by John Walters

A Medium Happy 35th to Rory Gilmore herself, Alexis Bledel. She’s STILL not going to ride your motorcycle, Dean. See you for Friday Night Dinner!

Today is also the 52nd birthday of Molly Shannon. She’s 52! And she likes to kick,  stretch, aaaaand kick!

Starting Five

If there is a mightier Yankee Killer than Big Papi, he was before my time

David Is Goliath

The Yanks led comfortably, 5-1, heading into the bottom of the 8th at Fenway Park last night. Masahiro Tanaka had pitched seven brilliant innings, allowing just one run and escaping David Ortiz and the bases loaded earlier in the game by inducing a relatively harmless sacrifice fly (Boston’s lone run).

Tanaka, the A.L. ERA leader (2.97), pitched a gem and it was all for naught.

The Bombers were about to be 10 games over .500 , which would keep them two games out of a wildcard spot. Then Ortiz, facing a Yankee reliever, hit a solo shot in the eighth. In the ninth, with two outs, he singled to keep a drive alive. Hanley Ramirez hit the game-winning three-run walk-off home run to dead center field, but make no mistake: Big Papi smote the Yankees.

New York is now looking up at three teams (Toronto/Baltimore, who are tied, Detroit and Seattle) for the second wild card spot. I’m emoting. Bear with me. Thanks.

2. 30 Rock of Ages

Fallon, and his staff, are very smart. They knew this moment would go viral. It also helped cover up the toe-sucking interview that had preceded it.

Was this coordinated? Jimmy Fallon’s guest last night was Donald Trump, while Seth Meyers’s was Bernie Sanders. Fallon did a great job of holding Trump’s feet to the pillow, and I had to agree with this tweep afterward.

Jimmy Fallon does a lot of great impressions but his Sean Hannity tonight was one of his best.

— stuart stevens (@stuartpstevens) September 16, 2016

Meyers, far more politically astute than Fallon (here’s something I wrote about Jimmy more than a year ago), got Bernie to mince not a word, on the other hand:

Bernie Sanders: “(Donald Trump) has made bigotry the cornerstone of his campaign.”

— Medium Happy (@jdubs88) September 16, 2016

3. Where Everybody Knows Your Name Watering Down Drinks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iRM1iN-3a4

A couple of friends had both told me to give Louis C.K.‘s latest series, Horace and Pete, a try. It’s basically a very, very dark, nearly obsidian, Cheers. Louis C.K. and Steve Buscemi play cousins (?) in the title roles who run a bar. Co-stars include Alan Alda (who only improves with age), Jessica Lange and Edie Falco (that cast is a credit to Louis C.K.’s writing and just his overall personality).

It’s fantastic. I’ve only seen the premiere episode, but it’s like a Walter Miller play (judging from the two I read in high school). I’ve embedded a clip from that first episode that includes none of the cast members I’ve mentioned but is still worth watching.

4. Back to the Salt Mines

This will be Kansas in 40 years

Amidst news that the Ice Age is ending (“America First!”, even if it is under water), here’s a story on the hottest place on earth. And we don’t mean trendy. It’s Ethiopia. Pack light.

5. College Football Explodes

TOO. MANY. SICK. GAMES!!!!!

USC LB Cameron Smith—I refer to him as Cameron JuJu-Smith—is a manster

Noon (ABC): No. 2 Florida State at No. 10 Louisville. Seminoles, without Derwin James, either stand up for status quo or Lamar Jackson is your Heisman front-runner

Noon (ESPN2): North Dakota State at No. 13 Iowa. The Bison have won FIVE consecutive FCS national championships. What were the Hawkeyes thinking?

Noon (ESPN): No. 25 Miami at Appalachian State: Gonna be fun watching App. State take down another UM (that Notre Dame fans can’t stand) in Boone, N.C.

J.T. Barrett, this is your close-up

3:30 (CBS): No. 1 Alabama at No. 19 Ole Miss: Can the Rebels really beat Nick Saban and Alabama three years in a row (No)?

3:30 (BTN): Colorado at No. 4 Michigan. Can Michael Westbrook suit up?

3:30 (ABC): No. 22 Oregon at Nebraska. Mike Riley has a little history with the Ducks.

7:30 (NBC): No. 12 Michigan State at No. 18 Notre Dame. Irish are 0-7 in last seven games versus Top 12 teams, but are these Spartans a Top 12 team? Time for DeShone Kizer to win a big game against a good team (he did this at Stanford last November, but then his defense let him down).

