by John Walters

Starting Five

1.“Odor! Odor! Odor!”*

The judges will also accept “Fight Clubs” and “Lone Spar State”

Was it really seven months ago that Joey Bautista flipped a bat after a coup de grace home run against the Texas Rangers in the ALDS? Apparently so. Texas hasn’t forgotten (though they do seem to have forgotten that a litany of bonehead fielding errors allowed Bautista the opportunity to end them).

Rookie pitcher Matt Bush plunked Bautista in the ribs in the 7th 8th inning even though the Rangers only led by one run, but perhaps because this was the last time these two clubs will face each other in the regular season and maybe the last time Bautista would bat against them. Later, Bautista slid late into 2nd base while breaking up a double play, which Ranger 2nd baseman Rougned Odor did not appreciate.

The bout lasted shorter than Rousey-Holm. Odor shoved Bautista with both arms and when Joey Bats cocked his right arm to swing, Odor connected with a short right jab to the jaw as Ranger fans chanted “U-S-A! U-S-A!” It’s a wonder JB kept his feet.  p.s. Hey, Donald, we do win anymore.

The questions now are, How will the Blue Jays retaliate and will Odor move up in weight class for his next bout?

Texas won.

2. Two Great Lakes, One Great Team

It wasn’t all bad sports news for Toronto yesterday. The Raptors won their second Game 7 in two weeks, turning off the Heat by a 25-point margin to advance to the Eastern Conference finals against Cleveland. The Cavs have played 8 game in the playoffs, going 8-0. The Raptors have played 14, going 8-6.

So, yeah, it’s Lake Erie versus Lake Ontario.

3. It’s John Miller Time

I’d agree that Donald Trump impersonating his own spokesman 25 years ago was “small potatoes” except that isn’t he the same guy who blathered on and on about a certain person not being born in the U.S. 50 years ago with absolutely no evidence to support his contrarian claim and was not about to accept 1) it was a long time ago and 2) what does it matter as acceptable responses?

So now the Washington Post has hoisted Trump by his own petard (there’ll be a lot of that coming this next few months) and he’s going the straight denial route. Which is like farting in an elevator when it’s just you and someone else and acting as if it weren’t you.

Anyway, my guess it that the name “John Miller” comes from the man above (top of this item), who was a well-known New York City reporter at that time whom Donald could have, for all we know, been watching on TV at the time the People reporter phoned. If you haven’t listened to the tape, there’s a glorious part where she asks John Miller what p.r. firms he previously worked at (maybe she suspected he wasn’t John Miller) and he replies, “I worked for different firms. I worked for a couple of different firms.”

Worth noting: About two years later, a very close friend of mine at Sports Illustrated sat with The Donald at a boxing match in Atlantic City for a story he was doing on a boxing manager. Trump spent part of their conversation sharing his thoughts on the exquisite quality of his wife’s, Marla Maples‘, ass.

4. “You’re Fired!”*

*The judges will also accept “Burning Down the House Dothraki”

On Game of Thrones, Daenerys Targaryen escapes her Real Widows of Dothraki fate by immolating her captors (with a little help from her friends). So that makes two major characters in the past three weeks, Daenerys and Jon Snow, who may have a little something in common. Hmmmm……

Meanwhile, we can begin to see an end-game setting up on GoT. It’s no longer just squabbling and feuding for the sake of it. The lone mystery remaining is where House Lannister will fit into it all. Have to love the reunion of two Stark siblings, and something should also tell you that they’ll be relying on their long-lost sister, “I am no one,” to help take down Ramsay Bolton*, the Worst Person in Westeros, in the future.

*Did you notice that he was skinning an apple throughout his scene? His motto: “Work hard, flay hard.”

Other thoughts: Nice to see Petyr Baelish back on the screen….Tormund was looking at Brienne as if he wants to ask her to the Castle Black Winter Formal….their offspring would be a D-I left tackle, no doubt…Alan Sepinwall called Tyrion the “Gerald Ford of Meereen,” because he was appointed leader by a rule who left town (dragon, helicopter, what’s the difference?)….I can’t remember the last time I saw a male actor cry as profusely as Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy). He’s good.

5. Pet Sounds Turns 50

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOMyS78o5YI

Is Pet Sounds, which was released 50 years ago today by the Beach Boys, the greatest album by an American band ever made? I think so. So extraordinary was this album, Brian Wilson’s attempt to match the wonders of  The Beatles’ Revolver of the previous year, that it left John, Paul, George and Ringo gobsmacked and they went back into the studio and created Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band as their one-upping of this.

