by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Ernie’s a Good Dude

What stands out most about Ernie Johnson, who last night won a Sports Emmy as Outstanding Studio Host and then promptly bequeathed it to the daughters of Stuart Scott, is how reliably solid he is. A white man who never played the game and shares the TNT studios with three African-American former NBA All-Stars, two of them Hall of Famers, EJ never backs down from them but he also never tries to wrest the spotlight, either.

He’s a man who knows who he is, which is sadly an increasingly rare spectacle. Last night’s gesture was not surprising. And it was funny because while two men could not be more different in on-air temperament and style, that wasn’t the point. Johnson, himself a cancer survivor, by giving Stu’s daughters the trophy, was just reminding them that no one in the room was going to forget their dad.

He’s a special man.

2. Square Peg

Some of the very best scenes from Mad Men have involved the fabulous Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss, who grew up before our eyes on The West Wing) and either Roger Sterling or Don Draper. Sunday night was no different, as Peggy got hammered in the skeleton of an office in the old Time & Life Building (I think SI For Kids moved in after?) with Roger while roller skating.

This piece in Vanity Fair discusses the inspiration for that scene and the one pictured above. This remains my favorite Peggy Olson scene.

3. Rip Off

“Stop! You’re hurting me. You brute.”

Yes, the moment I heard that Manny Pacquiao had suffered a torn rotator cuff before Saturday night’s Fight of the Hour, I thought 1) Who was the dope who decided to admit that publicly? 2) class-action suit and 3) why wasn’t this on the MayPac At Last doc on HBO?

Well, No. 2 has come to pass. I don’t know much about how things transpire legally, but it does seem to me that the people who inveigled the public into paying $99 to watch were not quite forthright. What if Manny and Top Rank have to pay up? Then they’ll definitely fight Mayweather again.

4. Tim’s Time?

The Big Fundamental averaged 18 ppg. in the series. His lowest scoring game, the one that skewed the average down, was during SAS’ 27-point win in Game 3.

Bill Simmons (and Gregg Popovich) are correct: 39 year-old Tim Duncan really was the Spurs’ most consistent player in their seven-game series versus the Clips. And recall, it was Duncan who buried the two pressure free throws with :08 left after being whistled for the phantom foul a few seconds earlier.

Is it time for the league’s best-ever power forward to retire? I hope not. But next year’s Spurs need improved back court play? Who’d have thought, after the 2013 NBA Finals, that Tony Parker would be washed up before Duncan? Or will the Frenchman have his own career renaissance next season?

5. WDOG (The Smartest Pet Trick)

Really enjoyed this Vulture piece from New York magazine, which had a terrific idea about how to cover the end of the Letterman era: interview a smattering of Dave’s former writers and ask them about their best ideas that never made air (every writer can recall his or her best line that got cut or story that didn’t make the lineup, back when print allowed only a finite amount of stories to run…even fewer when Rick Reilly was feeling prolific).

Music 101

How Deep Is Your Love?

Remember that year that Brady Anderson hit 50 home runs, and then he just went back to being Brady Anderson? Meet the Bee Gees, who were an afterthought Australian trio of siblings who with one monster album owned all of pop culture for a year or so. The Saturday Night Fever soundtrack spent 24 weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard chart and there are at least five Bee Gees songs on it that anyone of a certain age can recall in an instant. Related: John Travolta was once thin and lithe.

Remote Patrol

Bayern Munich at Barcelona

FOX Sports 1 2:30 p.m.

Messi: Barca has outscored its past 5 opponents by a score of 20-0. Is that good? It’s not bad.

The first leg of this UEFA Champions League semifinal features the two squads that most observers, your humble scribe included, consider the world’s two best squads. Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez suit up for host Barca, while Bayern boasts World Cup champions Thomas Muller and Bastian SCHWEINSTEIGER!!!!! among others. Two best teams in the world, and one of them has arguably the best player since Pele.

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. American Booty

The Met Gala, a.k.a. “Anna Wintour Shakes Down the Fashion Industry for Charity,” was held last night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I’m a fan because 1) it’s beautiful people getting swankdelicious 2) it’s at the Met and 3) it’s always in the beginning of May, which in many ways is the best time of year in New York City.

J-Lo and Kim Kardashian showed off their asse(t)s to the chagrin of all the skinny white girls.

I can confirm that at no time last night did Rosie Huntington-Whitely step into MacAleer’s to watch any of the games

2. The Clippers Grow Up

If you count his two stints with the Clippers as two, Barnes has played for nine different NBA teams in 11 seasons

In the span of one week, L.A.’s other NBA franchise has ripened to full maturity. After a tough home loss to the Spurs in Game 5, they win Game 6 in San Antonio, then wrest Game 7 from the Spurs by 2 points, and then without Chris Paul, their leader, come together as a unit and surprise the Rockets in Houston in Game 1 of their series. Matt Barnes, J.J. Redick and Jamal Crawford are producing like the seasoned pros that they are in supporting roles, while Blake Griffin is in his prime.

Watch out, Golden State. Your biggest competition is also your most hated rival.