Equanimeous St. Brown. I’ll keep posting this pic until you ceased to be amazed by it.

7:30 (FOX): No. 3 Ohio State at No. 14 Oklahoma. The game of the day. Props to both schools for scheduling it.

8:00 (ABC): USC at No. 7 Stanford. Will USC show up for a top opponent? Trojans have lost 3 of 4 to Top 12 opponents, and all by at least 18 points (the win? Do you remember Troy beat No. 3 Utah in Coliseum last October?). Christian McCaffrey versus USC LB Cameron Smith a matchup of future first-round (top 10?) picks.

10:30 (ESPN): No. 11 Texas at Cal. Are the Horns for real? They beat UTEP 41-7 after the emotional ND win.

Music 101

Dark Horse

I’m guessing you’ve already seen this video, since it has gotten five BILLION WITH A “B” views on YouTube. That Katy Perry knows how to find a song with a good hook, does she not? The song hit No. 1 in 2014 and was the best-selling song of the year, and the best-selling song that included the lyrics, “She’ll eat your heart like Jeffrey Dahmer.” Yes, you must have a hip-hop interlude in any pop song nowadays (I know: I sound old; guess what? I AM old) and the artist here is Juicy J. (Did I get that right, kids?).

Remote Patrol

Emmy Awards

Sunday 

ABC 8 p.m.

Those upstarts from Pied Piper are also TV’s best ensemble at the moment

Hosted by Jimmy Kimmel.  I don’t have a fireplace, but I’ve already got the pokers hot and ready to stick in my eyes for when Modern Family wins yet another award it doesn’t deserve. My picks (Who I want to, not who I think will, win): Drama, Game of Thrones; Comedy: Silicon Valley (though Veep is right there with it and will likely win).

A Medium Happy 65th to Pete Carroll…

Starting Five

As a Matter of Fat

I guess this is the week where the candidates and media talk about their relative healths to distract us, while Donald Trump surrogates sincerely argue that gesticulating wildly while speaking is adequate exercise in between taco bowls and buckets of KFC. Both Hillary Clinton (68) and Trump (70) are overweight and have never appeared, at least since entering public life, to care all that much about exercise (golf is only exercise if you don’t use a cart).

At least Carter (39, for his presidential number) could finish a 5K (if not this time)

Trump would be the oldest president to take office, Hillary the third-oldest (in between the two of them? St. Reagan, whom we all know played football at Notre Dame before succumbing to a fatal bout of…pneumonia!). Looking for a physically fit president? Try Barack Obama. Or George W. Bush (or his dad). Or even Reagan. Jimmy Carter ran 5Ks, even though that wasn’t always the wisest idea. Gerald Ford played football at Michigan. They were ALL fitter than either of these two.

We feel you, Little Miss Flint. We feel you.

Here’s Charles Pierce with a terrific read on how even if Trump does not win, he’s “paved the way for the next American tyrant.” Yup. White nationalists/supremacists who “want their country back” are basically insecure little children who are afraid to confront their own inferiority, so they just blame it on people who don’t look or worship like them. You know who that sounds a lot like? ISIS.

2. Gubrud Or Go Home

Gubrud has already beaten Wazzu in Pullman and took five-time defending national champ North Dakota State to overtime in Fargo

So SI.com/MMQB has a story up this a.m. about “the next Carson Wentz,” a 6’7″ QB from the University of Montana named Brady Gustafson. Right collegiate level (FCS), right area of the country, but maybe the wrong dude.

Meet Gage Gubrud of Eastern Washington. A sophomore in his first season as a starter, Gubrud leads all FCS (and FBS) passers with 924 yards (462 per game) in two games. He has completed 75% of his passes (60 of 80) and thrown 9 TDs.

What’s most impressive is that Gubrud, a McMinnville, Ore., native, has yet to play a home game. He led the Eagles to a win at FBS/Power 5 conference member Washington State in the season opener and then took the five-time defending national champion North Dakota State Bison to overtime last Saturday on their turf. Keep an eye on him. And how long until he’s taking snaps for the Ducks?

3. Monmouth County’s Finest

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!!!!

The man, the legend, the icon, the American poet, Bruce Springsteen, turns 67 one week from Friday. If you’re a sports blogger throwing snark his way, you’re just showing off your own ignorance. Keep doing it. Here’s a tremendous piece on Freehold’s finest (now residing in Rumson but hitting the gym in Tinton Falls), who is actually embarking on a BOOK tour later this month (I’m picturing four-hour signings) before heading back out with the band to Australia and New Zealand for the winter (Bruce is nobody’s fool).

