The most 1970s named player in the NBA, Lou Williams, torches Golden State for a career-high 50 points as the Clippers win 125-106 in Oakland. Williams, a 12-year pro who never attended college, scored 27 in the third quarter. He was 8 for 16 from beyond the arc as the Clips outscored the Dubs, who were without the world’s best backcourt, by 23 points in the second half.
Meanwhile, Durant Durant passed the 20,000 career-point mark (second-youngest after Sweet Pea) while putting down 40 himself.
2. Racial Slur-pee*
*The judges will not accept “ICE, ICE, Baby,” they just won’t
All of us at one time or another have visited a 7-11 to pick up ice. But who among us has had ICE pick us up at a 7-11?
Yesterday ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) agents swept through some 100 7-11’s in 17 states telling owners to produce valid employment records for their employees showing either that they are citizens or have a valid green card. Does the Dollar Store sell Slim Jims, I wonder?
3. She’s The Yuan
Yesterday The New York Times introduced the most envied and itinerant print journalist in the world for 2018. Jada Yuan, a 39 year-old Chinese-American (checks box) female (checks box) from northern New Mexico who lives in Brooklyn (checks box) and has a B.A. in history from Yale (checks three boxes), won the gig. She’ll travel to all of the NYT’s “52 Places To Go” this year—as soon as she dumps her boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Whatever.
Us? Jealous? C’mon!
4. The Manchester Scene
Raheem Sterling leads Man City with 14 goals
Now that we’ve got Alabama-Georgia out of our systems, it’s time to turn our attention to another level of football: the English Premier League, where first-place Manchester City is undefeated after 22 games (20-0-2). The Sky Blues have a chance to become only the second EPL club to go undefeated through a 38-match season, as Arsenal did so in 2003-04.
The difference is that the Gunners finished 26-0-12, so nearly half their matches ended in draws. Man City is on pace to finish with quite a few more wins (three points) and fewer draws (one point), but there’s still a long way to go.
The Sky Blues have been dominant: they have the league’s top three assist men and its third- and fourth-leading scorers, none of whom overlap.
5. Collusion vs. Illusion
Remember a few weeks back when we noted that in Donald Trump’s impromptu interview with a NYT reporter he used the term “no collusion” 16 times in a span of about 10 minutes? Yesterday he answered ONE question in a White House presser and used the same term seven times.
On Monday Viking tight end Kyle Rudolph paid for 250 pounds of ribs to be brought in to feed teammates and staffers at the team’s Edina complex. He also included a note of thanks to all the equipment staff and trainers. Total Domer.
****
Lights Out at the Tech Show
Black Lights Matter
Your first blast of non-Trump irony in 2018, as a blackout hits the massive Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.
Music 101
Superstar
The song had already been a hit for a few artists before siblings Karen and Richard Carpenter, a.k.a. The Carpenters, recorded their cover that shot to No. 2 in late summer of 1971 (Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May” kept it out of the top perch; those were the days, kids). Richard actually heard Bette Midler sing it on a late-night talk show and thought he and his sis could do it up even better. He was right.
Remote Patrol
Bringing Up Baby
6 p.m. TCM
Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn starred together in three comedies between 1938 and 1949—Holiday, The Philadelphia Story, and this, the screwballiest of them all. An heiress, a stolen dinosaur bone, and a house-trained leopard all figure into the plot.
Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer, Gooooooo!!!!!
College football season is over, so our attention turns to the Olympics, where the biggest star in Pyeongchang—the Olympics are being held in South Korea—will be American skier Mikaela Shiffrin.
Why? She’s an amazing talent, she’s American and she has a million-dollar smile. On Tuesday in Austria she won her fifth consecutive World Cup race in a slalom, becoming the first skier to do so in 20 years. It was her eighth win in nine races. Shiffrin, 22 year-old from Vail, Colo., already has 41 World Cup Alpine race wins. Lindsey Vonn, the all-time female record holder in World Cup wins, had seven wins at her age.
The Europeans, they already know who Shiffrin is. We’re about to learn.