If you get a chance, see Love and Mercy, last year’s film that does a terrific job telling the story of how this album was made. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” “God Only Knows,” “Sloop John B,” “Caroline, No,” “I Know There’s An Answer,” etc. It’s a must-own album.

Music 101

Never Let You Go

This is what Chuck Taylor of Billboard magazine (and not of canvas high tops fame) wrote about this Third Eye Blind song, released in 2000 and climbing as high as 14: “…“packs in the hooks; a compelling opening guitar riff, a celebratory party ambience, an end-of-song spoken part that kids everywhere will be reciting ad-nauseam, and lead singer/writer/co-producer Stephan Jenkins‘ dead-on vocals, delivered in a pleasing falsetto at times.” Rumor has it that Jenkins wrote the song as an ode to his muse at the time, Charlize Theron.

“That girl is like a sunburn” is one of the better lines in a song of the past, well, ever….

Remote Patrol

Thunder at Warriors, Game 1

TNT 9 p.m.

Castle, Season (Series?) Finale

ABC 10 p.m.

Who will fare worse tonight, Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) or Kevin Durant?

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. It’s Over

I don’t have a Crying Jordan on Duncan Face meme, but it’s over. The Spurs lost to the Thunder last night and we’ve seen the end of the Tim Duncan-Manu Ginobili-Tony Parker era. Even if the former two return next year, which I somewhat doubt, it’s over.

Pop remains an outstanding coach, and the Spurs won’t be bad. But for the next few years the West will belong to Golden State and OKC (Kevin Durant ain’t going anywhere) while you can keep an eye on the Trail Blazers, Timberwolves and Suns climbing. To everything there’s a season, and the Spurs had a long, long run: 19 consecutive seasons* of 50 or more wins is incredible. But it’s all over now.

Duncan may need knee surgery. Either way, he just turned 40 and in the last week he had a playoff game in which he totaled zero points. An all-time great player, arguably the greatest power forward in NBA history (Karl Malone would have a righteous beef about that). Remember when Kobe scored 60 in his final game all those hours ago? No way Duncan still has a game anywhere near that one still in him.

*SAS went 37-13 in 1999, when the NBA only played 50 games.

2. Dearth Mall

This was the worst week for department stores since the 2008-09 financial crisis. They’re becoming the new newspapers. Earnings reports this week….

Macy’s….first-quarter income tumbled 40% against last year. Stock down more than 20% this week.

Kohl’s….Sales fall 4%, the first drop in six quarters. Sstock is down 6%.

Nordstrom’s….Misses earnings, stock down 16%.

Ralph Lauren…..Down 3%

J.C. Penney…..Stock down 8%

What’s happening? Amazon is happening. GET OUT OF YOUR DAMN HOMES, PEOPLE, OR THE MATRIX REALLY WILL BE REAL.

3. There’s Worse Advice Than This

Wouldn’t you like to be the guy who delivers a copy of the current issue of GQ to Aaron Hernandez’s cell?

4. RIP, Susannah Mushatt Jones…

…and now Emma Morano is on the clock.

Susannah Mushatt Jones, the last living American woman born in the 19th century, has died. Jones, who was born in Alabama in July of 1899, was 116 years old. She did not drink or smoke, but she did–here’s the good news, Andy Staples–eat four strips of bacon daily. Jones was before before the Wright Brothers flew their fast aircraft. She was an astronaut.

Now Morano, an Italian woman who was born in November of 1899, is believed to be the oldest living woman on the planet, but there’s probably some woman in China who’s 135 and we just don’t know it.

5. Where In The World?

Earlier this week answer: Warsaw, Poland

Music 101

Still They Ride

Jann Wenner, i.e. Rolling Stone, i.e The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, loathes Journey. I get it…to a degree. I mean, just look how high Steve Perry hitched up his jeans. But he hitched up his falsetto even higher, and you can’t knock the band’s ability, especially on this album, Escape, to write hits. Even if they’re not cool. If you’re too cool to listen to Escape, you’re too cool for your own good. This is one of four songs off the album to make it into the Top 20 on the Billboard chart in 1981, none of which is “Stone In Love,” which is at worst the album’s second-best tune.

xxx

by Katie McCollow

You guys! It’s Friday the 13^th. And we all know what that means–bad luck.