4. Getting Back To Even

If San Fran makes the postseason, it still has a 1-2 punch of sub-3.00 ERA hurlers in Johnny Cueto and Madison Bumgarner

San Francisco entered the All-Star break with a 57-33 record, 24 games over .500 and with a healthy lead in the National League West. The Giants are now 77-68, giving them a 20-35 record in the second half of the season.

As you are likely aware, the capricious Bay Area ball club has a thing about even-numbered years. In 2010, 2012 and 2014 the Giants won the World Series, despite never having the National League’s best record in any of those seasons. In 2011, 2013 and 2015, Bruce Bochy’s ball club failed to advance to the postseason.

Brandon has belted 15 HRs this season, a team-high

This is 2016 (I thought that was information worth sharing). If the season ended today, the Giants would earn a wildcard spot, but the Mets and Cards are both within a game of them, so one of those three will be left out. The Dodgers are five games ahead of them. In other words, it sounds like another magical October at AT&T Park.

Curious stat: SF’s leading home run hitter, Brandon Belt, only has 15 all year. Remember when the Giants had a dude who hit 73 in one season?

5. Grate Expectations

Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell.

This moment, from the comedy The Seven-Year Itch, was shot 62 years ago today at the corner of Lexington and East 52nd Street. Willem Dafoe was nowhere near at the time.

Music 101

Out In The Street

“Whoa-Oh! Whoa-Oh! Whoa-OH-Ohhh-Ohhhhhhh-O!” This was considered a good song off The River when it was released in 1980, but it has since become Bruce’s most anticipated song in concert. If you think of a Springsteen show as a Catholic mass, this is the Prayer of the Faithful. You can see that in this 1980 version in Tempe, Arizona, Bruce has yet to incorporate the call backs to the fans that have turned this song into the religious experience that it is. About that 1980 show at Arizona State University: I had a backstage pass courtesy of my sister, a student and usher at the time, but a higher power in our family put the kibosh on it because it was a school night (No, I’m not bitter; not at all!)

Remote Patrol

The Blair Witch Project

SyFy 9 p.m. 

Few, if any, horror films ever did a better job of subscribing to the credo “Less is more.” I saw this film in the afternoon in the summer of ’99 (with a few SI friends) and was still freaked out that night. I honestly don’t think I slept. I later interviewed the cast member who went on the Cal Ripken, Jr., rant for SI and he told me that was completely improvised. He was a big Orioles fan.

Bizarre trivia note: After seeing this film at the Angelika (I think), we walked over to the JFK, Jr., shrine outside his apartment. He had died a few days earlier and people were still assembling outside. Crazy times.

by John Walters

“I said, ‘You’re legal!’ A Medium Happy 21st to Deshaun Watson

Starting Five

The Bad News Bears were mostly white and blond. They had twice as many token Latinos (2) as token blacks (1). They even took a girl over a second African-American and hired a drunk to manage the team over more worthy minority candidates.

Well, The Bases Are White

Yesterday, Howard Bryant of ESPN.com, whom I don’t know, wrote an essay prompted by Oriole All-Star Adam Jones’s declaration that “Baseball is a white man’s game, by design.” You can read it here. I may be misinterpreting it, but Bryant appears to be saying that you won’t see a protest such as Colin Kaepernick’s in baseball because it is a “white man’s game.”

Maybe you won’t be seeing one like that because while the NFL is 68% African-American (more than five times the national average) and while the NBA is 74% African-American (more than six times the national average), MLB is 8% African-American (only two-thirds the national average). Baseball just isn’t all that black, and so the issue that Kaepernick is raising isn’t as relevant to the 92% of MLB who are not black. And if you say, Well, it should be relevant to all of them, well, everyone has their own problems. Why isn’t someone in the NFL taking a knee during the anthem about hazing? Or sexual assault? Or Super-PACs?

Epstein: This clown and his Yale degree are totally overmatched in MLB. On the bright side, it’s good to know that baseball isn’t anti-Semitic, right?

Bryant also writes, “The game has cultivated the front-office posture of a Fortune 500 company, placing another barrier to advancement for people of color by preferring young, often unproven Ivy League talent over people of color who have deep institutional knowledge of how baseball works and is played…” So, is he throwing shade at Theo Epstein here? Because what has the dude with the Yale degree ever done to demonstrate that he belongs in a GM’s seat? Baseball employs plenty of Latino and yes, black, instructors at the level of play.