2. Spicy Tua Roll
Looking back at one of the most exciting national championship games in memory, a few thoughts:
A) The above play , Tua Tagovailoa’s 3rd-and-7 escape in which three Georgia defenders whiffed on the sack, was THE PLAY of the game. The Tide trailed 13-0 at the time and were badly in need of hope. A few plays after Tua got the first down he threw a touchdown and assured that Jalen Hurts was never coming back into this contest.
B) The final play was a brilliant look-off of safety Dominick Sanders by Tua, but he’s nowhere near as much to blame as corner Malkom Parrish (or the defensive coordinator who rolled the Dawgs into Cover 2 on a 2nd-and-26). As I tweeted out late last night, Bama lined up in trips right. Parrish was the weak side safety. His mandate is simple: “Deeper than the deepest” as he knows the coverage is going to shade toward the opposite side of the field. Perhaps Parrish assumed they wouldn’t go for the home run ball; whatever, he was far too lax in letting DaVonta Smith to get behind him. There’s no shame in getting beat, but when you’re beat by 5 yards on that play in overtime, your head was somewhere else.
C) Jalen Hurts? Pure class. Don’t be surprised if he transfers (as Georgia’s Jacob Eason will), but he was the first one to congratulate Tua on the first TD pass, his head was always in the game and he handled every postgame interview putting team first and propping up his teammate. Only hope the best for him.
D) Alabama was favored by 3.5. Alabama trailed by 13 when the fourth quarter began but won by 3. The sharps know what they’re doing.
3. The Warren Retort
The Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett, appeared on CNBC this morning with the one reporter he’ll allow to interview him, Becky Quick (she flew to Nebraska). Asked about the hottest term in the stock market the past three months, the 87 year-old, self-made megabillionaire said, “In terms of cryptocurrencies, generally, I can say with almost certainty that they will come to a bad ending. When it happens or how or anything else, I don’t know.”
Buffett is 87. His partner at Berkshire Hathaway, Charlie Munger, is 94. Is he right? Last night on CNBC’s Fast Money, Tom Lee, an analyst at least 30 years Buffett’s junior, predicted that Bitcoin will at least double in value this year. Lee was correct about Bitcoin all last year. We’ll see.
Anecdotally, you’ll find that millennials and college-aged ones are very into crypto. And they’re the ones coming of age. To this investor/gambler, the biggest danger to crypto will be governments attempting to strangle it out of existence due to pressure from lobbyists backed by big, big, BIG banks.
4. Luke, I Am Your Father!
Here’s why I love Indianapolis Star sports columnist Gregg Doyel: a few years ago he was on the Hot Take Express, a talented and opinionated columnist at CBSSports.com who seemed destined to be starring in one of ESPN’s or FS1’s plethora of incarnations of Pardon The Bloviation.
Instead, for reasons unbeknownst to me, Doyel moved from his home of Cincinnati up to Indy and became a LOCAL sports columnist. He decided that there were stories to be told on a state or municipal level if one just SEARCHED for them. That it was better to find and report stories than to make half-assed and unaccountable guesses as to what would happen next (even if it didn’t get him as many clicks).
Hoover, 83, played at Purdue in the Fifties
So here’s his latest masterpiece, on a freshman hoops phenom, Luke Brown, in a small Indiana town, Hartford City, who is fourth in the state in scoring (he just put up 48). An 83 year-old first-year coach, Jerry Hoover. And a team that, before Brown and Hoover arrived, had lost 78 of 79 games but is now 8-1. It’s basically a John Mellencamp song meeting an Angelo Pizzo film.
You want to teach sports journalism at a local college? The first person your students should learn about is Gregg Doyel.
5. California Stormin’
If you’re saying to yourself, Wait, isn’t Santa Barbara County still burning, that’s so last week/month/year. The latest apocalyptic plague to hit the area is winter storms, and they have proven more deadly. In Montecito, just east of the city of Santa Barbara (both coastal towns face due south), heavy rains triggered flooding that triggered mudslides. At least 15 are dead. Woulda been nice if these rains had come about three weeks earlier, and yes, the fires probably had a lot to do with the earth being so much more susceptible to mud slides as so much vegetation was lost. I’m not a meteorologist or botanist, I just play one in the blogosphere.
