developed, is to mandate that Americans go into exile, so to speak. To shut down culture, crowds and most of the economy.

To get as many people tested as possible. Whereas Donny wants to have as few people tested as possible, himself included.

Tony is in a jam. As were General Kelly, General Mattis, etc. He doesn’t really believe in this president, and he knows that Donny’s behavior is actually horribly counterproductive. But Tony thinks the best way for him to help is to be the president’s resident expert. If only Tony can get Donny to see that it’s the disease that needs to be tackled, not Wall Street. But Donny doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t care about people. He cares about wealth. And power. And satisfying himself.

Two guys from the outer boroughs. Two very different lives lived. Two entirely different sets of values. Donny’s the boss. And Tony’s his fixer. But Tony knows that Donny is part of the problem, perhaps the biggest part of it outside of the virus itself. And Donny only wants to hear about lower numbers, not about how much it will cost or how long it will take.

How long will this marriage last? Anyone’s guess.

STARTING FIVE: SATURDAY SERENADE

The weekend is here but there’s no conference tournaments or even XFL matchups (I miss you already, Houston Roughnecks). So we’ll provide some content and if you’d like to as well, reach out to us.

Blue Flu

Per the New York Times coronavirus updates page, which is now free, so quit your whining, here are the top five states in terms of coronavirus positive cases this morning:

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1238841041085542402?s=20

One of the many reasons that President Trump is not taking this seriously. He may even be giddy about it. Also, imagine when cage-’em-cuz-we-can’t-kill-’em Stephen Miller informs Trump that most of the fatalities will be people on Social Security, this will only please Trump more. And, please. Let’s not pretend that he cares about the American people. As soon as the presser was over yesterday, he actually autographed a chart of the Dow’s jump yesterday and sent it to Lou Dobbs.

You know that Beatles song, “Can’t Buy Me Love?” Trump universally disagrees with every word of that tune.

Diagnosis Murder

Want to see why there’s a better chance that one of your parents or grandparents is going to die in the next six months than there was before 2020 started? Watch the video above.

Earlier in the same presser, NBC News’ Kristin Welker asked President Trump what responsibility he feels about the pandemic that has accelerated on our shores due in part to his denial of it much of the past six weeks (yes, let’s give him credit for the ban on flights from China, but otherwise…) and he took the opportunity to write his six-word epitaph: “I don’t take responsibility at all.

That’s my president!

Today in “Americans Suck”

Almost every time I see someone note on Twitter, after particularly bad behavior, such as shooting a lion with a crossbow or live-tweeting a couple’s breakup on an airplane, that “people suck,” I note to myself, Ah, but those people are Americans.

Wake up, America. We suck. We’re arrogant. We’re selfish. We’re self-absorbed. We’re… mostly stupid.

Oh, and thanks for reading this site. But you know it’s true.

Our latest example of “Americans Suck” is Tennessee man and (likely) serial masturbator Matt Colvin, who bought up nearly $18,000 worth of hand sanitizer bottles that cost $1 per and is now trying to sell them on Amazon for $20 apiece. I don’t often advocate arson, but if you happen to be driving past Mr. Colvin’s home and you just happen to have a Molotov Cocktail within reach, why not give it a toss?

Mr. Colvin does this for a living. He stockpiles items that he thinks are trendy and then re-sells them on Amazon. This hand sanitizer scheme is just his latest deal. That’s his idea of capitalism. Ours should be to boycott him.

Coping With Corona

Here’s Zack Rosenblatt of NJ.com (I think that was and maybe still is The Newark Star-Ledger) on how to cope with the coronavirus, particularly if you’re a sports fan, from A to Z.

Here’s some of our own suggestions: TCM, Books (read them!), Hiking, Running, Looking Up At The Sky, Road Trips To Remote Areas, Medium Happy, Twitter, Musicianship (If you were ever going to pick up that French Horn), Polyglotism, Binge-watching (but only in moderation), Pets (maybe buy one, and not just a dog or a cat) and Cooking, Reading Those Magazines You’ve Been Stockpiling, Binge-Boozing (again, in moderation).

Yours are welcome…

Sports Year

His name was Jack Glasscock and he was the the top fielder of the 1880s

Had this idea last night. A sports channel should be dedicating original programming to one-hour shows that dissect a year in sports, beginning at some year in the late 1800s. By the end of the 19th century, after all, America already had Major League Baseball, college football, horse racing and I think 24-hour bicycle races. You wanna learn more about the Brooklyn Superbas? So do I!

Since we cannot count on ESPN or Fox Sports to do this, we’ll begin this at some point next week. If you have a suggestion as to which year we should start (1887? Why would you suggest that???), do tell.

Jersey Girl

https://twitter.com/LauraBenanti/status/1238540113795309569?s=20

It turns out that Tony Award-winning actress Laura Benanti, whom you may have seen imperonating Melania Trump on Stephen Colbert’s late-night show, is as beautiful inside as out. Of course she’s from New Jersey. Of course.

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