A lot of what takes place at the GM level is about advanced mathematics and statistics. I’m not saying a person of color cannot do those jobs, but I am saying that it doesn’t hurt to have an MBA or to be scholarly while dealing with the daily stresses of contracts, waiver wires, juggling players on disabled lists, etc. It takes more than just keen intelligence; it takes familiarity with contracts, big business, leverage, etc. Fortune 500 companies also go after Ivy League alums for the same reason.

At the front-office level, baseball isn’t about showing an 18 year-old how to properly execute a hook slide. (Note: Artie Moreno is baseball’s only minority owner. My friend nearly did an eight-figure non-baseball business deal with him once. Nearly. Moreno tried to low-ball him after the deal was agreed upon. Thought his leverage would pressure my friend to succumb. My friend told him to stick it. I don’t know that that makes my point or disputes it, but it’s just a piece of information I thought I’d share with you.)

Now, where Bryant’s story really, really loses me is where he writes, ” In a country full of world-class black athletes, baseball cannot seem to attract many.” That’s the fault of baseball? A few uncomfortable points that Howard chose not to raise: 1) In the childhoods of Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and Jackie Robinson, the NBA did not exist and the NFL wasn’t on television; black kids then did not aspire as much to play those sports then. They do now. 2) I’m more than willing to say that, on average, blacks are superior athletes to whites (look at those NBA and NFL percentages above), but the NBA and NFL reward raw athletic traits such as speed and power more than baseball does. Those traits don’t help you hit a curveball or throw one as much.

There’s a reason so many Dominicans and Cubans are in the MLB: because Dominican and Cuban kids play baseball day and night as soon as they’re out of the crib. It’s the same reason why China, India and the USA, the world’s three most populous nations, don’t have a prayer in a soccer match against Argentina, the world’s 32nd-largeest nation. It’s about culture.

Say Hey! Are you playing stickball?

Last night, while I was still seething over Howard’s PC misrepresentation of the truth, Dellin Betances got a save for the Yankees. Betances is a Dominican-American who was born and raised in Manhattan. And then T.J. Rivera, a Latino who was raised in the Bronx, hit the game-winning home run for the Mets. They’re both men of color. Both raised in the inner city.

Baseball isn’t keeping black kids out of the sport, and if it isn’t attracting many, that’s not baseball’s fault. Black kids, by and large, would rather play basketball. Or football. There’s a great photo of Willie Mays, early in his career, stopping in I believe Harlem to play a game of stickball on the street with some black youths. I doubt anyone in Harlem has played stickball in the past 20 years.

2. From Connie to Vin to Julio

Scully, 88, calls his last game in San Francisco on October 2, even though the Dodgers are headed to the postseason

Last night Michael Kay of the YES Network, who does a terrific job as the Yankee broadcaster (I’m only privy to NYY and NYM broadcasts, but the Yanks have a terrific booth team with rotating analysts Ken Singleton, Paul O’Neill, David Cone, John Flaherty and Al Leiter), shared this note during the Dodgers-Yankees game: Dodger broadcaster Vin Scully, who will call his final game on October 2nd, began with the Dodgers in 1950, when they were still in Brooklyn.

The dapper Connie Mack, born Cornelius McGillicuddy, managed the Philadelphia A’s from 1901 to 1950

That same year Connie Mack was managing the Philadelphia Athletics. Mack had been in baseball since 1886 and was born in 1862, before the Battle of Gettysburg.

Uriah took a no-decision last night in the Bronx after pitching four innings of shutout ball

And I’ll add that last night the Dodger starting pitcher was Julio Urias, who is only 19 and was born in Mexico. Let’s assume Urias has a long career and is still in the game in 2030 and lives to at least the age of 66, which would mean at least until 2062. That would mean Scully bridged the span of 200 years of baseball people, from birth to death (1862 to 2062) and 144 years of MLB careers (1886 to 2030). Pretty astounding stuff.

3. Run Away Train

It’s not hitting the wall, but it’s close

You train for a marathon; you don’t marathon for a train.

Last Sunday runners at the Vai Marathon in Lehigh Valley, Pa., found their 26.2-mile jaunt interrupted for up to 10 minutes by a slow-moving choo choo. They were, as you might expect, pissed. Adding to the frustration, Sunday was the final day for aspiring Boston Marathon entrants to run a qualifying time for next April’s iconic race in the Hub. More than a few entrants at the Vai were vying for a spot in Boston. How race officials will treat their times has yet to be decided.