Some Pollyannas say bad luck is just a lack of preparation colliding with a lack of opportunity, but how does that explain an anvil randomly falling on your head or the TV going wonky during the New Girl season finale or my car blowing up because I ignored the ‘service engine’ light for six months?

My bangs aren’t bad luck and neither is your head lice!

And you nice people, who dropped by here today thinking you were getting John and getting me instead…well that ain’t good luck, is it?

But think of it this way—if this is the worst thing that happens to you today, then it wasn’t so bad. You may even enjoy it…but you do have to read all the way to the end, or something terrible will happen.

That’s not true! Nothing bad will happen*, not to you anyway, and the worst thing that will happen to me is, John will dress me down via email for not holding your attention (the words ‘click bait’ will be bandied about) but that’s not that bad either, because I won’t read it until next week. Feel cherished, knowing that John is very protective of his readership.

My point is, I believe that believing Friday the 13^th is a day for bad luck is a silly superstition, and I’m not just saying that because saying and writing that many times over, in a somewhat manic way as I lie under the covers and refuse to leave the house, will ensure that nothing bad will happen.

There’s a word for fearing Friday the 13^th; it’s ‘friggatriskaidekaphobia’, which is a lot harder to say than “Fear of Friday the 13^th”, but I think everyone should take a moment and at least try. In the comments section, please let us know how it went.

Adam (looking exasperatedly at his watch): “Let it be known that at noon on the very first Friday the 13^th, my girlfriend wrecked everything. The first bad luck thing to happen is, her best bits are suddenly covered with leaves.”**

Huh. Doomed from the beginning, that’s depressing…but you know what? Another quick search tells me that summer shorts are on sale at Old Navy, and that’s good news by any measure. I feel better!

Eve wishes she’d had free shipping too

Five Things That Either Are Happening or Did Happened on Friday the 13th

1. John Kasich Celebrates his 64^th Birthday

You remember him, right? Ran for president, seemed at least kind of sane, some of the time…no? Well anyway, it’s his birthday today. Whether or not this is good or bad is best left for him to decide. He seems like the type who would think that was good news, not one of those “Bleh, I always figured I would’ve made it onto Jeopardy by now” types.

I guess it’s fine it’s my birthday

2. Sam Patch’s Last Leap

This second tidbit is from the Livescience website, which I mistakenly went to thinking I could purchase cat food. Nope! Silly me. But I did find the headline “13 Freaky Things That Happened on Friday the 13th”, which is incredibly serendipitous, if you ask me.

Apparently on Friday, November 13, 1829, noted daredevil Sam Patch ( love the old-timey name) leaped (lept?) over the edge of Genesee Falls and his body was never recovered.

an actual picture of Sam Patch

Far freakier than this nob’s attempt to jump off a cliff and…not disappear? was the write-up of the event in the New York Times: “The waters, troubled a moment in swallowing their victim, are at rest! The expiring bubbles announce that the spirit has departed, leaving the body in the dark bosom of the ocean buried! The multitude shrink away abashed and rebuked!”  That’s some good stuff.

3. One Horror After Another

On Friday, October 13^th ,1972, a Uruguayan aircraft crashed in the Andes Mountains. The survivors ate the dead to stay alive, and a movie was made about it starring Ethan Hawke.*** I know. Let’s talk about something else.

4. The Friday the 13^th Movie Franchise was Born

On May 9^th, 1980. I’ve never seen any of those movies; the first one came out when I was only 12, and I wasn’t allowed to see it. After that I didn’t bother with the next 43 installments because I was afraid I wouldn’t know what was going on. Kevin Bacon was in it, and I could take the time to come up with a ‘Six degrees of Kevin Bacon” joke here, but I am not inclined to do so, and for that I won’t apologize.

5. And Lastly, Some really Good News

On Friday, April 13, 2029, the asteroid 99942 Apophis will safely fly by the Earth. When it was first discovered way back in 2004, some dumb scientists thought it would crash directly into Earth, but now smart scientists say no, it won’t. That is a huge relief, and I hope it sends you off into this day with a spring in your step, secure in the knowledge that that the odds of good things happening are equal to the odds of bad things happening.

Of all the things that happen on 4/13/29, this will NOT BE ONE OF THEM

*If anything bad does happen to you because you didn’t read all the way to the end, I am sorry. It wasn’t my fault, though.