Reserves
Chucky’s Back
Now if only we can get them to remain in Oakland. Oh, and no kidding, here’s his son, Deuce, the team’s new strength coach….
Meanwhile, has Darren Rovell been training with Deuce?
This is the ideal male body, you may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like pic.twitter.com/IpWgt0aRlm
It was a crowded field of bad-ass ladies as the Eighties began, what with Chrissy Hynde and Deborah Harry strutting about, but Pat Benatar, a classically trained singer from Brooklyn (and later, Long Island), held her own. This song was the first single off her band’s 1981 album Crimes of Passion, but you should know it is a cover of The Young Rascals’ tune from 1966 that went to No. 20.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2RxlWaWHAI
Remote Patrol
The Crown
“Paterfamilias” Netflix
If you haven’t been working through Season 2 of this fantastically written and lavishly filmed show, let Season 2’s ninth episode be your inducement. Prince Phllip insists that his eldest son, Charles, not attend a Foppish British secondary school such as Eton College and instead matriculate at a smaller, more spartan Scottish school, which happens to be his alma mater. Through flashbacks we learn how this school shaped his childhood and the devastating, and I mean truly devastating, events that led to his maturation. Part Lord of the Flies, part An Officer and a Gentleman, and better than any Golden Globes-nominaed film I’ve seen.
*The judges will also accept “When They Go Lie, We Go ‘O’
An Oration followed by an Ovation at the Golden Globes last night. Oprah Winfrey received the Cecil B. DeMille Award (“What a tremendous honor for Cecil B. DeMille,” crowed host Seth Meyers) and she did not disappoint in her acceptance speech. In what might be construed not just as a Hollywood call to arms for women but also as an early 2020 presidential campaign speech, Miss O declared, “Their time is up. Their time is up! Their time is up!”
Two minor quibbles: 1) It’s “speaking THE truth,” not “speaking your truth.” Your truth is also known as opinion, and 2) What’s the deal with her, Steadman Graham and Gayle King?
2. Ladies’ Night
Saoirse Ronan won Best Actress
Oprah. Big award hauls for Lady Bird, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri(about the rape and murder of a teenage girl), The Handmaid’s Tale, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Big Little Lies all took home multiple awards.
If Hollywood isn’t contrite, the Hollywood Foreign Press is.
As for our host, Seth Meyers hit a home run. “Good evening, ladies and remaining gentlemen” Meyers began, then said what at least we were thinking by adding, “A special hello to all the host of upcoming awards shows who are watching me tonight like the first dog they shot into outer space.” Then he went directly to, “For the male nominees in the audience, tonight will be the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.”
Other great monologue moments included The Post gag, kicking Kevin Spacey to the curb (“You lost me at ‘of age'”), and the punch line banter with Amy Poehler.
3. Missing
UPDATE: She’s been found, alive and well. No details yet.
A 29 year-old Houston-based reporter for Rivals.com, Courtney Roland, has now been missing since Saturday evening. Roland last texted her roommate that she believed she was being followed by a suspicious man. Police located her white Jeep Cherokee at the Galleria (a mega-mall) along with her computer and credit cards, but Roland is nowhere to be found.
Roland covers Texas A&M and attended an Aggie elite high school football camp in the Houston area on Saturday. Around 4 p.m. she texted her roomie that a strange man was following her around Walgreens and that he followed her home, then drove away when she arrived at her house. She was supposed to meet up with the roommate but never showed.
This quote/plea from Roland’s father is eerie:
“If somebody has her, we just want to tell them we love you too. And I know Courtney would be praying for you, because that’s the way she was. She cared for other people.”
4. Cam-cussion
When Carolina Panther quarterback Cam Newton is watching The Gorilla Channel every waking hour in 10 to 20 years, let’s remember the night he clearly suffered a concussion on a devastating hit, fell to his knees as he went to the sideline, and then returned after missing only one series. Let’s also remember how Fox announcers Joe Buck and Troy Aikman (no stranger to QB concussions and thus far, one of the lucky ones) barely even mentioned how reckless this was.