4. Lunghazi

Last night Stephen Colbert noted, accurately, that perhaps Hillary Clinton should have disclosed that she had pneumonia. After all, the lung-based ailment did kill William Henry Harrison. And by the way, this is a bad look for you, CBS News.

On the other side of the race, Dr. Oz is going to have Donald Trump on as his guest today to talk his health records but Oz already said, and I quote, “I’m not going to ask him questions he doesn’t want to have answered.”

I mean, does this quack have any idea how ironic his name is?

5. FLOTUS, Steph and Ellen

I like these three humans. So here’s a good excerpt of their chat yesterday.

Music 101

Eden

Everyone has their favorite autumn albums or artists, no? My two favorite autumn albums are Our Time in Eden by 10,000 Maniacs and Enlightenment by Van Morrison (or just about anything from Van the Man, to be honest). But then again, there’s no better time to be in New York City than from mid-September through mid-October.

Remote Patrol

Orioles at Red Sox

7 p.m. ESPN

Porcello was 9-15 with a 4.92 ERA last year. He’s 20-3 with a 3.2 ERA this year.

Did you know that Red Sox starter Rick Porcello, who takes the hill tonight, is 20-3? Before this week, I didn’t. I agree with Tim Kurkjian, who believes that the Sox will take the A.L. pennant, but I think these are the two best teams in the American League. The good news for this Yankee fan is that the Baby Bombers will avoid seeing Porcello this weekend.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 100th birthday to Roald Dahl, one of the great rascals of 20th century literature (he died in 1990). Dahl, who stood nearly 6’6″, was the original BFG (he wrote the book that Spielberg produced this summer as an animated film).

James and the Giant Peach. The BFG. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Roahl Dahl wrote them all, while also writing the scripts for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a James Bond film (You Only Live Twice). Dahl was a humorist, a mischief-maker, a twisted soul (he wrote extensively for Playboy including one story in which the narrator morphs into a seven-foot penis), a prolific and idiosyncratic writer. A complete and utter original. A genius. Happy 100th!

p.s. If you’re looking for a Dahl book that is not written for kids, and you wanna get a sense of how twisted and darkly funny he could be, read My Uncle Oswald.

Starting Five

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JssKqYoy5p4

1. Kevin Harlan Saves Monday Night Football

Punt. Punt. Punt. Interception. Punt. Punt. Punt. Punt. Punt. Punt. Interception. Punt. Turn over on downs. Game over. Niners 28, Rams 0. The only thing that will and should be remembered from this contest is Kevin Harlan’s epic call on Westwood One Radio of a drunk idiot sprinting onto the field in the fourth quarter. The call itself belongs in the Smithsonian, or the National Archives, or the Museum of Broadcasting, or all of the above. No one on TV (besides Brent or Verne or perhaps Tess) has sounded like they are having that much fun calling a football game in years.

2. Ill-Defined Malady, M’Lady*

*The judges will also accept “Is Hillary Illary?” 

Maybe Aaron Sorkin foresaw all of this 15 or so years ago.

Leo: “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jed: “Because I wanted to be the president.”

Pneumonia? Dehydration? If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Hillary and Bill, it’s that we’re not always going to get the whole truth. But tell me you can’t see that above dialogue taking place between Tim Kaine or Jen Chisholm and Hillary. Of course you can. Although, as Bill Maher tweeted yesterday,

Pneumonia? I’d vote for Dead Hillary in this race. She could be Patient Zero for Bubonic Plague, still better than #TangerineNightmare

— Bill Maher (@billmaher) September 13, 2016

And I find it hard to disagree. All is forgiven, Mitt Romney. Come back! You, too, John McCain. Al Gore, come on down! Ross Perot, why not? (Sarah, stay up in Wasilla). This presidential election is beginning to feel like the Rams quarterback job hunt.

By the way, this is a TERRIFIC scene. Toby was such a royal pain in the ass, but he was usually right.

3. Dancing With the Star-Crossed

So there was Ryan Lochte on Dancing With The Stars, because you can’t be hosting pool parties in Las Vegas every day of your life. And then some protester rushes the stage to interrupt it, and it’s not as if Tom Bergeron is going to get n the middle of that scene, no sirree. Anyway, the real tragedy here is that Kevin Harlan was not on hand to commentate the moment.

And so the question becomes, Was all of this staged to garner some attention? Who knows?