**And on the eighth day, Eve invented the phrase ‘my eyes are up here’.

***I actually like Ethan Hawke a lot. Before Sunrise/Sunset are two of my all-time faves. Now I feel bad, because if he gets a Google alerts and sees this he might feel bad. Omigod! Do you think Ethan Hawke will read this??

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Like you, I’m assuming, I’ve run a plethora of 10-Ks, but never a 20-K.. Max Scherzer of the Washington Nationals became just the fourth pitcher in MLB history to strike out 20 batters in a nine-inning game last night. The other three? Roger Clemens twice, Randy Johnson and Kerry Wood.

Scherzer, who pitched two no-hitters last season in his first year with the Nats, was facing his former club, the Detroit Tigers for the first time. He struck out the side in the eighth and the first two batters he got out in the ninth. Everyone’s favorite heterochromiac hurler had a chance to break the record, facing James McCann with the tying run on base and the Nats up only 3-2. But McCann, who had already whiffed three times, avoided the Golden Sombrero (and history) by hitting Miracle Max’s 119th pitch into a fielder’s choice.

Who holds the Major League record for strikeouts in a game of any length? Tom Cheney of the Washington Senators, who in 1962  whiffed 21 batters while tossing all 16 innings against the Baltimore Orioles in a 2-1 win. Weirdly, only an hour after last night’s game, Cheney’s Wikipedia page had already been updated.

Meanwhile, in the Bronx, Phil Coke pitched to Lorenzo Cain….

2. Deliberate

April 15, 2013: Boston Marathon bombings. Three fatalities (and a police officer shot and killed later that week. Nation responds as you might expect with Muslim bombers.

April 17, 2013: West, Texas, fertilizer plant explosion. 15 fatalities. No one outside Texas cared. Yesterday it is determined that it was deliberate. Will we care now? Who did it?

3. Elizabeth is Warren With Donald on Twitter (Also: Ryan’s Hope)

Ted Cruz had his Princeton frosh roommate Craig Mizan, and Donald Trump has Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.). She went after the Donald on Twitter last month and was doing so again yesterday.

.@realDonaldTrump: Your policies are dangerous. Your words are reckless. Your record is embarrassing. And your free ride is over.

— Elizabeth Warren (@elizabethforma) May 11, 2016

….and…

You care so much about struggling American workers, @realDonaldTrump, that you want to abolish the federal minimum wage?

— Elizabeth Warren (@elizabethforma) May 11, 2016

….and more. It’s as if Warren is providing cover fire for the Dems before they go in to that jungle.

Meanwhile, Paul Ryan will meet with The Donald today….Almost, but not quite Elvis-Nixon. Here’s how I see it going down…

4. Stop Dragon My Heart Around

Spoiler Alert: I’ve got some THOUGHTS on where Game Of Thrones is going. It is not known. George R.R. Martin has yet to even write these chapters.

Okay, I won’t discuss  with whom Lyanna Stark was or why she was making that sound up in that Tower of Joy. If you’ve read the books, or if you’re obsessed enough with Game Of Thrones, you have a pretty good idea an you’re right.

Buuuuuut, if you recall last season’s “Hardhome” episode and watched Jon Snow, the Wildings and a few men of the Knight’s Watch get pulverized, you know an essential truth. No human can stop the White Walkers. Which means….

…..that the three dragons of Khaleesi will have to. Which means that ultimately this is what it’s all coming to. Ramsay Bolton and Cersei Lannister and the vineyard owners of Dorne and the Slave Masters of Mereen can pitch their fits and grab for power, but the only creatures that can save the world are Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion, all of whom sound like erectile dysfunction drugs. And only one (perhaps two) human can harness their powers.

So that’s where this is headed. The book series is called, after all, A Song Of Ice and Fire.

And you say, Thanks, Captain Obvious.

5. “You’e a Peon” Vacation

I compiled the list below for a story in Newsweek, a list that my editor wisely advised me to scale down for the piece. Here, though, for you is a nearly day by day itinerary of sports and music choices in Europe between now and the last day of July (I’ve left August open for when they cancel the Olympics in Rio and decide to stage them again in London).

May 12-22

Cannes, France……………..Cannes Film Festival

The fifteen most-buzzed about films….