On Friday the NFL announced it was earmarking $16 million-plus toward concussion research. On Sunday night it demonstrated that it was like putting $16 million of blush over a black eye just to hide the fact that your husband is beating you.
5. Conference Play Reveals What’s Real
No. 1 Michigan State lost at Ohio State by 16. No. 2 Duke is in eighth place in the ACC after losing for the second Saturday in a row to an unranked conference foe. No. 4 Arizona State is now in ninth place in the Pac-12 after losing two in a row. Big East rivals Xavier and Villanova could be 1-2 when they meet Wednesday in Philly, even though neither of them are in first place in the Big East: Seton Hall is.
Meanwhile, the Fighting Irish, minus their two All-American candidates, Bonzie Colson and Matt Farrell, won at Syracuse for the first time since 2007. Mike Brey is a very stable genius.
What’s it all mean? There are far too many schools in Division I, and the idea before conference play is to feast on numerous cupcakes and try to be no worse than 12-1 or so when conference play begins. Rankings in CBK are meaningless anyway, but especially so before MLK Day. RPI is what matters.
Music 101
Whip It
Were they from another galaxy? Another century? Turns out Devo hailed from…Ohio. This was the five-man band’s 1980 breakout hit (went to No. 14) that scared parents and even a few teens. Who are these guys? Note relative to the item below: a few of the band members attended Kent State at the same time as Nick Saban.
Remote Patrol
Alabama vs. Georgia
8 p.m. ESPN
The other SEC Championship Game is also the national championship game. This is the same venue where Alabama began its season, versus then No. 3 Florida State. Now the Tide is taking on CFB Playoff No. 3 Georgia. Roll, Tide.
*The judges note this could also be the headline for No. 3….
The Northeast got hit with a major bomb cyclone yesterday, and it was glorious!!!! Schools were closed and people left work early to hit the saloons in the late afternoon and experience the two greatest words in city winter living: SNOW BEERS!
Some serious hunkering down went on. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
2. When They Get High, We Go Low*
*The judges will also accept “Pot Sticklers”
Attorney general Jeff Sessions, who as a diehard conservative is all about states’ rights, suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to rescind states’ right in terms of marijuana legalization. Because why? Meanwhile, home-brewers of beer continue to make their raspberry-flavored pilsners with no interference from the government.
3. Call Us When They Devise A Way To Make It Glow In The Dark
In his farewell address in Chicago last January, outgoing (in every sense of the word) president Barack Obama spoke in his typical even-keeled manner for more than 20 minutes, but I did hear that one little dog-whistle statement that he dropped in near the end of the speech (I do believe we took note of it at the time, too). It was so subtle, so artfully crafted, that you might have missed it, so allow me to reprint those nine little words here:
“Reality has a way of catching up with you”
And so now we have Michael Wolff’s book, Fire and Fury, which has made the patron saint of firing people furious. Yesterday the White House sent a cease-and-desist publishing letter to Wolff’s publishers, who responded by moving up the release date from January 9th to today. This is what you can still do when you live in a democratic republic (which we technically still have) and not an authoritarian dictatorship, which our current POTUS would prefer.
Enjoy the shame, Donald. You’ve more than earned it.
Went down a little Benjamin Orr rabbit hole the other night when I realized that, despite the fact that most people identify Ric Ocasek with The Cars, it is Orr who sang lead vocals on just about every one of my favorite tunes of theirs: “Let’s Go,” “Bye Bye Love,” “All Mixed Up,” “Just What I Needed,” and this song, an underrated classic from Candy-O (1979) with some beautiful lovesick lyrics:
One too many times I fell over you Once in a shadow I finally grew And once in a night I dreamed you were there I cancelled my flight from going nowhere
Onstage, Orr, who died of pancreatic cancer at age 53 in 2000, looked like the consummate rock star. He may be the best-looking lead singer that ever lived (he looked like a Disney prince). But he never played the David Lee Roth/Freddie Mercuy type, he just sang the songs and played his bass and kept a low profile. When The Cars are inducted into the Rock and Roll HOF next year, let’s all raise a glass to him.