4. Welcome Back, Chumley’s!

New York’s favorite old speakeasy, Chumley’s, is making a return later this month after a nearly decade-long hiatus. The West Village haunt, which never had a sign out front (go to the corner of Bedford and Barrow and look for a big wooden door that people are occasionally entering or exiting). It’s not going to be exactly the same spot that it was, but in the past few years, when so many iconic and favorite New York eateries have been closing down (Union Square Cafe, The Emerald Inn [moved, but no longer the same], CBGB, etc), it’s nice to see one return.

The apocryphal story is that Chumley’s is the speakeasy that gave us the term, “Eighty-Six it.” Not sure if that’s true or not, but it adds to the lore.

Personal note: My last time inside Chumley’s was on my birthday, on 9/10/01. I recall walking out well after midnight and staring up at the World Trade Center as our cab pulled onto 7th Avenue. The buildings would be gone in less than eight hours.

5. The Film Room with Chris Corbellini!

O Captain, My Captain!

Sully

***1/2

by Chris Corbellini

There’s just something so preposterous about challenging the right decision by a good man. On January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia and barely reached skyscraper altitude before a flock of birds turned that jet into a glider, forcing Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger to pull off the ballsiest move in aviation history by landing the aircraft on the Hudson River and saving all aboard.

And in Clint Eastwood’s latest film, SULLY, federal investigators had the nerve to second-guess him. You can almost hear Eastwood growling “Those f-ckers” in every frame.

The captain in question had over 40 years of flight time, first as a teenager over the farmlands of Denison, Texas, then at the Air Force Academy (where he learned to fly gliders) followed by military service (where he learned to land fighter jets with engine trouble), and finally, decades of experience as a commercial airline pilot. He had logged 20,000 hours in the air and was ideally suited to try such an unprecedented landing. And while the passengers didn’t know that at that time, as they cried and prayed and heard the flight attendants repeat crash instructions to chilling affect, they certainly know it today. The best landing is the one where everyone walks away. Or climbs onto a boat.

The movie could have been a step-by-step guide down to the water, from A to Z, showcasing the pilots and some passengers to root for. That story still would have gotten made. Real life heroism is easy to market. But Eastwood and his screenwriter tried for something more – showcasing the National Transportation Safety Board as they throw major shade the Captain’s way, second-guessing his every move and jeopardizing his career.  It’s an interesting structure – beginning with the happy ending all of us know, and then dumping all over how that happy ending came to be.

So give SULLY points for degree of difficulty (Ed. Note: Not unlike the pilot’s maneuver itself; coincidence?). Even from the trailers, when the NTSB plot is revealed and the credibility of a national treasure — played by Tom Hanks, another national treasure — is threatened, my first thought was “No way this angle will work.” It also makes real-life investigators the villains, whether deserved or not. But the movie does a commendable job in the first half establishing at least some doubt Sully made all the right moves. The computer simulations, over and over, prove the aircraft could have landed at LaGuardia, or at Teterboro Airport in New Jersey. The pilot himself, tortured by PTSD and nightmares, begins to wonder if his decision-making was sound, despite the protests of his confidants (His co-pilot: “Bullshit. They should put a ribbon on you and get you back in the air.”) Sully is the coolest customer in the room, sure, but he is also a flesh-and-blood, middle-aged man who just went through a deeply traumatic experience. The nation wants to hug him. But what if the country just as quickly turns on him? What happens to his family? What happens to his new business as a safety consultant?

The script shows the emergency landing from two perspectives – that of the pilots, and the passengers. The passenger portion establishes characters quickly – the bros who just make the flight to go golfing with their pop, an elderly mother and her doting daughter, etc. The one that really hooked me was the young woman who passed her baby to a stranger moments before impact. Unthinkable in any other scenario … but this man was kind to them before takeoff, and she decides he’s physically stronger so there’s a better chance he’ll be able to hold on.

Finally, in Act 3, we see it all from Sully’s view. By then, there’s no doubt what really happened. His decision to switch on auxiliary power, out of sequence according to the manual, bought them time, and the co-pilot (played with a touch of understandable nervousness by Aaron Eckhart) quickly and quietly followed along. They zipped past the George Washington Bridge practically at eye level. The flight crew, one of whom was injured, then directed almost all the folks safely onto the wings and rafts in front of a stunned New York City. And you know who was the last one off the aircraft, still shouting into the fuselage for anyone left behind.