Also: the Cavs lost. I’ll let Susie B. fill you in more about that…

3. Truth Is…

The CEO of a Silicon Valley-based company called Survey Monkey apparently died while working out on a treadmill in a posh Mexican resort last week. David Goldberg, 47, appears to have fallen while on a treadmill and somehow received blunt force trauma to his head. Goldberg’s wife, Sheryl Sandberg, is the COO of Facebook (I believe she was also on that flight that crash-landed in San Francisco two summers ago).

Bizarre. You’ll recall that on the show Silicon Valley, in order to account for the real-life death of cast member Chirstopher Evan Welch (cancer), they made up a story for this season’s premiere about the demise of his character, VC billionaire Peter Gregory. I’m not sure which tale is more preposterous.

The moral? Never go on vacation outside the United States.

4. Steph!

Pete Maravich’s ball skills, Larry Bird’s shooting touch, and Tim Duncan’s team-oriented attitude. That’s Stephen Curry.

You know that “This is SportsCenter” ad in which Golden State Warrior Stephen Curry thanks the cooks for making chicken curry? It’s not that far removed from reality. Curry, who was named the NBA MVP yesterday, was gracious, humble and sincere during his press conference. Great player, great role model.

Curry’s parents deserve some sort of award, but then they already have one.

5. Surely, You Can’t Be…

An oral history of Airplane! What is it? It’s a film with tons of B-list actors parodying themselves while also parodying the film Zero Hour, but that’s not important now. Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Music 101

Old Man

I’ve been first and last/Look at how the time goes past/But I’m all alone at last/Rolling home to you

In 1970 Neil Young purchased a ranch in northern California for $350,000. He still lives there today. The Broken Arrow ranch had an old caretaker, Louis Avila, who asked Young how a hippie his age could already be so wealthy as to afford that ranch. Young said, “Just lucky, Louie,” then wrote this hit in Avila’s honor, put it on his classic 1972 album Harvest, and made even more money.

Remote Patrol

Wizards-Hawks; Grizzlies-Warriors

TNT 8 p.m.

Try the Beal! Bradley scored a game-high 28 points in the WW’s Game 1 win

The W’s have nothing but W’s. The Wizards and Warriors are a combined 10-0 in the postseason thus far. Who will lose first? You’d have to go with the team that does not have the newly crowned NBA MVP.

by John Walters

Starting Five

Despite injuring his hammy in the first half, Chris Paul scored a game-high 27 points that included 5 of 6 from beyond the arc, and the last baskets of both the third and fourth quarters (the latter being the game-winner with :01 left)

1. That Paul Can Ball!

How do you dethrone the defending NBA champions in the first round of the playoffs? For one, shoot 8 of 14 from beyond the arc in the second half. The Spurs and Clippers played a classic Game 7 in L.A., with both teams scoring 54 points in the second half. Chronologically, this was the undercard of Saturday’s sports bacchanalia to Mayweather-Pacquiao. But, truly, it was the main event. Clippers 111, Spurs 109.

2. May Weather > Mayweather

Chuck & Reggie: Halfway to punch-drunk. (I’d watch a reality series of these two hanging out)

A highly anticipated championship bout took place in Las Vegas on Saturday evening and the only people who were KO’d were Rachel Nichols and Michelle Beadle (except, of course, they were not the only media who had their credentials yanked….just the only ones you heard about on Twitter). Martin Rogers of USA Today also had his pass pulled.

It was a snoozefest. Honestly, I’ve seen more punches land in a Royals game.

3. The New York Matts!

Harvey and the first-place Mets have New Yorkers rushing to Flushing….

Tommy John Surgery survivor Matt Harvey improves to 5-0, baseball’s best record, with Friday’s 4-0 shutout of the Nats….The Lastros have won 10 straight and have the American League’s best record (18-7)….The Yankees sweep a series with the Red Sox for the first time since the notorious three-day, five-game sweep at Fenway Park in 2006. Pinstripe closer Adam Warren has yet to allow a run in 10 appearances, and he even got David Ortiz out to close Sunday night’s game with bases loaded and the Sawx trailing by three in the bottom of the ninth, which is the David Ortiz-iest moment that you can conjure.

In short: WHAT is happening?!?

If you’re looking for familiar: It’s an odd-numbered year and the St. Louis Cardinals have MLB’s best record. The Cards advanced to the World Series in 2011 (won) and 2013 (lost).

4. High Fidel-ity

I would not pitch him inside if I were you, comrade.

Cuba has a Catch-22 problem.

The island country is poor.

It has an invaluable natural resource: baseball talent.

It loses that talent through illegal means to the USA and because it has no business dealings with Uncle Sam, is unable to tax any of the 10s of millions of dollars it otherwise might be able to.

And, finally, it is philosophically opposed to doing business with us capitalist pigs.

My piece in Newsweek (hopefully, the link to this will work).