Remote Patrol
Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee
Netflix
The greatest mobile talk show in web history moves to Netflix (that Jerry Seinfeld is smart as a fox, small “f”, isn’t he?). Favorite episodes we’d point you to: Howard Stern, Tina Fey, Barack Obama, Larry David.
BREAKING: Attorney general Jeff Sessions moves to eliminate marijuana safeguards for states where it is legal: “When they get high, we go low.”
Starting Five
Michael Wolff, who launched the most potent attack yet on the Trump presidency….
Wolff: Blitzer*
*The judges will also accept “You’re Fired and Fury’ed”
A journalistic bomb cyclone dropped on The Worst Wing yesterday as excerpts from reporter Michael Wolff’s forthcoming book (January 9th; see cover below) were published in New York magazine. You should read it for yourself (hyperlink above), but the overwhelming sense is that this was also a confederacy of liars, fools and grifters and that yes, the recriminations of folks such as your truly were always justified.
Moreover, since the report appeared yesterday, you’ve not heard a peep from one of its primary sources, Steve Bannon. The silence speaks volumes, as if to say what you are reading is true. The only defense of Team Trump is to deny it all, the way Roy Moore denied it all, the way Trump previously denied the sexual harassment claims of 19 women.
Part of the beauty of all this is that somehow Wolff got Worst Wing access that no one else in the print media was able to obtain, plopped himself on a couch there daily, and just absorbed the infighting and backstabbing and the president and his team were either so incompetent or disorganized or vainglorious that no one took notice or at least appreciated the damage that he had the potential to wreak. They do now.
Meanwhile, this was not in the magazine excerpt but pulled from the galleys. Wow.
Meanwhile, I imagine President Trump will be handing a special trophy to Mr. Wolff at Monday’s first annual Fake News Awards, which will be must-see TV.
2. Sager Saga
This is not a story arc from Dallas or Falcon Crest, but real life involving a recently deceased former sideline reporter. It appears peacock-festooned blazer wearer Craig Sager was a little parsimonious with the fortune, leaving it all to his second wife, the former Luv-a-Bull cheerleader, Stacy Strebel, whom he met and began dating while he was still married to his first wife.
And now all the dirty laundry is airing. What would Coach Pop say? Here’s his adult daughter from his first marriage, Kacy Sager, shedding light on the drama.
Alright, declined an interview w/ @TMZLive but told them I’d give them an official statement. Not sure where that will end up, so I’m posting it here.
Please read this before making any judgments. Or don’t, and accept your fate as an uninformed a-hole. Up to you. pic.twitter.com/WnH48NxdzE
The most prolific ‘baller in college hoops this season? Based on class, it may not be Trae Young of Oklahoma (who leads Division I men in both scoring, 29.6 per game, and assists, 10.7) but Kelly Williams of Division III Randolph-Macon. Like Young, Williams is a freshman but is taller at 6’3″. Through 11 games the North Carolina native leads D-3 in scoring (25.2) AND in rebounding, averaging a remarkable 19.5 boards per game. Perhaps she should be playing Division I?
In a defeat last night, Williams put up 38 points and 18 rebounds. The previous game she went for 22 and 22 for the Yellow Jackets.
Howard is 5’11” so his 52 (5, 1+1) is fitting
Unrelated, but Marquette’s Markus Howard put up 52 in an overtime win at Providence. Even more impressive, perhaps Grambling State’s Shakyla Hill recorded the first quadruple-double in women’s D-I college hoops in 25 years—15 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists and 10 steals—in a 93-71 win over Alabama State. The 10th assist came on a three-pointer in the closing seconds.
4. The Ripple Effect
There’s always something new, and there’s (almost) always a bull market somewhere. Two months ago I was pleading with you to look into Bitcoin Investment Trust (GBTC) and with good reason: it’s up nearly 300% since then. However, as I was doing that the sharper millennials, many of them who work at Wall Street firms, were putting money into Ripple (XRP), which at the time was a penny stock.