Just like in CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, Hanks does his best work in the film after disaster has been averted. In a hospital room he finally lets his stoicism slip off his shoulders for a moment when the boss says the word “155,” and it might be his Oscar clip from the movie.

Hanks, of course, won back-to-back Oscars for PHILADELPHIA and FORREST GUMP, changing the trajectory of his career in Hollywood. Cameron Crowe even called him “The Pope of the Oscars,” and it fits. But he won the respect of casual moviegoers with SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. After RYAN, there was no leadership role he couldn’t play in the mind of the public, and for a generation of men, if Hanks were playing you in a movie, or someone that crouched in the trenches of life beside you … then you’ve done something special. So Eastwood has his Jimmy Stewart here, or his TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD-era Gregory Peck. The two movie icons found each other in the nick of time — the 60-ish leading man that an audience instinctively trusts to do the right thing, and an old-school director in his 80s who doesn’t see enough of that anymore (there’s a vague reference to the stock market crisis of that time).

Is SULLY perfectly constructed? It’s definitely well-made. The acting top to bottom isn’t showy, there’s a nice, crispy edit from a fighter jet from Sully’s past to a fighter jet perched on the Intrepid Museum, and a shot taken from over Hanks’ shoulders looking at the floating aircraft is movie magic. But it’s not a masterpiece.

 In Eastwood’s last two films, AMERICAN SNIPER and this one, the leading ladies are wasted as the token worried wives on the other end of the phone. Laura Linney, playing the captain’s wife, could have gone yard with this role – a woman watching her husband’s trying circumstances play out on national television.  The finish of SULLY ends with a joke to let us all exhale a bit, but it also feels like a warm ending when the director could have pushed for a great one. When Sully gives his final summation, crediting the flight crew, the first-responders and the passengers for helping them all get out of the Hudson alive, perhaps the director could have added quick cutaways of all those characters to punch those words home.  Or that single cutaway we know so well — all those people on the wings of that plane, barely and miraculously above water.

Still, during the final dip to black I was reminded of an Esquire Magazine essay published over 15 years ago about a bartender dispensing life wisdom. What has stayed with me all this time is a single line: “success is a point on a graph, where faith and purpose meet.” I believe it, and this movie’s real-life events reinforced that belief. Right pilot, right time. Ask the other 154 souls who landed on the river with him. No doubt Hanks and Eastwood were both inspired by that, maybe even incredulous about the fallout, and it produced some of their best work to date.

One last personal thingy: I was at the Super Bowl days after that fateful water landing, and Captain Sullenberger and his crew were ushered onto the field to be celebrated. The crowd absolutely lost it. You just know heroes when you see them.  The real-life Sully looked somewhat sheepish as he waved to the crowd.  You know the type – the one who insists he was just doing his job, and really means it.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 49th to Louis Szekely

Starting Five

It’s refreshing to see a pol stumble other than in the polls

Fall Street*

*The judges will also accept “Hillary Street Blues” and “Pnue-mania!” and “Barely Walking Pneumonia.”

Did the Hillary Clinton stumble as she left the 9/11 memorial service yesterday not remind you of a scene out of Weekend at Bernie’s? Weren’t you looking around for Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman?

From behind, it looked a little bit like this….

Is it pneumonia or is HRC hiding a more grave health issue? At the moment, the answer to that probably depends on whether or not you think you look good in a “Make America Great Again” hat.

Hillary Clinton is 68 years old. Donald Trump is 70. Bernie Sanders is 75. Michael Bloomberg is 75. Saint Reagan was 69 when he was elected an his age was a major issue. John McCain was 72 when he ran and that was an even bigger issue at the time.

In case you were wondering, average U.S. life expectancy is 78.4 years old.

2. Miss America Great Again!

Shields did not have the highest leap of an Arkansas student this weekend; Sandi Morris did.

Well, at least one female from Arkansas will hold the highest office in the land in 2017: Savvy Shields of Fayetteville was crowned Miss America in Atlantic City last night. Miss America is the pageant that Donald Trump does not own. Savvy Shields are also the top-selling brand of feminine hygiene protection in the Deep South. Or soon will be.

I did the leg work for you: four contestants listed their talent as tap dance, and three as baton twirling. Two were prepared to do “monologue,” which is sort of verbal tap dancing in a pageant, no?

Meanwhile, in Brussels, Sandi Morris, an Arkansas alum, became the first American woman (and only the second ever) to clear 5.0 meters outdoor in the pole vault. Morris won silver in Rio last month.