May 12

Copenhagen, Denmark………Mumford and Sons

May 13

Marseille, France……….AC/DC

Hamburg, Germany……..Mumford and Sons

May 14

Barcelona, Spain……..Bruce Springsteen

 Amsterdam, The Netherlands…….Rod Stewart

Cologne, Germany………….Adele

May 15

Utrecht, Belgium…………..Yes

May 16

Werchter, Belgium…………AC/DC

May 17

San Sebastian, Spain………..Bruce Springsteen

Munich, Germany………..Mumford and Sons

Zurich, Switzerland………Adele

May 18

Basel, Switzerland……Europa League Final (Liverpool v. Seville)

May 19

Lisbon, Portugal……….Bruce Springsteen

Vienna, Austria………..Mumford and Sons

Vienna, Austria………AC/DC

May 20

Amsterdam……….Radiohead

A Moon-Shaped Pool is Radiohead’s “strangest album yet,” said one review. Depending on your Radiohead fandom, that’s the best or worst news ever.  Also, this site endeavored to rank, bottom to top, all 159 of the band’s songs (hint: It’s all the same song).

Prague, Czech Republic……Mumford and Sons

May 21

Madrid, Spain…………..Bruce Springsteen

Amsterdam……….Radiohead

Lisbon, Portugal………..Adele

London……………..FA Cup Final (Manchester United v. Crystal Palace)

May 22-June 6

Paris, France….…..French Open

May 22

Prague…….AC/DC

Paris…………………Mumford and Sons

May 23

Paris……………..Radiohead

Amsterdam………….Mumford and Sons

 

Bonn, Germany………Yes

May 24

Barcelona, Spain…….Adele

Paris……….Radiohead

Antwerp, Belgium………Mumford and Sons

Stuttgart, Germany………..Yes

May 25

Manchester, England……….Bruce Springsteen

May 26

Hamburg, Germany………AC/DC

London…………..Radiohead

May 27

Dublin, Ireland……………Bruce Springsteen

London…………..Radiohead

May 28

London……Radiohead

Verona, Italy…………..Adele

Milan, Italy……..UEFA Champions League Final, Milan, Italy (Real Madrid v. Atletico Madrid)

Milan………….Yes

May 28-29……

Exeter, England…BBC Radio 1 Big Weekend (Coldplay, Bastille, Mumford and Sons, Iggy Azalea, The Weeknd, One Republic et al)

May 29

Monaco………Monaco Grand Prix

Bern, Switzerland,……..AC/DC

Dublin………….Bruce Springsteen

May 30

Padua, Italy……..Yes

June 1

Glasgow, Scotland…….Bruce Springsteen

Lyon, France…………Radiohead

Leipzig, Germany……….AC/DC

Amsterdam…………….Adele

Florence, Italy…………..Yes

June 2

Rome, Italy………Diamond League (Track & Field)

June 2-4

Barcelona, Spain……..Primavera Sound Festival (Radiohead, Tame Impala, Animal Collective, Brian Wilson)

June 3

Coventry, England……..Bruce Springsteen

Amsterdam…………Adele

London……………AC/DC

June 4

Amsterdam………Adele

Paris……..French Open, Women’s Singles Final

June 3-5

Mendig, Germany..Rock am Ring Festival (Black Sabbath, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The 1975 et al)

June 5

London………..Bruce Springsteen

Paris…………French Open, Men’s Singles Final

Birmingham, England……..Diamond League

June 6

Amsterdam………..Adele

June 8

Berlin, Germany……..Black Sabbath

June 9

Oslo, Norway……..Diamond League

Paris…………Adele

Manchester………..AC/DC

Dublin…………The Stone Roses

June 11

Derby, England……Black Sabbath

June 12

Antwerp, Belgium……Adele

Aarhus, Denmark…….AC/DC

June 13

Lyon, France……..Europa Cup, Stage 1 Match (Belgium v. Italy)

Verona, Italy……Black Sabbath

June 14

The Hague, The Netherlands……..Bruce Springsteen

London…………….Van Morrison

June 15

London……………..Coldplay

Manchester, England……The Stone Roses

Zurich, Switzerland……Black Sabbath

June 16

London……………..Coldplay

Stockholm Sweden………..Diamond League Track and Field

Cardiff, Wales………….Rihanna

Lens Agglo, France……Europa Cup, Stage 1 Match (England v. Wales)

June 17-19

Aarhus, Denmark……Northside Festival (Beck, Wilco, Iggy Pop, Duran Duran et al)

June 17

Munich, Germany……….Bruce Springsteen

Nice, France…………….Europa Cup, Stage 1 Match (Spain v. Turkey)