5. “I’ve Never Been Black”

Orange is the new Buck

Leave it to Baltimore Oriole manager Buck Showalter to be one of the few (the only?) white people to have something sensible and sage to say about the riots and upheaval in his team’s town last week. Showalter is asked the question from what I believe is an African-American member of the media (I’m judging that by the sound of his voice; does that make me racist?).

Music 101

Check It Out

Future generations/Ridin’ on the highways that we built/I hope they have a better understanding

Attending college in Indiana in the mid-Eighties, we got a steady diet of John Mellencamp on the radio. I’ve always considered this the quintessential Mellencamp/Back Home Again song, even though there are a lot of viable candidates: “Small Town,” “Minutes to Memories” and “Pink Houses.”

Remote Patrol

David Letterman: A Life on Television

CBS 9:30 p.m.

“This is only an exhibition, it’s not a competition. Please: no wagering.”

“From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska….”

“They pelted us with rocks and garbage.”

“It’s more funs than humans should be allowed to have.”

“How about a lovely beverage?”

“Will it float?”

“Trump or monkey?”

My guess is that in one household in Fairfield County, Connecticut, the TV will not be tuned into this program tonight. Also, if you stay up later, Dave’s guests tonight are President Barack Obama and Will Ferrell. Not a bad green room….

by John Walters

Starting Five

Goodell: If you want me to pronounce your name correctly, be here in person when I call it.

1. Marcus Mariato?

You have very few responsibilities as commish, Roger Goodell. Number one, find a way to make potentially embarrassing scandals disappear by disappearing yourself after the Super Bowl. Number two, never mention the letters “C,” “T”, and “E” in that order. And number three, on the opening night of the NFL draft, be able to pronounce the names of at least the top five picks correctly.

Instead, we got “Marcus Mariato.” The Titans thought they were drafting a Hawaiian, but it turns out they were drafting a paisan.

p.s. My high school friends refer to me as “Walker” because Fr. Camille Prat called out my name as “Walker” on the first day of class and I didn’t correct him, so he called me “Walker” for the entire semester.

2. The Bucks Flop Here

And Dunleavy buried the three….

In three of the four quarters in Game 6 between the Bulls and Bucks, Chicago outscored Milwaukee by at least 14 points. The final: 120-66, a 54-point smashing that included the above play in which the Bucks’ Giannis Don’t-Ask-Me-To-Spell-His-Last-Name showed great closing speed in knocking Mike Dunleavy out of bounds. To be fair to Giannis, Dunleavy shoved him down at the other end of the court at the start of this play.

It wasn’t the worst playoff loss in NBA history — Minneapolis once beat St. Louis 133-75 — but that was in 1956 and the visiting team was the loser (no one one the Lakers had more than 19, by the way). As far as I know, that was the worst loss by the home team in NBA playoff history.

3. Another Draft (Item), Bartender!

Cleveland, Brown.

I think I saw an ESPN article touting the “Impact Players” who still remained after Round 1. Just for the record:

Tom Brady…..6th round

Richard Sherman….5th round

Antonio Brown….6th round (led NFL in receptions last year)

Julian Edelman….7th round (9 catches in Super Bowl XLIX, including game-winning TD)

Funny, Jameis. But will the No. 1 overall pick be this draft’s deadliest catch?

And already this photo has been deleted. So there’s your first “Famous Jameis” moment with the Bucs. No. 2: He referred to the city of “Tampa Bay.” We’re working on it.

4. Midnight Special

Seven of the past bouts in Las Vegas involving Manny Pacquiao or Floyd Mayweather have started after midnight EST (or EDT, I can never remember). Only one has started before 11:40 p.m. Game 7 of the Spurs-Clippers will tip off at 8 p.m. ET. And the Kentucky Derby post-time, where favorite American Pharaoh will start from the 17th position, from where no horse (or squirrel) has ever won, is 6:34 p.m.

Quickly: American Pharaoh: “Horse or Bradley Cooper film?”

Adjust your imbibing accordingly.

5. Whelp, Yelp!

If you’ve worked at a restaurant in the past five years (raises hand….raises both), then you probably loathe Yelp! When I served (my country) at the steakateria, our manager, Scott, would read Yelp! reviews at pre-shift nearly daily.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day for people who still believe we should make things as opposed to “services.” Both Yelp! (YELP) and LinkedIn (LNKD) got killed on earnings reports, each losing more than 20% of their stock value. Here, here! And….give ’em hell, Elon Musk! We need more people like you.

Just a note that in today’s TBL Round-Up, Mike Cardillo gives the Florida Sun-Sentinel props for using the term FloriDUH. Mr. Cardillo must not be a reader of MH (hurt feelings). We’ve been using that term for nearly three years.

Music 101

Black Star

Blame it on the black star/Blame it on the falling sky/Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

Before playlists, there were albums. Bands wrote 8 to 14 songs with the idea that you’d put the disc into the player and be done for the next 45 minutes to an hour. One of my favorite of the post-vinyl era is The Bends by Radiohead (I know: the cool kids will cite Kid A or OK Computer) (Really: click that last link). This song is not the most celebrated (Fake Plastic Trees, High ‘n Dry), but I absolutely love it.