3.  Indians Defeat Cowboys!

Agony (foreground) and ecstasy. This is why we love college football

On an otherwise forgettable Saturday—sandwiched between two outstanding ones—in college football, the Chippewas of Central Michigan shocked the Cowboys of Oklahoma State on a Hail Mary-and-Lateral in Stillwater (after the Pokes mistakenly thought they could Colt McCoy the last play by tossing a high arcing pass out of bounds; anger and Big 12 two-game suspensions followed for the replay booth).

On the game’s final play, Chippewa QB Cooper Rush lofted a Hail Mary from just beyond midfield that receiver Jesse Kroll caught just inside the 10. As Kroll was falling, he lateraled it back to wideout Corey Willis, who then rand at least 35 yards across the field to beat a Cowboy defender to the goal line (and barely).

The play should have never happened because of an arcane exception to a rule, the rule that the referees enforced. I can see why the referees made the error easier than I can see why the exception to the rule exists in the first place. If you want to dive deeper, go here.

Ballage was in a zone all night. An end zone.

Meanwhile in Tempe, Pac-12 After Sark Dark began with a bang as Arizona State pillaged Texas Tech, 68-55. Junior Sun Devil running back Kalen Ballage, a 6’3″, 230-pound load, ran for SEVEN touchdowns and caught an EIGHTH. That tied an NCAA record. Kliff Kingsbury’s “But How Far Will My GQ Looks Get Me?” Tour continues.

The Medium Happy Week 2 Fascin-Eight is as follows: 1) Alabama 2) Florida State 3) Houston 4) Ohio State 5) Louisville 6) Michigan 7) Clemson 8) Wisconsin.

4. Bill Belichick: The MacGyver of the NFL

Garoppolo, now 1-0 as an NFL starter. Brady can’ play forever, can he?

You’re Bill Belichick and the two best players on your team, the two best to ever play their respective positions, quarterback Tom Brady and tight end Rob Gronkowski, are out for a prime-time season opener at one of the trendiest teams in the NFL, the Arizona Cardinals. Oh, and it’s like a 2,500-mile plane trip. And your three best receivers for your untested QB, Jimmy Garoppolo, are white dudes, while a fourth is a dude named White.

No problem. New England overcomes the 7 to 9 point spread and the Cardinals, 23-21, as Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola, Chris Hogan and James White combined for 18 catches and the Cards missed a game-winning field goal due to a low snap as time expired. Watch the Pats be 4-0 when Tom Brady returns next month.

Meanwhile, with his last two visits to University of Phoenix Stadium, Belichick has somewhat exorcised the demons of that 2008 Super Bowl loss there.

5. “Sully, Isn’t That…..?”

White planes, New York

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film in which the plane he is riding in ditches into the water but he survives? No, that’s Cast Away.

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film in which he plays a white-haired, kind-hearted captain whose passengers learn mid-trip that he’s not taking them where they thought he was taking them? No, that’s Polar Express.

May Day on a January Day

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film where he is piloting an aircraft that suffers a catastrophic malfunction, causing him to scrap the mission, but everyone survives? No, that’s Apollo 13.

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film where he plays a middle-aged California dude who’s transitioning to a new job and once served in the military? No, that’s Larry Crowne.

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film in which his decisions are second-guessed by an actor of Irish-American heritage? No, that’s Saving Private Ryan.

Sully, isn’t that the Tom Hanks film in which we see him in a New York airport? No, that’s The Terminal. 

Sully, isn’t that the Laura Linney film where she is wasted by doing scenes of phone conversations with a family member? No, that’s Love, Actually. 

Sully, isn’t that the Aaron Eckhart film where he is seen working in New York City and sorta has a crush on his boss? No, that’s No Reservations. 

Note: Medium Happy’s outstanding film critic, Chris Corbellini, will have a film review of this movie later today. 

Music 101

Harden My Heart

At some point in the early Eighties a record executive must have wondered aloud, “If only Pat Benatar knew how to play the saxophone?” The result was lead singer/blower Rindy Ross and the Portland, Ore., based band Quarterflash. This song hit No. 3 on the Billboard charts in autumn of 1981 and the follow-up, “Find Another Fool” also made it into the Top 20.

Remote Patrol

Running Wild with Bear Grylls

NBC 9 p.m.

You watch the NFL; I’ll watch former laconic NFL star Marshawn Lynch pair up with the host as they tackle the island of Corsica. What goes together better than “Running Wild” and BeastMode?