Ripple is a cryptocurrency that is put out by a San Francisco-based company and is recognized and used by major banks such as Santander and Bank of America. You could have purchased a share of Ripple on Friday, November 3 for 20 cents. Today that share of Ripple sells for $3.60. That’s an 18 times markup in two months. Had you put down $10,000 on Ripple just after Halloween it would already be worth $180,000 (I did not).
The main problem with Ripple, outside of your ingrained fears about cryptocurrency, is that you just can’t purchase XRP via Schwab or E-Trade. First you have to register with a digital exchange such as Coinbase, then once there buy actual bitcoin, then once having done that use another digital exchange to swap it for Ripple.
And from personal experience, I found that it takes a few days after making a Bitcoin purchase for it to be processed. As many as five business days, during which time the price of Ripple may double (as I’ve watched with frustration this week). Buying Ripple is convoluted and inconvenient, but if you believe this bubble has a ways to go before bursting, it may be worth the exploration.
5. Get Out Sins
If you enjoyed Get Out as much as we did—it’ll probably win a Golden Globe for Best Picture, Musical or Comedy come Sunday night, then you may like this video showing all the technical or logical sins the Jordan Peele’s breakout hit made.
Reserves
Bomb Cyclone: Trust The Process
LIVE NOW: Can you see Manhattan? White-out conditions overtake the Brooklyn Bridge as major winter storm moves in.
Tip from a server (me) after having watched a dude step up to a cafe bar yesterday and ask the bartender to plug in his phone behind the bar, then constantly admonish him to keep an eye on it to make sure it’s charging while ordering a total of one cappuccino over half an hour: PLEASE DON’T DO THIS.
I’m recommending this not because it’s an impossible task for restaurant workers, but because it makes you look like a spoiled child. If a restaurant/diner/bar/Starbucks has an outlet that is within reach, go ahead and plug in your device yourself. Be aware that it is nobody’s job at the restaurant to worry about the power available in your device or whether or not that device is in peril of being snatched. If there is no outlet within reach, don’t bother anyone at the restaurant. They’ve got a job to do and providing good service only extends to your dining experience: would you like us to address your envelopes and maybe pick up some dry cleaning, too?
Most of you travel by car: your vehicle should have a charger, no? We all get into those moments where we need battery power and God help us if our phone isn’t available for half an hour, but if you are really in a bind, find an outlet yourself. Thanks.
***
Was there ever an SNL “Jeopardy” moment that was even this funny?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiLpMoUPkHA
****
We finished and we can’t stress enough how delightful and smart and charming and insightful this novel is. Author Amor Towles creates a wonderful tale of adaptation, sort of The Shawshank Redemption in a luxury hotel with a touch of Casablancathrown in. Here’s just one bon mot we circled to remember (this may just inspire us to join a book club, but probably not for the long term):
“Showing a sense of personal restraint that was almost out of character, the Count had restricted himself to two succinct pieces of paternal advice: The first was that if one did not master one’s circumstances, one was bound to be mastered by them; and the second was Montaigne’s maxim that the surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness.”
Don’t worry about who Montaigne is. Think instead of the best people that you know. They likely conform to these two traits (then think of the man occupying the White House). It’s an estimable way to be, and perhaps a goal for all of us in 2018.
Music 101
Use Somebody
In early 2009 Kings Of Leon owned rock and roll and for good reason. This song would earn a Grammy for Record of the Year and Best Rock Performance for the Nashville-based Followill family (three brothers and a cousin). Lead singer Caleb Followill’s haunting voice never sounded better.
Remote Patrol
Warriors at Rockets
8 p.m. TNT
U.S. Speed Skating Trials
6:30 p.m. NBC Spots Net
U.S. Figure Skating Championships
8:30 p.m. NBC Sports Net
How better to survive a bomb cyclone than with an avalanche of sports television? This is likely a preview of the Western Conference finals between the 30-8 Dubs and the 27-9 Rockets. The Warriors are on the second night of a Texas two-step, having beaten the Mavs on a Stephen Curry three at the buzzer last night.
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