Amsterdam………………Rihanna

Dessel, Belgium………Black Sabbath

Manchester, England……The Stone Roses

June 18

London…………………..Coldplay

Paris…………………….Europa Cup, Stage 1 Match (Portugal v. Austria)

Manchester, England……The Stone Roses

June 19

Berlin, Germany………..Bruce Springsteen

London……………………Coldplay

Manchester, England……The Stone Roses

June 20-22

Zagreb, Croatia……..INmusic Festival (Wilco, Florence and the Machine, The Heavy, PJ Harvey et al)

June 21

Bordeaux, France………Europa Cup, Stage 1 Match (Spain v. Croatia)

Dublin……..Rihanna

June 22

Copenhagen, Denmark…….Bruce Springsteen

 

June 22-26

Pilton, England–Glastonbury Festival (Muse, Adele, Coldplay, Beck, ELO et al)

June 23

Amsterdam…….Coldplay

Hassel, Norway…….Black Sabbath

June 24

London…………Rihanna

June 25

Gothenberg, Sweden………Bruce Springsteen

Coventry………….Rihanna

June 25-July 2

Roskilde, Denmark……..Roskilde Festival (P.J. Harvey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, New Order, et al)

June 27-July 10

London…….Wimbledon Tennis Championships

June 27

Gothenberg………….Bruce Springsteen

Glasgow……….Rihanna

June 28

Sunderland, England………Beyonce

June 29

Oslo………………….Bruce Springsteen

Berlin…………………Coldplay

June 30

Cardiff, Wales………..Beyonce

June 30-July 3

Werchter, Belgium…….Rock Werchter (Band of Horses, Beck, Editors, Iggy Pop, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Robert Plant)

July 1

Hamburg…………Coldplay

July 2

Mont-Saint-Michel, France……Stage 1, Tour de France (ends July 24)

London…………….Beyonce

July 3

Milan………Bruce Springsteen

Stockholm………Coldplay

London…….Beyonce

July 4

Johanneshov, Sweden…….Rihanna

Newcastle, Ireland……….Van Morrison

July 5

Milan……….Bruce Springsteen

Copenhagen…….Coldplay

Manchester……..Beyonce

July 6

Lyon………….Europa Cup Semi-final

July 7-9

Lisbon……..NOS Alive Festival (Radiohead, Arcade Fire, Tame Impala et al)

July 7

Glasgow…….Beyonce

Marseille, France……..Europa Cup Semi-final

Copenhagen……..Rihanna

July 7-9

Bilbao, Spain……BBK Live (Arcade Fire, Foals, New Order et al)

July 8-10

Perthshire, Scotland….T in the Park (Stone Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kaiser Chiefs)

July 9

Hamburg, Germany…….Rihanna

London…….Wimbledon, Ladies’ Singles Final

Werchter, Belgium……Bruce Springsteen

Dublin…………..Beyonce

Lucca, Italy…….Van Morrison

July 10

Paris—-UEFA Euro 2016 Final, Paris

London……….Wimbledon, Men’s Singles Final

July 11

Paris…………..Bruce Springsteen

July 12

Dusseldorf, Germany…….Beyonce

July 13

Paris…………….Bruce Springsteen

Milan……………Rihanna

July 14

Zurich, Switzerland……Beyonce

July 14-17

Ayrshire, Scotland…….British Open (Royal Troon)

July 15

Monaco………Diamond League

Nice, France…….Rihanna

July 16

Amsterdam……Beyonce

Rome……………Bruce Springsteen

July 17

Frankfurt………Rihanna

July 18

Milan…………..Beyonce

July 19

Lyon, France…….Rihanna

July 20

Horsens, Denmark……Bruce Springsteen

July 21

Paris……………Beyonce

July 22-23

London……….Diamond League

July 23

Villeneuve-d’Ascq, France…….Rihanna

July 24

Copenhagen……Beyonce

Paris……Final Stage, Tour de France

July 26

Stockholm………Beyonce

Trondheim, Norway……..Bruce Springsteen

Prague, Czech Republic…….Rihanna

July 28

Cologne, Germany……..Rihanna

Oslo, Norway………….Bruce Springsteen

July 29

Frankfurt, Germany……Beyonce

July 30

Saint-Denis, France………Rihanna

July 31

Brussels, Belgium…….Beyonce

Zurich, Switzerland……Bruce Springsteen

 

by John Walters

Starting Five

You Nanimous!

I know it’s an Olympic Year, but you are most likely looking at your Sports Illustrated “Sportsmanperson of the Year in Stephen Curry. He won his second consecutive MVP yesterday by leading his team to a 73-9 record, the league’s best ever, and by leading the league in both scoring (30.1) and steals (2.14). Oh, and he was the first unanimously voted (all 131 ballots) MVP winner, and yes, you can argue that LeBron, Shaq and MJ deserved the distinction in previous years.

The boyish-faced Steph is so many things: a drone-strike shooter; a player with an unbelievable handler (Did you see his last assist in regulation to Draymond Green on Monday night); a selfless teammate; and a post-racial icon.

Also, he’s changing the game. Did you see where Damian Lillard was launching bombs from on Monday? Steph’s influence. Do you see that the Cavs now lead the NBA in the postseason for threes made (16.8 to GSW’s 12.0, but they were without Steph for five games)? That’s mostly Steph and the Dubs changing the game.

2. Caps Lock (Out)*

*The judges refuse to accept “It Ain’t Ovi Til It’s Over”

Fun series, but the Pittsburgh Penguins take Game 6 and the whole shebang from Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals after an overtime goal by Nick Bonino. If you were watching this game from the Bada Bing, this must have been sweet.

Anyway, this is the sixth season of the Ovi Era in which the Caps have finished first in their division, and they have yet to play in a Stanley Cup finals. Ovi is kind of the Dirk Nowitzki of hockey (and yes, we know Dirk eventually got there….but it took awhile)

3. FOX 10, ESPN 9

At last night’s Sports Emmy Awards, FOX won 10 categories while ESPN won 9. Couple that with yesterday’s quarterly earnings miss by Disney, its first in five years, and I think John Skipper’s li’l buddy last night may have been a bottle of Maker’s Mark.

Also, props to HBO’s/NBC’s Aaron Cohen for winning yet another Outstanding Writing Award. I don’t know how many that is now. Years ago, 2007 or 2008, Aaron won his first and thanked his girlfriend for her support. He was followed at the mic by Charles Barkley, who just spectacularly crucified him for that (jokingly, but you know how Charles can joke). Aaron has overcome that moment and well.

Note well: there’s an Emmy Award-winning Aaron Cohen who wrote for The Colbert Report. Not the same guy.

Complete list of awards here….

4. Over There!

Beyonce, Bruce and Bale. Rihanna, Radiohead and Ronaldo. A Stone Roses reunion in Manchester. A Tour de France that begins in Normandy. Serena goes to tie and then break Steffi Graf’s Grand Slam singles record of 22. Europa 2016. Coldplay’s final (?) tour. Dude, you’re even getting Adele!

It’s All Happening in Europe this summer. Here are three European excursions (“Bey-cations?”) I’ve mapped out for you.

5. A Recife For Disaster

So you know it’s bad when a former Brazilian soccer star, Rivaldo, urges people not to travel to Brazil for the Olympics, saying the atmosphere surrounding Rio de Janeiro and the 2016 Summer Games is getting “more ugly.” Oh, and the coastal city of Recife is ground zero for the Zika virus, which is spread by mosquitoes, which are plentiful.

If you were writing a global biological disaster screenplay, how about gathering intensely sexually active athletes from all over the planet in one spot, then seeing them infect one another with a potentially deadly virus, and then watch as they return to their home countries and infect others? And you thought the “Z” in World War Z stood for “zombie.”

Where In The World

Last week: Palma, on the island of Mallorca

Music 101

Strange Magic

This trippy single from Jeff Lynne’s Electric Light Orchestra was released in 1976 and went to No. 14 on the Billboard charts. With hits like this one, “Evil Woman,” “Livin’ Thing,” “Do Ya,” “Turn To Stone,” “Sweet Talkin’ Woman”, “Don’t Bring Me Down” and “Mr. Blue Sky,” ELO dominated mid-Seventies FM radio and were at the vanguard of prog rock, which was never Mr. Jann Wenner’s favorite style of music. Still, Lynne is an R&R HOFer

Remote Patrol

Game 7: Blues at Stars

8 p.m. OLN

True confession: I still don’t understand why icing is only called some of the time. Or why no one calls frosting. Or why teams don’t just pull the goalie more often for the heck of it. Or how everyone seems to implicitly know when their shift is over and when someone else shift begins. Or how smelly hockey gear must get and how those trainers are probably the most dedicated. Anyway….it’s Game 7 and what’s not to love about that?